The Life Of Titiny Qwerz™

All Well That Ends Well 2011 (Well Just Wanted To Post Something on My Blog Before The New Year, Will Post Later)

2011-12-31T23:27:00.000+08:00

What makes you happy?

2011-11-20T14:51:00.001+08:00

Being me :D

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

So What Did Yo Do During Your Extra Weekend?

2011-11-08T01:00:00.000+08:00

Well, for one thing, I slept. And that's about all I guess. What a waste of a weekend? Nah.

Lets start on a Saturday. Short and sweet, I went to SBM to help out in Kathina Day: a day where we pay respect and offer new robes to the fellow monks. Well, there wasn't much to do, other than carrying things from one end to another. Slacked at SBM for awhile, and saw something unexpected. Dylan, for some reason, threw a bottle, and FK face was in the path of the revolving bottle(hitting here was unintentional of course). So something moving at such a high speed, with a face in it line of movement isn't a good sign. And within a split second, I saw FK on the floor holding on to her face. We all went up to see if she was alright. A fact from her shattered specs and the sudden shock, she wasn't in any serious danger, thankfully, just a bruise on he check and a deep imprint on the side of her bridge.

Anyway, went down for a shopping trip with whoever who was still at SBM, which was Ernest, Vicky, XinYi, Dylan, KaiWen and FK. Well, since FK glasses broke, I loan her mine so she could window shop, and had to follow her around because she was holding on to my specs, and visibility was bad. Well, I started talking to her about stuff, and then, well, she sort of made me think through things clearer, and I appreciated that, thanks. :D Followed KaiWen to meet up with JianYong to play pool. And cabbed home.

Kathina Day, and I became the flag bearer. Help out in other stuff, which I'm kinda lazy to describe. After lunch, packed up a little and went home early to prepare for night cycling.

And then the adventure starts, but seeing that I got to sleep, I'm just gonna jump to the good part, where my bicycle wheel got punctured during the ride. There was an instant I heard a 'pop' sound, soon after, I needed more strength to paddle at the same speed my friends were paddling, and finally I heard the metal rim scrapping against the hard cement below. I ran pushing my bike to the nearest petrol kiosk. Pumped back air into the wheel, and off we went. However, after covering 2km worth of road, the rim started to make sounds again. Looking for an alternative, we decided that we go down to Magdalene house, which was close to the Kiosk where we re-inflated the wheel. So I pushed the bike 2km to her house, running. Awesome stuff. Continue to cycle and complete the route. When we arrived at East Coast Park, it was just in time for the sunrise, and it was awesome. After returning the bikes, we had breakfast and went home to have a good rest. Another adventure not to be forgotten.

I got to say, thanks to everyone who helped me and endured my problem with me. Wouldn't have got through this without you guys. Sad to say I wasn't much of use in the end :/

This weekend has thought me many things. Has inspired me to do more. Has made me a better person. Best of all, I'm back to my normal cheerful self again :D

Giving Up? Not Now. Still Need Time To Think.

Adventure Galore

A True Story Of A Boy

2011-11-02T09:00:00.004+08:00

It was morning, the sun wasn't up, the sky was still dark, and I only had 4 hours of sleep. However, stupidity forced me to get out off my bed, no matter how much my good buddy, 'the brain', horned at me to just laze around like a fat cat I always was. My brain thought it was stupid to wake up this early, the reason why was even worst in his opinion, and started to hate me for doing it. I believe it was just tired though.

Sprung out of bed, and immediately, without hesitation, went to the commode to wash up, take a crap and bath. Look at the sundial, 10 minutes left before the horse wagon leaves the station. With no time to lose, spread my spread on a slice of bread, took some awful drink, 5 minutes on the clock and I rushed out of the cottage. The feeling of the wind going against your body as I ran on the dirt road, was awesome, and since no donkeys, wagons, carriages or pull-carts took up much of the road because it not even dawn yet, It just felt like I owned the whole world. Reached the station 3 minutes before the first wagon left.

Upon entering the wagon, the seats were totally empty, and that 'I owned the world feeling and no one can stop me' feeling occurred again. It just felt so awesome. I took out the banjo I brought along with me, and played my heart out, singing along to the tunes and such. It seems so peaceful.

