Nyan cat the new rick-roll?

Nyan cat should be the new rick-roll, then you can tell your friends you been Nyan-ed. 


Well, its been quite some time since I posted something, so why not now? Lately I found out that I can barely keep awake in class. I try my very best, literally my best, to stay awake in class. It is all so boring. My head will tilt to the left, right, back or forth depending on how I sit. 
Well, the first week of school is coming to a close, with Friday left. Really? Thank god its Friday. I got a test on Tuesday, and that spoils most of my mood. 
But never fret, Nyan cat is always there to brighten up your day. Seriously, it is addictive but stupid. 


I just went on Facebook, and saw my secondary school classmates being uploaded and tagged on a photo. Then it came to me: how long has it been since I last met them? What feels like months seems like decades. I miss them, and I miss every other friend I know, even those I see everyday. I sometimes wish we can live in the same block, and then go to the playground to play every evening after doing my homework, which I never do during the evening. And then just have an awesome time with the people I know and love. 


I really would not know what to do if I never knew the friends I have now. 


Nyan Nyan~

What You Understand Is Not What You Really Know

A dream occurred to me last night, about me running, running away from evil that I fear, fear of death. Even at the safety of my friends, I just ran. We all ran, but all I remembered is only me left surviving. If I had power, I would have fought, if I had the strength, I would have fought, but in that dream, I was nothing, I just ran. Ran and abandoned my friends. Running away from the horde of people within the chaos of the city. I thought they were after my group of friends only, until I saw the city at the centre of destruction. Buildings burning, corpses lying everywhere, total havoc.
As I was running through what seems like a school hall, I saw a spaceship and people being captured. I saw an iconic super villain cartoon character, Dr. Doom. He tried to zap me with his lightning, and somehow it did not hurt, and I continue running. At that point I knew it was a dream, but I wasn't fully aware as to control my 'fantasy'. As I exited the hall, I was cornered on both sides, and my only way out was to jump on to the roof of a shelter overcasting a paved route, or what was left of it. So I jumped, and I hurt myself in someway, rendering me unable to move.
Weirdly to say, Darth Maul from StarWars approached me, and told me 'it is the end', zapping me with his electrical powers. I found out earlier that I was resistance to electricity, so I pretend to to be hurt and played dead. Some how, rubble and corpses just stack on onto me, and everything became dark. I waited, and waited and waited for what it seemed like an eternity, and I decided to push everything aside.
And what I saw around me was an utopia. I couldn't believe my eyes. The air looked clean, there were flying cars, buildings were as shiny as a mirror which stood tall in the skies. It was the same place, just better.
Did what I fear do this? Was it just a dream within a dream?
And then I woke up.

This dream made me wonder, are humans made to be selfish? Made to protect their own lives only? I was told many times before not to be self centered, not to just think there is only me, and no other. I rectify myself of that long ago, but is it human nature to just run from something we think we can't defeat? That it will cost our lives trying? To sacrifice your friends just so you can live another day? My friend who told me that, is still self centered in his own way. Maybe it is human to be selfish, especially in that current situation, and it is difficult not to think it that way.
Sometimes what you fear might be something not as horrible as you imagine, but you never gave it a chance to do so, so you will never know, forever living in the same suspicion of what you comprehended from one's self-acclaimed assumptions.

Well that was from my dream. Another thing I want to bring about is me being serious. If you want to get a point straight into my thick skull, please show that you are serious in doing so, don't try to make jokes, I won't register that. You want to shot me in anyway possible, sure, but I take it that you are joking and not making a serious comment, because everyone shots me in general, and I take being shot at as a joke if the tone isn't right to begin with. If you love shooting me, especially Brandon, Kai Feng, Alvin and anyone else in general, don't expect me to take anything in, because I'm too used to being shot at. You want to shot me and get it in my head, show some seriousness, and don't laugh about it.

I Can Understand People's Personality, But Not Many Can Understand Mine.

Understanding Impracticality

Thank God Its Friday, Because It Was A Good Friday

Wonder did god punish Rebbecca Black for that awful song 'Friday' that made to lyrical sense.
Just kidding, not being lyrically incline is bad enough.

