Taunting the Airport, So Gangsta!

I found out how awesome my friends are, how they help me out in times of need. My emo-ness has been voided. Epic-ness.
Well, in that short amount of time I emo-ed at home, I packed my bag, and what did you know? Invitation to Scoops by Brandon, so I rushed down to Thomson Road for that. Enjoyed my time there with YuHan, WeiLer, KF, Alvin and Brandon. Monopoly Deal for the win, and 5 scoop Ice cream all the way :D

Time was short but enjoyable, I'm my normal self again thanks to logic and awesome pals. Now taunting the night with my freshies at Changi Airport terminal 3. Coolness to the max. I think it will be awesome here :D

Short-Termed, Both This Feeling And Yours

Pawnz0r

A Trap Which I Fell For, A Trap Where My Confidence Deters

Through all the times, I have been thinking, through all the times I plan, but what I did was to no avail, cause there was nothing there anymore. Like my friend once said "You have foresight", and sometimes, I wish my foresight was wrong. Never in my life I wished it was wrong, until now. Logic anyways seems correct, and sometimes I wish it wasn't, but I can't help myself to think logical. No wonder he did not feel threaten, because there was no threat in the first place. Yet, were all this planned by them? Is this a joke to them? I will never know, and I'll never find out. I hate being given false hope, and I always blame others for doing that to me, but instead its my fault for giving me such hope. I don't know how his feelings developed, but the feelings I developed was true, and now it hurts so bad. My pride of being a man has been destroyed by him, while I did not destroy his. I even thought about how not to affect him, but instead affected myself. Why couldn't you tell me earlier before my feelings developed?
Fate is such a cruel thing, but that is life, I always think that being the good guy was fine, but maybe I'm just to good to bully.
Well, I don't think I'll be going for anyone else for the time being, seeing the title. Yet, I can't let petty things forgo a friendship on both sides.
It will be hard to try and be myself again, but thats my karma.
I tried and tried the many times I tried, so just try harder next time, if there is even one.
No matter what, I will thank them for what they have did, and leave what I should has left behind: Nothing happened.

Nevertheless, I'm strong, I'm experienced, I can let it go.

Heartwenching Lies
Heartwenching Denial

What's the biggest risk you've ever taken? Are you glad you took it or do you regret it?

Just today, I gave up on something just for my friend, and I'm unsure about being glad or regretting it

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

We Gave It A Try, But Failing Is A Part Of Life

I had Diploma plus Chemistry today, going through the things which we were uncertain about. Went to the gym after, and had an awesome performance rehearsal for our seniors. They loved it, I think. But now we go to serious business.

We were told about our main committee positions for our current batch, and after much consideration, I decided that I want to become Vice President of LSCT Society. Although some might not think I'll be fit for the job, but I'm willing to give back what LSCT Society has given to me: my commitment for their experience. I even planned out of using a schedule booklet to take track of my daily events and write out a rulebook to hand down to my future Vice President after my 2 years of presidency, if I get the job that is. Even if I feel ready for  whatever that comes at me, I'm still afraid that I'll let them down. I have the will and heart to learn from my fellow peers and seniors, and if I have the heart, there is no stopping me from completing my task, even if it takes 2 years.

But, even if I don't get to be Vice President, I will still stay committed to do whatever I can contribute back to Society, even if it is a photographer, even if I don't get CCA points.

After the briefing, there was a session called Trashed Talk, where it is a tradition in LSCT to voice it out your unhappiness towards others. To me, in my opinion, the TT session was not all that successful. Encouraging words are nice, but it is because of that, you cannot learn from your mistakes. Due to encouragement, it pulls you even higher before you can fall an understand your mistake. There was laughing here and there, thinking that what we were saying is a joke. The seriousness isn't there, and the session was to no avail, it only help out the minority. And I feel that not everything everyone wanted to say came out.
Many are very emotional people, therefore being more reserve, but what is the point of having all that unhappiness and uncertainty building up inside? If we want to Trash Talk, we really must, or its will be redundant.