After an hour's journey, I got off the wagon, and hasten my movement, and reach my destination in 5 minutes. I stood in front of a barnyard, waiting for the doors to open. My brain is still lecturing me that it's a bad idea, but I wouldn't listen. A wondering merchant saw me, noticed that I was waiting anxiously for the gates to be opened.

'you got to ask the guard to open it for you, my young boy!' He yelled.

'And how do you find him?' I questioned.

'He won't be here for another half a piece!' The merchant mentioned as he advanced to me, 'What are you doing here anyway?'

'Left something in the royal barn, got to get it back as soon as possible.' I replied.

'Haha! Well my friend good luck with that.' And he went off on his way.

5 minutes in, and my impatient tendency kicked in. I decided to look for alternative ways to get in. Looking up and down, high and low, left and right, just for a opening where I can get in. Well, I did find a window, and you guessed it, I decided to go through that rather huge 'entrance'. However, the barn had 2 levels, and I noticed that there is nothing which leads me down to the first level. The only possible way to get down, was to jump. I did contemplate on doing that, but sneaking in is already a bad enough offence, and if I jumped down, I have no way back up. Thinking it through, I noticed that the inside of the barn was apparently quite dark. Remembering that I went fishing yesterday, and to the grass fields after to do some firefly catching with Xavier in the night, I immediately took out my fish rod, and my jar full of fireflies, mostly live. Shook the jar a bit to agitate them, and the jar immediately lit up. Tired the string to the jar and lowered it down to the first floor to brighten up the area.

Took me awhile, but I saw something glitter in the light, which I got a feeling that was what I was searching for. Just when I was about to leave, I heard footsteps, I had the thought to hide but it was too late, the guard in-charged of the area spotted me. He pull me out and reprimanded me. Well, I knew I was in the wrong, but I did try to explain my self, but it was to no use. He wanted to bring me back to the royal guardhouse for questioning. I decide to follow suit, but requested that he help me open the gates so I can get the thing I'm looking for. He agreed nicely though.

After opening the gates, I rushed in and put my things aside to look for it. Seems that the object which was glittering on the floor was what I was looking for.

The Guard was curious and ask 'So what was it that was so important which you lost?'

'It something which is precious to my friend, a ring' I answered.

The guard gave me a weird glance, and I told him again 'more or less you know why I came in such a rush to look for it.'

The guard gave a thought, and reluctantly replied 'alright, I'll let this matter go to rest, don't let me catch you doing this again.'

I thank him like a crazy man, and quickly left the area.

So being a good person does pay off.

Well, it happened... In my context :)

Reckless Redemption

Week 3, The Difficulty Starts

2011-10-31T20:17:00.001+08:00

Week 3, Day 1(15): I want to bang my head on the wall, things are getting tougher from now on.

Well, the last time I blog was 2 weeks ago, before, school reopened. I struggle my way through the first week. Picked up some tips along the way. Did I mention I was vegetarian now? Surprised, surprised.

Many people still doesn't know why I'm vegetarian. Well, I always wanted to be. And one day I went to this vegetarian restaurant, and the phrases and words there made me think, that is so true. I decided to start now, but slowly, by stop eating pork first, then chicken, then fish. Not only is this good from karma, I won't contract as much diseases by eating meat, will be healthier, will make me look better. However, a series of unfortunate events made me direct my focus to being vegetarian as soon as possible, to keep my mind of things, since its long term. Maybe some people might feel its stupid, but it does work for me. And I wanted to be vegetarian for awhile, so why not now?

Where else to start? Lets go back to Saturday first, where I watched 'In Time' with the SBM family. Although the concept wasn't heavy portrayed, the desperation for humans to live longer, and the mental torture to know how much more time you have in this world everyday, is crazy. The rich lives forever, the poor just die at the age of 26. You are really paying your life by the second, literally. Everyday, you just wish you can live longer, seeing a day on your watch left, you just want more. The action was alright, the ending wasn't all that great, the show didn't pull me in, and concept wasn't properly explained. I'll give it a 6/10 because of the idea and the emotions shown in the movie. To a certain extent, you can feel the pain of seeing everyone around you die, and still have the will to live, even for the wrong intentions. And to think, you must cherish your time everyday, every hour, every minute every second, because you can do a lot in a day, other than just wasting your time away. Currently, I'm not making use of that time yet.