We shouldn't spite about Friday.

Why is that my good friend?

Because its Good Friday!!!

Yay! It's Good Friday! Lets sing the I'm A Map Song!!!

*Everyone else stuns*

That's too much Dora The Explorer for me.

Anyway, the moral of the story today is Dora brainwashes kids to think maps and monkeys can speak English, and that today, or yesterday, was Good Friday. Well, woke up feeling all good and happy, maybe because of the review over my little incident, have a feeling she still is avoiding me in all ways possible. Ah, oh well. Found out that my is taking a hell load of time to load up, so maybe its time for some software maintenance. Yet let not fret, I have been invited to go out at 7PM to orchard to lekpah. Awesome, and I got to buy new stuff, and glasses! With my dad and sis! Went to drink after having an expensive dinner at Fish & Co. And painful it was, paying for it I mean.
Took a trip around city, and had fun. Drank some cocktails at Yi Lin's work place, where she made for us personally. I had a Woo Woo, and from what I discovered, lime and apple juice covers up a lot for the vodka taste, and how awesome is that :D
Left early to catch the last train and last bus.

My sentiments exactly, and if I'm not wrong, the relationship will be like the shot clip 'Strangers, Again', or maybe faster than that, because I believe you won't fully understand.

I love short clips.

Don't Know What You Are Thinking, But If I Wanted To Bother, I Might.

Next Friday

When It Comes Clear, I Found My Resolve

It's not worth the wait. You might be all of that which I thought about, but I found out that something which you are missing. 


You think she is all that, you think she is worth it, but after watching this 15 minute short clip 'The Crush', I realize, girls are 'stupid', and by that, it means they don't have the maturity and right thought to settle a problem in which that clears up misunderstandings, assumptions and the bullshit you have been through.
I have been through a lot of crap in 18 years of my life, until the time I realize, just today, why I myself fail. Many factors is based on me, but I just found out, most of the girls I failed at and once liked, did not have that maturity I have been looking for, and I just figured that out few minutes ago. Maybe now, that is what I look into someone if I'm intercepting for a kill. And throughout that amount of girls I once like so much, only one had the maturity to clear up the nonsense, and I found out, she was the only one who actually made me hit rock bottom after trying to go for her and fail. Yet, through that, I gained the most painful experience, but learnt plentiful from there. And out of all the rest, she is still a good friend to me :D

So I decided to finally let go, but, that still doesn't mean I don't want to be your friend, because from everyone you know in your life, you will learn something from them, how big or insignificant, it is still experience.
I just learnt that from you, and I want to give a great gratitude to you and believe we all can let bygones be bygones, start a new fresh as good friends. And to the other guy, who from what I heard lied to me, go for it my friend. You will and forever stay a good friend to me, you help me in many things in both past and present. I forgave and let go of any unhappiness and jealousy, because there is no point being sulky over something and regret it later. Feelings are impermanent, so rather realize it now then later.

And thanks loads to the people who drank with me today, really helped me to think that through, as well as that short clip.

Rescuing Sorrows

We Never Lost, We Had Always Won

Well, same pattern? Not so sure. So I just not going to assume.

I have seen many things and what I saw within LSCT today, was the bonds we shared with everyone in FOC for that short amount of time. How close we were to each other, how we have tighten the strings intertwine with one another.

I said this in many places, but it officially has to be on my blog:
LSCT lost? 
No, LSCT is unbeatable, in terms of cheers, in terms of friends, in terms of family. What we did not achieve, we became stronger, and that will help us in the future, both in LSCT and next year's D4F. Winning? It wouldn't be if no one is together to celebrate that victory. Losing? It wouldn't be if everyone celebrates our best efforts. And from what I saw, we never lost, we had always won from the start. 
People, we will be back, and better than ever, as one family :D


And yes we are Awesome FYI. 


More Than Winning

So What Should I Think?

