I woke up wondering about the things I have to do today, and there is a whole lot to do.

Even though I feel that FOC is over and I'm having my freedom now, I still feel stress out. 

I'm not the type of person that can sit down quietly and do my homework, I have to play and have fun, enjoy the things I want to do, and avoiding the things I need to do. 

Yet I only can avoid it for that long. I'm planning to do my work today, if I can settle myself down to do it. 

For myself, I learnt that I can discipline myself if I do not break out of the routine of doing work. Once I do that, it stacks up for me. I think others feel the same too. That's why I need a break, even though I don't like to stay at home, I have to. For the sake of my qualifications. I have to force myself to get things done by today, or so someone kill help me. 

Another thing on my mine is Crushes. Its infectious. I was crushing on this girl in FOC, however, to my utter disappointment, she was reeled in by someone else, and I'm guessing it has been damn long. Since its a crush, I should be able to let it go easily? 

Wrong. 

Somehow, the more I try, the more I can't stop thinking about her. I hope there is a bad side to her, which will make me think twice, and at the most be her good friend, or something like that. My friends, from what they told me, to just go for it. 

'If the wedding ring isn't on, its not off-limits' a friend said. 

'At least you should uphold your morals' another friend responded.

If I can win a losing battle, it will be one of my biggest achievement which will be told to my children and grand-children, and so fore. Looking at the odds, losing this will just be thrown into the bin of many failures. I thought through failures come success? 

Maybe I have not come through enough failures to to know right from wrong, to lead me to what I yearn. 

I know of one thing, I'm no expert when it comes to matters of the heart, especially once's self. It Always hurts when you fail at it, but you have no other choice but to stand up on your two feet and reinforce your defenses. It will still hurt every single time you try, but I'll stay strong. 

Now what is my brain is saying? 

Well, I can't spoil their relationship, it would be against my morals. All I can do is make friends and wait, like being a sitting duck. Either I'll live happily ever after, or just get shot down by the hunter, most probably the lateral. 

Well, signing off here, going to take a bath and do what I need to do today. 

Itchy Itchy