I don't know, but why is it so strong? Why can't I let go? Why am I waiting? I question myself that. I never see flaws, I see everything beautiful about you. Your commitment, your smile, your stand on something you belief, the kind and warm you portray, that sensibility. If someone was with you, he is lucky to have you, and he better make you happy. I just don't know, I'll wait, I just feel it will be worth it, I don't know if that feeling is true. Is it? I want to know. I thought it was, but if it isn't, that means I have been a jerk. I could have been close friends, without this air lingering around, I spoiled a friendship, how selfish of me. All I want now, is just to be good friends. It feels heavy when I'm around you, but I don't know, maybe its just a crush, and I'll get over it, maybe it isn't, maybe I'm really lo... don't say it to soon. I must sort out my feelings first. Lets just be good friends, Ok? Then we see where it goes...

Now that I got that off, maybe is time to do something meaningful for a change, I should save up and get a keyboard, should be time for one, and to start learning. And I finally bought my ear piece :)

P.S. I forgot, vegetarian food saves me a hell lot of money :D

P.S.P.S. I still got a hell lot of things not done yet D:

Exponential Difficulty

Last Days Of The Holidays

2011-10-15T17:12:00.002+08:00

Well, its been... Different, this entire holiday. The list of things I wanted to do has not been completed. Had my ups and lows, had talks, had worries, had fun, made memories, made friends, learn, improve, many new things.

I have learn to never stab your friends in your back, never bad mouth them, never leave a friend behind, respect them for who they are, accept them for what they are, and if you can change them for the better. Friends are important.

I looked out the window, I listen to advice, I say my thoughts, and I things through. I talk with people, asked for help, I learn from them through sight and sound, and they made my day.

I'll never forget the times, the smiles, the joy. I also will never forget the pain, the insults, the regrets.

Went to cycling, made a twitter, went to loft, admire someone, the camps I went, the countless days coming back to school, sending people off, picking people up, staying up in the night, drinking. Awesome time.

This holiday was great, but all good things come to an end, and other good things will sprout out in time. I just have to tackle the challenges that is going at me head on, fight with it and not matter how much I fall. Stay strong. No one is a loser, everyone comes out a winner. I got a feeling its going to be tough, foresight tells me this, but time will tell.

Nervous Intensity

This Weekend Changed My View Of Life

2011-10-09T04:06:00.002+08:00

To think, two days has changed me a lot. Understanding myself, understanding others, finding out that there is more to life than petty problems we face everyday. The three weekends (Yes, I consider Friday as my weekend) have taught me plentiful, its long, I'll tell you.

I fear of rejection, I'm not lying. I fear of failure, I'm not lying to that too. How I face it when I come face to face with it? I hide. I always told myself that I won't hide, but I still have been doing it even after I quoted it. I play, have fun, so that I won't think about it, and then face it later, when it doesn't hurt that much, and also the fact that most men can't multi-task well. Fact.
And once I got used to the pain, I got over things faster, but I still haven't face my fear, reason? I fear of separation. One thing I dislike about separation is the awkward phase, and that phase can range drastically, and I hate unexpectedness happening.
'We always tell ourselves expect the unexpected? I punch you in the face, than I'll ask if you expected that.' A funny quote I saw online. We must expect anything possible to happen though, even that type of things.
Going back on topic: yes, that something I fear the most. I know that it is impermanent, life and all, but, I want it to be, at least until the day that I die. And with all these 3 fears, it leads up to a very big one(or a small one in fact): Fear of popping THE question. And yes, I would hide if I met them.

But that was the past, or before Friday at least. During the weekends, I learned that there are worst things to my 'problems' which I sub-consciously created, they might not be even problems, and sometimes they are actually opportunities. Worst things like my grades, balancing my social life and my work life, my goals being at stake etc. etc. And I also learn that my 'problems' are actually nothing much in other people's eyes, they have faced worst. And this kept me thinking: Why am I so selfish? Why do I get emotional over something so trivial, something I have been through what seems like a thousand over times to others, when there are others getting worst out there? Why didn't I make the effort to help them instead of harping over my problems? And instead insult them, mock them, stab them through their chest from the back? I can't believe I did that as a human, I don't even think am one, more like a monster.