My previous post was about assumption, and assume that I got things logically planned out, but it isn't to what I think it was, or is it?
The thing is, always, whenever I feel down in that way, while blogging or after blogging, she will text me back the message I have long waited for, and she just did. Maybe thats her style, or maybe its done on purpose.I feel bad yet happy, and totally confuse, but, I feel more bad by doubting than having more trust in my friend. I shouldn't have done that. What type of friend doesn't trust their companions? I feel ashame, and am I worth being your friend by saying things about you that way? I just feel horrible.

I do have self-awareness, but it comes at the wrong time.

Yet, I feel that there is another quality inside you: you will not forget about the friends you love and you will always make an effort to make them happy, if it is in your means to do so.
For me to be happy is for me to know the truth, but that has to wait, especially now. The time will come for the truth to be told, but as for now, I stay optimistic, hoping.

I'm Sorry

Impulsion, Assumption and Optimism On The Half

To some, blogging is a form of escaping reality, but to me, it bring me back to what is happening, and actually provides me time to logic out my feelings. Through understanding comes happiness. 

Sometimes, you do things without thinking, its just suddenly, your 'heart', which can be termed as your sub-conscious wantings, just decide for you what to carry out before thinking that 'damn, that was a bad idea'. However, even through that time of impulse, before, during and/or after, give it some thought: Were you aware of what you did? 

If you are now, what are you going to do to rectify it if it was a bad decision? And really, be aware of it as soon as possible, cause the longer you drag, people tend to assume. 

And the next thing is about assumption. I have repeated this to myself and to other many, many times: Do not assume, it just make an ass out of you and me. 

And it does, because at many of times, we assume things without giving it much thought about it, and why we don't give that much thought? Simple, because of once's selfishness. Would it be fair if I assume that Dick is going out with Henry without any proof or evidence to back you up? No, but you will think it that way because you think thats is not my problem. It will become your problem if you have no evidence and spread these things on impulse. Everyone does it, due do lack of self-awareness. To clear things up, ask directly from the source, or, do not assume at all if you have nothing to support yourself with. 

And through all of these problems and politics, you calm down and think, maybe this will end soon, maybe solving this would not be a problem, and there kicks in the optimistic side of you. However much you want to be optimistic, prepare for the worst outcome as well, because of the endless possibilities that this world has to offer, whether bad or good, any bullshit can occur. Optimism can only last you that long, and at certain point, you might feel like giving up, as you see the current situation changing, and all that you felt happy for turns too tears. That is one option. Another option is to stay strong to that believe, hoping on what is possibly false hope, until it actually happens, or you hit rock bottom if it doesn't. The last option, stay optimistic, but be aware of the possibility it doesn't turn out the way you want it and forgo what was the past after learning from its mistakes. 

Optimism, it gives you a slight sense of joy every now and then, but the outcome may kill you, in a both happy and sad manner. 

And I just found out there is a cycle to all this. Impulse was due to Assumption. Through Assumption, comes Impulsiveness. Assumption leads to Optimism. If Optimistic you did not get what you want, that Impulse and Assumption returns.

All in all, the moral is to be self-aware of what you are doing, and why you are doing this. Is it the right thing or the wrong thing to do?

Well, I hoped she would have messaged back, and I got a feeling that what she said earlier on was an excuse to cover up what I already know. I want to get this clear once and for all, but not at such a shot period of time after getting to know her better, it would kill our friendship. If this is true, that you are doing this for the sake of making me feel happy, that is a foolish thing to do, and lying isn't going to help. But if it comes true from the heart then that good. I stay optimistic, hoping that is true. Yet I'm aware of the worst outcome possible. When I got to know you better, then I had a liking over you, and it wasn't at first sight: you have a nice personality, a nice smile, a caring and gentle girl, especially towards animals, whenever you get shot at you don't take it to heart and continue to joke along with others, and a nice companion to talk to about anything, if I and you can find the time to meet. 

Yet, if the outcome was what I predicted to be that bad, that just spoil my image of you, but, I believe that all these qualities are inside you, but its just not portraying it to me. 

However, I'm self-aware of my actions and limits now, but how about you, give it a thought. 

Blogging isn't running away, but self-realization. through it I can understand my problems better, and from there know what to do, plus I make it open to the public so as to not hide anything, because one's secrets can kill an entire population mentally and emotionally, rather than killing a single person. If that one person understands, then I have met an individual who can think at or even better than my level of intellect. 

