Thinking, Playing and I Owned You MSN

Well, sometimes, I feel, you are avoiding me for the wrong reasons. Maybe because of the recent incident, and kinda got this feeling that he won't keep his mouth shut. I just want to be clear that all I want is to maintain that friendship I had before. If you are awkward, tell me, and I'll give you some alone time, because I'm not a person who will hold a grudge and let petty matters affect that of what I cherish. What is against my morals, I will not do. If you really can't be friends tell me. I don't want to be a stupid asshole.

Well, just clearing my mind of what I said above, I just received a message, and now I think otherwise, yet I think its just coincident, I'm confused, but nevertheless happy.

Went to explore block 73, had a awesome time at dance4fund practice, learning the dance and playing with the boxing gloves in the meeting room. Went to eat dinner at ChopChop with KF, CY, Alvin and 2 other freshies: Georgina and Melinda. Chunli also came to ChopChop to eat, as well as Laz from Blanka. Had a drink with Laz and Alvin before going home.

Screw MSN and the internet. Gave me so much trouble and crap. I couldn't login to MSN because of my contact list giving me a hell lot of problems, yet the stupid internet kept telling me the wrong information. Assholes. In the end, the MSN help center help me solved it, so how now? Which account should I use? Ah fuck it. I just owned MSN and you know it. (Glen > MSN)

Supper At Anywhere Does Wonders

(Danial was telling us a ghost story, and then we went for a toilet break)
(Calvin, Chelston and me was in the toilet with another random dude)
Calvin walks into cubical and says: Chelston?
Chelston: What thing?
Calvin: Wait for me in the toilet.
Me: WTH, why you need him in the toilet?
Chelston: Because I scared the light will turn off one by one.
Chelston and Me: LOLZ.

Supper with friends always makes me feel better :D

So I had two suppers, one mentioned earlier, the other today morning at Popeye's, with my freshies and Danial Joseph. Freshies there include Calvin, JingYi, Hayden and Chelston. It was awesome spending the night looking for power plugs, traveling the 3 terminals, making a fool out of ourselves, singing, dancing, telling stories and lame jokes. It made me happy! I love you guys man, all the laughter we shared. Although I took a one hour nap, I woke up the time Zen Hann arrived at the airport. We say our good byes with his buddies and some of the Jeanies who did not taunt the night (Nicholas, Yizhen, Yumni) and Daneal. Took the nice bus service, 27 back home.

I thought of many things on the bus, but not going to post it here. Logic is pwnz0r, especially when you are not irrational, not being rash in your thinking, not assuming things in your way, and when you are high on redbull.

Note to self: Consume more dosage of redbull, at the right time and place 

And now I think foresight is a great thing, who knew?

Logical Foresight Wins

Taunting the Airport, So Gangsta!

I found out how awesome my friends are, how they help me out in times of need. My emo-ness has been voided. Epic-ness.
Well, in that short amount of time I emo-ed at home, I packed my bag, and what did you know? Invitation to Scoops by Brandon, so I rushed down to Thomson Road for that. Enjoyed my time there with YuHan, WeiLer, KF, Alvin and Brandon. Monopoly Deal for the win, and 5 scoop Ice cream all the way :D

Time was short but enjoyable, I'm my normal self again thanks to logic and awesome pals. Now taunting the night with my freshies at Changi Airport terminal 3. Coolness to the max. I think it will be awesome here :D

Short-Termed, Both This Feeling And Yours

Pawnz0r

A Trap Which I Fell For, A Trap Where My Confidence Deters

Through all the times, I have been thinking, through all the times I plan, but what I did was to no avail, cause there was nothing there anymore. Like my friend once said "You have foresight", and sometimes, I wish my foresight was wrong. Never in my life I wished it was wrong, until now. Logic anyways seems correct, and sometimes I wish it wasn't, but I can't help myself to think logical. No wonder he did not feel threaten, because there was no threat in the first place. Yet, were all this planned by them? Is this a joke to them? I will never know, and I'll never find out. I hate being given false hope, and I always blame others for doing that to me, but instead its my fault for giving me such hope. I don't know how his feelings developed, but the feelings I developed was true, and now it hurts so bad. My pride of being a man has been destroyed by him, while I did not destroy his. I even thought about how not to affect him, but instead affected myself. Why couldn't you tell me earlier before my feelings developed?
Fate is such a cruel thing, but that is life, I always think that being the good guy was fine, but maybe I'm just to good to bully.
Well, I don't think I'll be going for anyone else for the time being, seeing the title. Yet, I can't let petty things forgo a friendship on both sides.
It will be hard to try and be myself again, but thats my karma.
I tried and tried the many times I tried, so just try harder next time, if there is even one.
No matter what, I will thank them for what they have did, and leave what I should has left behind: Nothing happened.

Nevertheless, I'm strong, I'm experienced, I can let it go.

Heartwenching Lies
Heartwenching Denial

What's the biggest risk you've ever taken? Are you glad you took it or do you regret it?

Just today, I gave up on something just for my friend, and I'm unsure about being glad or regretting it

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

We Gave It A Try, But Failing Is A Part Of Life

I had Diploma plus Chemistry today, going through the things which we were uncertain about. Went to the gym after, and had an awesome performance rehearsal for our seniors. They loved it, I think. But now we go to serious business.

We were told about our main committee positions for our current batch, and after much consideration, I decided that I want to become Vice President of LSCT Society. Although some might not think I'll be fit for the job, but I'm willing to give back what LSCT Society has given to me: my commitment for their experience. I even planned out of using a schedule booklet to take track of my daily events and write out a rulebook to hand down to my future Vice President after my 2 years of presidency, if I get the job that is. Even if I feel ready for  whatever that comes at me, I'm still afraid that I'll let them down. I have the will and heart to learn from my fellow peers and seniors, and if I have the heart, there is no stopping me from completing my task, even if it takes 2 years.