'It's not something to be proud off, what I'm proud of is that through this, I can enlighten others who are in need of help, let them realize that there is much more than what you are facing now,' from the friend who enlighten me, paraphrasing what he said. His stories were surprising, but not to the fact that I was mind-blown. From the first day I met him, I knew that nothing is simple about him. And when you give up your selfish thoughts, and put yourself in someone else's shoes, you will know how difficult it was for my friend. Even I have no idea how I would do it. Thinking that Buddhism had helped me so far, I found out that my friends around me had help me too. To get through difficult times, to advice me on things which benefit me, to change me the way I am now. If I could, and I would, I would have been there for him if I knew him at those times of turmoil. Thanks for being there for me now, I'll be there for you when you need it too.

'If you lose your self-confidence, you are a loser'. That was another phrase that struck my head. I was always booming with self-confidence every single day, but when it came down to this problem, this situation, I pulled me all the way back to the point of 'no confidence'. And when he told me that, I totally wanted to slap myself: what for being upset of something when you have not even tried it yet? How can I have no confidence in something I have not even tried out? And that's the point where I say 'hey, you know what? I'm a winner, I'm never a loser. Whatever I do, I do not regret, I do with pride. If there is a mistake, learn and not repeat, because everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect. I'm a winner, and so is everyone else'. That totally pull me back up as high as I can't see.

'I may had liked her, or her, or even her, but I try not to bother about these things, so everything will be natural'. And that kept me thinking, I may like her, and I keep thinking about her, but that just voids every other possible thought I could have which would have made my life better. So I know I like her more than a friend, and so let that feeling be. I have other things more important to worry about than that, if it turns out right where I want it, it will. So now just let her get used to me being around, being comfortable, and if it doesn't progress, I'll still will like her more than a friend, but I will treat her as my younger sister, and then so be it, I'll feel happy that she is around me. As long as her feelings for me as a friend, or maybe even a older brother, lasts.

And I got a strong feeling she more or less knows that I like her, cause of all the craziness that happened, but she doesn't shows signs of being uncomfortable around me, yet, feeling glad about that. I heard that she treats me more like having a brother-sister relationship, which I think its too early to say that, but who knows? It may turn out being best bro/sis, and I would be contented enough. Scared though that if she does read this blog, she thinks that I'm a weirdo or something, and if that happens, well, that's sad to hear, and worst still if she avoids me, but what to do? Just Move Along like the All American Rejects: go listen, its a good song. Life still has to carry on no matter what.

And today was a fruitful day, I clean my hamster cage, I went to SBM, and I learnt about facing fears from the sharing. It might not be as much as the day before, but I still something to take note. I accepted that I have fear and suffering within me, within this world, thorough the 4 noble truths. which leads to the noble 8 fold paths, the part of right understanding hit me. If I understood impermanence, I would know that it happens to relationships, I would also know that feelings are impermanent, but I'll try, I'll try to make things better if possible, if not, I'll stay contented at where it is, not lower. And through these right understandings, I can decide on the right actions and right effort I put in. And when I realized that, a flower bloomed within me. Lapak and had dinner with the guys, before going off to meet and fetch the Wuhan brothers home, or at least at the airport. Thanks Brandon's dad for dropping me off at my house, appreciated it :)

To summarized what I learn these few days: Be selfless, put yourself in others shoes, don't let small problems affect you: it may not even be a problem after all, never stab your friends: help them instead, be contented with what you have now: nothing is forever permanent, if it goes you let go, if there is a challenge deal with it, Buddhism helps in my way of life.

I really, like I always do, thanks my friends throughout the world getting to know you, my belief in Buddhism, myself for being able to get through shit alive, because without them and my family, I would not have been what I am today, Glen TitinyQwerz Tan ;) You all are truly awesome, never forget that people :) Do stay in touch ;D

Well I got some cycling to do with Dr Koh and Kai Feng at ECP tomorrow, or later, so got to sleep soon.