I found out that usually in the first half of the year, that is where the most problems comes occur. 

Understanding Y

How do you overcome awkward silence?

Awkward silence is never an easy thing to overcome, especially if both party doesn't see eye to eye. An easy way is through friends. If you have a friend who is close to that individual, and whom you are on good terms with, your friend may provide some help to ease the tension, because 1-on-1 talks are never easy. That way, both parties will be able to feel at ease because there is someone else who they are close too to chat and relay a message.
The hard way, however, is just by simply understanding why this happen, just let go of whatever causes that awkward silence, and bring up your guts to talk to the other party. This is not easy because not many people have the understanding to forgive and let go of past events.
However, this is impermanent, as long as you make an effort to overcome it, it will disappear faster. Sometimes, it just takes time before that awkward silence goes away, especially when only one side is trying to overcome it.

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

Thinking, Playing and I Owned You MSN

Well, sometimes, I feel, you are avoiding me for the wrong reasons. Maybe because of the recent incident, and kinda got this feeling that he won't keep his mouth shut. I just want to be clear that all I want is to maintain that friendship I had before. If you are awkward, tell me, and I'll give you some alone time, because I'm not a person who will hold a grudge and let petty matters affect that of what I cherish. What is against my morals, I will not do. If you really can't be friends tell me. I don't want to be a stupid asshole.

Well, just clearing my mind of what I said above, I just received a message, and now I think otherwise, yet I think its just coincident, I'm confused, but nevertheless happy.

Went to explore block 73, had a awesome time at dance4fund practice, learning the dance and playing with the boxing gloves in the meeting room. Went to eat dinner at ChopChop with KF, CY, Alvin and 2 other freshies: Georgina and Melinda. Chunli also came to ChopChop to eat, as well as Laz from Blanka. Had a drink with Laz and Alvin before going home.

Screw MSN and the internet. Gave me so much trouble and crap. I couldn't login to MSN because of my contact list giving me a hell lot of problems, yet the stupid internet kept telling me the wrong information. Assholes. In the end, the MSN help center help me solved it, so how now? Which account should I use? Ah fuck it. I just owned MSN and you know it. (Glen > MSN)

Supper At Anywhere Does Wonders

(Danial was telling us a ghost story, and then we went for a toilet break)
(Calvin, Chelston and me was in the toilet with another random dude)
Calvin walks into cubical and says: Chelston?
Chelston: What thing?
Calvin: Wait for me in the toilet.
Me: WTH, why you need him in the toilet?
Chelston: Because I scared the light will turn off one by one.
Chelston and Me: LOLZ.

Supper with friends always makes me feel better :D

So I had two suppers, one mentioned earlier, the other today morning at Popeye's, with my freshies and Danial Joseph. Freshies there include Calvin, JingYi, Hayden and Chelston. It was awesome spending the night looking for power plugs, traveling the 3 terminals, making a fool out of ourselves, singing, dancing, telling stories and lame jokes. It made me happy! I love you guys man, all the laughter we shared. Although I took a one hour nap, I woke up the time Zen Hann arrived at the airport. We say our good byes with his buddies and some of the Jeanies who did not taunt the night (Nicholas, Yizhen, Yumni) and Daneal. Took the nice bus service, 27 back home.

I thought of many things on the bus, but not going to post it here. Logic is pwnz0r, especially when you are not irrational, not being rash in your thinking, not assuming things in your way, and when you are high on redbull.

Note to self: Consume more dosage of redbull, at the right time and place 

And now I think foresight is a great thing, who knew?

Logical Foresight Wins

Taunting the Airport, So Gangsta!