This is a side note, but I have notice that when we encounter a common enemy, we will all bond up together to face that person. An example is the Ryu guy who hits girls.

Contemplations Rising

What qualities do you look for when you're dating someone?

Fun to be with and caring, but if you love someone, even their bad points can be their qualities, and if they love you back, they are willing to try and change their bad points :D

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

Now There Is A Title: IKEA With A Little Love

Well, my post have been title-less since god knows when, but since my blog layout has change, there will be titles given to each post.

Pictures actually attracts readers, but I don't have to do that, I don't think that there is any point in doing so.

Spent an awesome time with ChunLi today, LAN for 3 hours, and then dinner, with a few tricks up our sleeves after that. Thanks CY for inviting me to the outing, appreciated it

I found out that IKEA is an ideal spot for free photoshoots and great food.

Seem that blogging and spilling the beans to my friends really paid off, my mind is off her already, but another comes into the picture. Love, its a weird thing, and it always is. Crushes is also known as puppy love, where you love something for just the outer appearance. Eh, I'll get over it again, eventually. My mental state of mind has overcome obstacles only a few have endured and survive to tell the tale.
Too over-exaggerated? I agree.

Well, thats all I think, nothing much for today, but a blog makeover.

Misused Surroundings

I woke up wondering about the things I have to do today, and there is a whole lot to do.

Even though I feel that FOC is over and I'm having my freedom now, I still feel stress out. 

I'm not the type of person that can sit down quietly and do my homework, I have to play and have fun, enjoy the things I want to do, and avoiding the things I need to do. 

Yet I only can avoid it for that long. I'm planning to do my work today, if I can settle myself down to do it. 

For myself, I learnt that I can discipline myself if I do not break out of the routine of doing work. Once I do that, it stacks up for me. I think others feel the same too. That's why I need a break, even though I don't like to stay at home, I have to. For the sake of my qualifications. I have to force myself to get things done by today, or so someone kill help me. 

Another thing on my mine is Crushes. Its infectious. I was crushing on this girl in FOC, however, to my utter disappointment, she was reeled in by someone else, and I'm guessing it has been damn long. Since its a crush, I should be able to let it go easily? 

Wrong. 

Somehow, the more I try, the more I can't stop thinking about her. I hope there is a bad side to her, which will make me think twice, and at the most be her good friend, or something like that. My friends, from what they told me, to just go for it. 

'If the wedding ring isn't on, its not off-limits' a friend said. 

'At least you should uphold your morals' another friend responded.

If I can win a losing battle, it will be one of my biggest achievement which will be told to my children and grand-children, and so fore. Looking at the odds, losing this will just be thrown into the bin of many failures. I thought through failures come success? 

Maybe I have not come through enough failures to to know right from wrong, to lead me to what I yearn. 

I know of one thing, I'm no expert when it comes to matters of the heart, especially once's self. It Always hurts when you fail at it, but you have no other choice but to stand up on your two feet and reinforce your defenses. It will still hurt every single time you try, but I'll stay strong. 

Now what is my brain is saying? 

Well, I can't spoil their relationship, it would be against my morals. All I can do is make friends and wait, like being a sitting duck. Either I'll live happily ever after, or just get shot down by the hunter, most probably the lateral. 

Well, signing off here, going to take a bath and do what I need to do today. 

Itchy Itchy

Well, the week has been running fast, 2-3 weeks ago, I went for loft, and I had a belated birthday celebration there. A bottle of Bacardi down in one night was my birthday present. Missed training, did proposals, painted the banner, and last 5 days ago, FOC happened. It was tough, tears shed, pumping completed, different feelings for everyone, for the good or bad. Yet we must expect this, we must understand, we must support, and thats what makes a family: understanding, love, support for one another.

FOC has been fun. Seeing all those freshies happy, seeing a smile on their face, the enthusiasm in their cheer, Everything was worth it. And now, we SGLs, write our own story, continue what the AGLs now has been writing for us.