Never live your life with regrets, be close to the people you love, and work towards the life you want. Nothing is impossible, its just an excuse not to try. And stay happy, care not about the things they do, but the feelings they have had going through it. Never take your friends for granted or worst, stabbing them from behind, be glad to have them and appreciate them, even if no one appreciate the things you do, be glad you did it for the sake of them being happy, for it being the right thing to do, and Move Along.

My Friends, Family and Myself: I Love You All. Peace Out.

Unlocking Myself

I'm Filled With Sugar, Rearrange It

2011-10-06T02:10:00.000+08:00

I'm currently still in sugar rush mode, so I'm getting crazy online and posting stuff. Therefore I going to post more stuff till it wears off. So I got a puzzle, rearrange it:
This is to you.
I can say though, I dislike being cut off.
I Can't believe I'm saying this now.
Got a feeling there is going to be headaches involve in the morning.
It hurts when you end it suddenly.
I'm starting to get hook on twitter, die dude, die. *shotgun BANG*
I wait and wait.
Don't stop.
And when it doesn't return.
Seriously I'm getting hooked on it.
I assume things to make me happy.
I needs my enjoyment time, oh ya, I had it just now and it was AWESOME!
Tired to do so, slip of mind, busy.
Half way through a conversation.
But when I see that you can do other things and not bother.
Ice cream, scandals, gossip, and lots of screaming, two thumbs!
Somewhere in me breaks
Anticipation sucks when it there no show.
I don't know why.
Stupid stories and its cliff hangers, die.
I feel like crap, like a loser.
*Cries*
Why does this happen.
It's like a cliff-hanger.*Jumps off a cliff*
Please reply, or end it properly.
Don't know why I still eat wrong things when I'm already like shit.
Don't leave me there waiting, hanging edging.
Control more.
I'll wait, I have to persevere to get what I want
It always does, sucks thumb get over it, continue until its really over.
My heart may ache
Sleep makes me happy, you make me happy.
But I stay strong.
Hayden an asshole though.
I cannot say I love you, not yet.
Still good.
But don't ignore me please.
Friends are awesome sauce.
Acknowledge and reply, or finish it, that's all I need
Abrupt endings fail to the max.
I don't like it hanging there.

Where there isn't a proper ending to it.

It hurts

OK I'm done, so its now time for you to solve this puzzle, or maybe not. I'm starting to feel the fatigue kicking in. Time to sleep.
You can brighten up my day any time, just don't ignore it.
Sugar Attraction

Friends: The Sacrifice I'm Willing To Go Through

2011-10-05T13:01:00.000+08:00

Friends, they do everything. They have fun with you, make you laugh, joke with you, insult you, scold you, cause havoc with you, are there for you, help you, argue with you, hate you, fight with you, envy you, understand you, misunderstand you, do shit with you. I know that many things I said above have some bad elements to it, but that what friends do. And then you think, if they do everything, doesn't that mean everyone is your friend?

I look at it that way. Its good to do so, and this allows me to treat everyone equally, if the factors allow me to. However, I don't expect everyone to treat me in that way. They may treat me like dirt, treat me like crap, see me as an asshole, like a joke, a loner, but I still will treat them as a friend. What is the point of making someone unhappy? What good is there? I won't argue, I won't retaliate, because it builds up tension and there is no point to do so. I'll just take their scoldings, their insults, their remarks, their comments, I would rather let them be right than I be right and lose my friend, what glory is there to it? I rather lose my pride, my ability to stand up for myself, my own image in the eyes of others that lose someone entirely.

Friends, it takes so much sacrifice to have them, but in the end, its all worth the crap.

Unfriendly Companions

Side Note: I Have a Very Bad Feeling That Number 15 is Coming Soon, Damn.

A Paradox Of Story And Random

2011-10-05T01:35:00.001+08:00

I do many things because of people. I made this blog because of someone I liked. I made a Facebook for someone I liked. I made a MSN because of someone I liked, and for gaming as well. And in the end, I did not regret making a blog, I did not regret having a Facebook, nor did I regret having a MSN. And then came Twitter, and soon I won't regret having a Twitter. In the end of all of this, I wasn't with any of them, sadly, but that's fine, because I found joy and convenience in the things I did from the start to the end, with my blog, facebook, MSN. And I do have to thank them.