I found out how awesome my friends are, how they help me out in times of need. My emo-ness has been voided. Epic-ness.
Well, in that short amount of time I emo-ed at home, I packed my bag, and what did you know? Invitation to Scoops by Brandon, so I rushed down to Thomson Road for that. Enjoyed my time there with YuHan, WeiLer, KF, Alvin and Brandon. Monopoly Deal for the win, and 5 scoop Ice cream all the way :D

Time was short but enjoyable, I'm my normal self again thanks to logic and awesome pals. Now taunting the night with my freshies at Changi Airport terminal 3. Coolness to the max. I think it will be awesome here :D

Short-Termed, Both This Feeling And Yours

Pawnz0r

A Trap Which I Fell For, A Trap Where My Confidence Deters

Through all the times, I have been thinking, through all the times I plan, but what I did was to no avail, cause there was nothing there anymore. Like my friend once said "You have foresight", and sometimes, I wish my foresight was wrong. Never in my life I wished it was wrong, until now. Logic anyways seems correct, and sometimes I wish it wasn't, but I can't help myself to think logical. No wonder he did not feel threaten, because there was no threat in the first place. Yet, were all this planned by them? Is this a joke to them? I will never know, and I'll never find out. I hate being given false hope, and I always blame others for doing that to me, but instead its my fault for giving me such hope. I don't know how his feelings developed, but the feelings I developed was true, and now it hurts so bad. My pride of being a man has been destroyed by him, while I did not destroy his. I even thought about how not to affect him, but instead affected myself. Why couldn't you tell me earlier before my feelings developed?
Fate is such a cruel thing, but that is life, I always think that being the good guy was fine, but maybe I'm just to good to bully.
Well, I don't think I'll be going for anyone else for the time being, seeing the title. Yet, I can't let petty things forgo a friendship on both sides.
It will be hard to try and be myself again, but thats my karma.
I tried and tried the many times I tried, so just try harder next time, if there is even one.
No matter what, I will thank them for what they have did, and leave what I should has left behind: Nothing happened.

Nevertheless, I'm strong, I'm experienced, I can let it go.

Heartwenching Lies
Heartwenching Denial

What's the biggest risk you've ever taken? Are you glad you took it or do you regret it?

Just today, I gave up on something just for my friend, and I'm unsure about being glad or regretting it

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

We Gave It A Try, But Failing Is A Part Of Life

I had Diploma plus Chemistry today, going through the things which we were uncertain about. Went to the gym after, and had an awesome performance rehearsal for our seniors. They loved it, I think. But now we go to serious business.

We were told about our main committee positions for our current batch, and after much consideration, I decided that I want to become Vice President of LSCT Society. Although some might not think I'll be fit for the job, but I'm willing to give back what LSCT Society has given to me: my commitment for their experience. I even planned out of using a schedule booklet to take track of my daily events and write out a rulebook to hand down to my future Vice President after my 2 years of presidency, if I get the job that is. Even if I feel ready for  whatever that comes at me, I'm still afraid that I'll let them down. I have the will and heart to learn from my fellow peers and seniors, and if I have the heart, there is no stopping me from completing my task, even if it takes 2 years.

But, even if I don't get to be Vice President, I will still stay committed to do whatever I can contribute back to Society, even if it is a photographer, even if I don't get CCA points.

After the briefing, there was a session called Trashed Talk, where it is a tradition in LSCT to voice it out your unhappiness towards others. To me, in my opinion, the TT session was not all that successful. Encouraging words are nice, but it is because of that, you cannot learn from your mistakes. Due to encouragement, it pulls you even higher before you can fall an understand your mistake. There was laughing here and there, thinking that what we were saying is a joke. The seriousness isn't there, and the session was to no avail, it only help out the minority. And I feel that not everything everyone wanted to say came out.
Many are very emotional people, therefore being more reserve, but what is the point of having all that unhappiness and uncertainty building up inside? If we want to Trash Talk, we really must, or its will be redundant.

This is a side note, but I have notice that when we encounter a common enemy, we will all bond up together to face that person. An example is the Ryu guy who hits girls.

Contemplations Rising

What qualities do you look for when you're dating someone?

Fun to be with and caring, but if you love someone, even their bad points can be their qualities, and if they love you back, they are willing to try and change their bad points :D

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

Now There Is A Title: IKEA With A Little Love

Well, my post have been title-less since god knows when, but since my blog layout has change, there will be titles given to each post.

Pictures actually attracts readers, but I don't have to do that, I don't think that there is any point in doing so.