As a game master, my first game felt like a let down, I felt extremely bad for the freshies I was leading, but this did not pull me down, and it just strive me to do better for my next game, and it was perfect. Everyone was very into the game, and the cheers and smiles on their faces, satisfying.

There is however, someone that stole my eyes, but nevertheless, that someone has strings tied, for very long, so being a friend to me is fine. Well, life never let you get your way, but still, make whatever you have of your life the way you want it. If Asians girls were just easier to approach than Americans, men like us would not have such a problem. Well, time will tell, you only can cling on that tread of hope for that long.

I learnt so much during FOC, many things which I haven't, but thats not the end, I still have a lifetime to learn more, and I'm keen on doing it. Maybe try something new, like rap.

Least Unexpected

It was 20th, and now its 21st. The end of Pisces and the start of Aries. I the person that is both: on the 20th March, I'm both fish and ram. This could be the result of my many possible characteristics and personalities, but hey, who am I to kid.

Well, yesterday at 0000Hrs, I officially turned 18. And I was surprised to see so many people actually having the heart to use their time posting a happy birthday wish on my wall, and there were many I didn't expect to do it as well. I still remembered that only the day before, I was starting up my Foursquare account after a evening prayer to the people in Japan and after eating Haagen Daz at the Esplanade with SBM. A massive tsunami of Birthday spam came in. I appreciated the spam people, and I wish I could comment back, but I need the energy to blog, before I go to bed.

Well for one, thanks to everyone who took the effort to wish me a happy birthday, it means a lot. Second, thanks for the memories to all those people I spent my time with, as I recalled them after noticing the people who commented, love you all guys, and gals. For those who wished me a happy birthday and who I don't really know, thanks guys for making a stranger's day happier, awesome people I have to say. Lastly, thanks to the SBM peeps today who I celebrated with today(or yesterday).

I was actually touched by the amount of people who wished a happy birthday to me, from my primary school up till the polytechnic I'm studying in now. I have seen so many people up till now, met many awesome friends, shared the joy together, and then we parted, drifted away from everyone, yet the memories lasted forever. It was a pleasure meeting all of you, I cherished those moments, and are the only thing that keeps our friendship going. I never thought I made a big impression in people's memories, but I was wrong.

I really wish I could tell each of you guys individual things in the Facebook comments, but I don't have the time or energy to finish it. The most I can do is acknowledge them with a 'like'. I love all you guys no matter what happens and thank you for all the things you have done for me till now. I would not have been what I am now without anyone of you people.

Well,a birthday isn't completed without a birthday cake, but also, without a wish, but I'll come to that after I talk about my first day of my 18 year.

I went for community service today to distribute food items to the elderly and financially challenged, a good deed to do on my first day of 18. Went together with the SBM peeps. Was teamed up with FuZhong. It was quite fast, and we came back one of the earliest, where we started eating light snacks, which could be considered as lunch a that time. Headed down to Superdog at 313 to chill. Kevin did something amazing, and after Kevin received his X-Box achievement 'Ego boost +2, 10G', which was after a few hours, we went for dinner, and then a nice game of LAN before chilling out again. Heading home tired and sleepy.

Well I can't give everyone a cake here, but I can tell you my Birthday wish, which is hoping for everyone to be well and happy.

Un-shattered Memories

What do tears represent?
Fear? Of those you imagine.
Love? For someone you lost.
Enjoyment? From that unstoppable laughter.
Remorse? Realizing the horror you did.
Lies? Shedding for deception.
Pain? Undesirable physical feeling.
Attention? A lure for concern.
Touched? By the actions or words shown or spoken.
And the list flows on...
Tears, what else can you mean?

Yup I have been away for long, but exams were starting and, you guessed it, I was lazy. Been studying with friends these few weeks. Exams are about to end now, hopefully it was all for the best. Well, nothing more to say than good luck to myself. A new post will be on its way soon, hopefully.

Indecisive Lies