But, even if I don't get to be Vice President, I will still stay committed to do whatever I can contribute back to Society, even if it is a photographer, even if I don't get CCA points.

After the briefing, there was a session called Trashed Talk, where it is a tradition in LSCT to voice it out your unhappiness towards others. To me, in my opinion, the TT session was not all that successful. Encouraging words are nice, but it is because of that, you cannot learn from your mistakes. Due to encouragement, it pulls you even higher before you can fall an understand your mistake. There was laughing here and there, thinking that what we were saying is a joke. The seriousness isn't there, and the session was to no avail, it only help out the minority. And I feel that not everything everyone wanted to say came out.
Many are very emotional people, therefore being more reserve, but what is the point of having all that unhappiness and uncertainty building up inside? If we want to Trash Talk, we really must, or its will be redundant.

This is a side note, but I have notice that when we encounter a common enemy, we will all bond up together to face that person. An example is the Ryu guy who hits girls.

Contemplations Rising

What qualities do you look for when you're dating someone?

Fun to be with and caring, but if you love someone, even their bad points can be their qualities, and if they love you back, they are willing to try and change their bad points :D

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

Now There Is A Title: IKEA With A Little Love

Well, my post have been title-less since god knows when, but since my blog layout has change, there will be titles given to each post.

Pictures actually attracts readers, but I don't have to do that, I don't think that there is any point in doing so.

Spent an awesome time with ChunLi today, LAN for 3 hours, and then dinner, with a few tricks up our sleeves after that. Thanks CY for inviting me to the outing, appreciated it

I found out that IKEA is an ideal spot for free photoshoots and great food.

Seem that blogging and spilling the beans to my friends really paid off, my mind is off her already, but another comes into the picture. Love, its a weird thing, and it always is. Crushes is also known as puppy love, where you love something for just the outer appearance. Eh, I'll get over it again, eventually. My mental state of mind has overcome obstacles only a few have endured and survive to tell the tale.
Too over-exaggerated? I agree.

Well, thats all I think, nothing much for today, but a blog makeover.

Misused Surroundings

I woke up wondering about the things I have to do today, and there is a whole lot to do.

Even though I feel that FOC is over and I'm having my freedom now, I still feel stress out. 

I'm not the type of person that can sit down quietly and do my homework, I have to play and have fun, enjoy the things I want to do, and avoiding the things I need to do. 

Yet I only can avoid it for that long. I'm planning to do my work today, if I can settle myself down to do it. 

For myself, I learnt that I can discipline myself if I do not break out of the routine of doing work. Once I do that, it stacks up for me. I think others feel the same too. That's why I need a break, even though I don't like to stay at home, I have to. For the sake of my qualifications. I have to force myself to get things done by today, or so someone kill help me. 

Another thing on my mine is Crushes. Its infectious. I was crushing on this girl in FOC, however, to my utter disappointment, she was reeled in by someone else, and I'm guessing it has been damn long. Since its a crush, I should be able to let it go easily? 

Wrong. 

Somehow, the more I try, the more I can't stop thinking about her. I hope there is a bad side to her, which will make me think twice, and at the most be her good friend, or something like that. My friends, from what they told me, to just go for it. 

'If the wedding ring isn't on, its not off-limits' a friend said. 

'At least you should uphold your morals' another friend responded.

If I can win a losing battle, it will be one of my biggest achievement which will be told to my children and grand-children, and so fore. Looking at the odds, losing this will just be thrown into the bin of many failures. I thought through failures come success? 

Maybe I have not come through enough failures to to know right from wrong, to lead me to what I yearn. 

I know of one thing, I'm no expert when it comes to matters of the heart, especially once's self. It Always hurts when you fail at it, but you have no other choice but to stand up on your two feet and reinforce your defenses. It will still hurt every single time you try, but I'll stay strong. 

Now what is my brain is saying? 

Well, I can't spoil their relationship, it would be against my morals. All I can do is make friends and wait, like being a sitting duck. Either I'll live happily ever after, or just get shot down by the hunter, most probably the lateral. 

Well, signing off here, going to take a bath and do what I need to do today. 

Itchy Itchy

Well, the week has been running fast, 2-3 weeks ago, I went for loft, and I had a belated birthday celebration there. A bottle of Bacardi down in one night was my birthday present. Missed training, did proposals, painted the banner, and last 5 days ago, FOC happened. It was tough, tears shed, pumping completed, different feelings for everyone, for the good or bad. Yet we must expect this, we must understand, we must support, and thats what makes a family: understanding, love, support for one another.

FOC has been fun. Seeing all those freshies happy, seeing a smile on their face, the enthusiasm in their cheer, Everything was worth it. And now, we SGLs, write our own story, continue what the AGLs now has been writing for us.

As a game master, my first game felt like a let down, I felt extremely bad for the freshies I was leading, but this did not pull me down, and it just strive me to do better for my next game, and it was perfect. Everyone was very into the game, and the cheers and smiles on their faces, satisfying.

There is however, someone that stole my eyes, but nevertheless, that someone has strings tied, for very long, so being a friend to me is fine. Well, life never let you get your way, but still, make whatever you have of your life the way you want it. If Asians girls were just easier to approach than Americans, men like us would not have such a problem. Well, time will tell, you only can cling on that tread of hope for that long.

I learnt so much during FOC, many things which I haven't, but thats not the end, I still have a lifetime to learn more, and I'm keen on doing it. Maybe try something new, like rap.

Least Unexpected