Spent an awesome time with ChunLi today, LAN for 3 hours, and then dinner, with a few tricks up our sleeves after that. Thanks CY for inviting me to the outing, appreciated it

I found out that IKEA is an ideal spot for free photoshoots and great food.

Seem that blogging and spilling the beans to my friends really paid off, my mind is off her already, but another comes into the picture. Love, its a weird thing, and it always is. Crushes is also known as puppy love, where you love something for just the outer appearance. Eh, I'll get over it again, eventually. My mental state of mind has overcome obstacles only a few have endured and survive to tell the tale.
Too over-exaggerated? I agree.

Well, thats all I think, nothing much for today, but a blog makeover.

Misused Surroundings

I woke up wondering about the things I have to do today, and there is a whole lot to do.

Even though I feel that FOC is over and I'm having my freedom now, I still feel stress out. 

I'm not the type of person that can sit down quietly and do my homework, I have to play and have fun, enjoy the things I want to do, and avoiding the things I need to do. 

Yet I only can avoid it for that long. I'm planning to do my work today, if I can settle myself down to do it. 

For myself, I learnt that I can discipline myself if I do not break out of the routine of doing work. Once I do that, it stacks up for me. I think others feel the same too. That's why I need a break, even though I don't like to stay at home, I have to. For the sake of my qualifications. I have to force myself to get things done by today, or so someone kill help me. 

Another thing on my mine is Crushes. Its infectious. I was crushing on this girl in FOC, however, to my utter disappointment, she was reeled in by someone else, and I'm guessing it has been damn long. Since its a crush, I should be able to let it go easily? 

Wrong. 

Somehow, the more I try, the more I can't stop thinking about her. I hope there is a bad side to her, which will make me think twice, and at the most be her good friend, or something like that. My friends, from what they told me, to just go for it. 

'If the wedding ring isn't on, its not off-limits' a friend said. 

'At least you should uphold your morals' another friend responded.

If I can win a losing battle, it will be one of my biggest achievement which will be told to my children and grand-children, and so fore. Looking at the odds, losing this will just be thrown into the bin of many failures. I thought through failures come success? 

Maybe I have not come through enough failures to to know right from wrong, to lead me to what I yearn. 

I know of one thing, I'm no expert when it comes to matters of the heart, especially once's self. It Always hurts when you fail at it, but you have no other choice but to stand up on your two feet and reinforce your defenses. It will still hurt every single time you try, but I'll stay strong. 

Now what is my brain is saying? 

Well, I can't spoil their relationship, it would be against my morals. All I can do is make friends and wait, like being a sitting duck. Either I'll live happily ever after, or just get shot down by the hunter, most probably the lateral. 

Well, signing off here, going to take a bath and do what I need to do today. 

Itchy Itchy

Well, the week has been running fast, 2-3 weeks ago, I went for loft, and I had a belated birthday celebration there. A bottle of Bacardi down in one night was my birthday present. Missed training, did proposals, painted the banner, and last 5 days ago, FOC happened. It was tough, tears shed, pumping completed, different feelings for everyone, for the good or bad. Yet we must expect this, we must understand, we must support, and thats what makes a family: understanding, love, support for one another.

FOC has been fun. Seeing all those freshies happy, seeing a smile on their face, the enthusiasm in their cheer, Everything was worth it. And now, we SGLs, write our own story, continue what the AGLs now has been writing for us.

As a game master, my first game felt like a let down, I felt extremely bad for the freshies I was leading, but this did not pull me down, and it just strive me to do better for my next game, and it was perfect. Everyone was very into the game, and the cheers and smiles on their faces, satisfying.

There is however, someone that stole my eyes, but nevertheless, that someone has strings tied, for very long, so being a friend to me is fine. Well, life never let you get your way, but still, make whatever you have of your life the way you want it. If Asians girls were just easier to approach than Americans, men like us would not have such a problem. Well, time will tell, you only can cling on that tread of hope for that long.

I learnt so much during FOC, many things which I haven't, but thats not the end, I still have a lifetime to learn more, and I'm keen on doing it. Maybe try something new, like rap.

Least Unexpected