Then what about Twitter? Yes, I made it out of impulse, but I got a feeling I will continue using it. However, will it be the same outcome as the other 3? I have been through 14 failures, and I say, I don't want a 15, although I should be OK with this happening again, but in actual fact, I fear.

I may seem to know every single thing, but this is something I'm alien to. I really don't know how to approach this, or I just don't want to approach it, I don't know. I want to get through this myself, but I know I need friends to help. Do they really help? Yes they support you in spirit, and might give a good word or two, but will day actually make it better or for worst? I wonder.

In the end, I can't blame my friends for the outcome, I can't blame anyone about it, only me. Even if there are external factors suppressing my chances, adapt to it, find a way around it. It's my fault for all the failures, not anyone, and I just have to suck it up and do whatever it takes to get what I want, if all else fails again, so let it be, so let life go on. I'll will have to face it one day, and whatever happens, I won't regret. I don't care what my friends says, just adapt to it, I have lived with it more than I can remember.

I got to admit though, I feel like a loser, on many occasions, and I don't know if others feel the same way. Always complaining, thinking about stuff in the future and not acting on it, thing about the person I like but not doing anything about it, or not doing enough. Thinking that when others look at me, they look at me in a good way, they talk behind my back as it was something good. So loser-like of me, ain't it? I do wish I'm wrong at times. Yet I think, complaining is a way to give feedback, and thinking that people are looking at and talking about me in a good view boost my self-esteem. And one more thing, I believe I'm right. For this, I wish I wasn't right about it.

Yet, a loser to others may mean always giving up, forgetting the people who made you who you are, only caring about themselves, would be the first to run, always pessimistic, thinking that they are the best, thinking that they no need help, that they can do everything. Sadly some of them I show from time to time, but I'll will never leave people behind, I will never give up, I am always putting others ahead of me, willing to treat myself like shit so that others can be glorified, and I will never forget the people who I met and known, taking note of even the smallest detail I had and enjoy with them. I may carry these ideals, but I still feel a loser.

Backtracking to the part where I got a twitter, this just shows I fell hard for you. And I may fall harder if things goes out the way I don't want it to happen. However, after 14 times, I am able to climb back up to ground level. People might think, that doesn't mean much to you, yes it does, it's just that I can come to consensus that 'I can't do anything more, I wish you all the best, hope we stay as friends, I will remember the small and awesome time we had, and hope we can have more in the future' better from understanding impermanence. In the end, this life journey will be worth it, it something totally new, and I should learn something about it.

15? So be it.

Hope Edging

Confused: Unsung or Fame

2011-10-02T18:56:00.001+08:00

Who wouldn't want it? Popularity? Fame? Attention? Who doesn't want it? Appreciation? Recognition? Acceptance? We all say we don't, we tell them there isn't a need for it. But, within us, we want it. It's a simple form of reverse psychology. No matter how much you force yourself saying, you no need help, you no need this, you no need that, inside you, there is a small bit which says 'it's not true, I want it'.

For a person like me, yes, I feel that way at times, like when I say there is no need for this, there is no need for that, I don't mean it, but it I only feel that way if they ask 'you need it?'. If they keep their mouth shut, I feel, what is the point for them to show attention, to recognize me, to appreciate what I have done? And a scenario like this, makes me think: Screw popularity, screw attention, screw recognition, screw appreciation, as long as I'm doing things right, as long as I'm doing things I like, doing things not against my morals, then I no need all of it, because what I'm doing, it makes me happy.

In the situation however, when they ask, I feel that they want me, need me, appreciate me. And then, I'll pull the 'Nah, it's ok, I don't need it', so I can feel more appreciation. Sounds kinda dumb, I know, but if I can get more, then why not?

And it is because of these two conflicting scenarios, at times, I don't know if I want popularity, fame, attention, appreciation, recognition, acceptance, at times I like being an unsung hero, someone that gets the job done, and nothing more that it being another day, being it simple, nothing complicated. And at times, I want people to listen to me, to hear me out, where maybe I can do something more, when they need me, want me there.

And as how I deal my problems, I figure them out myself, usually. It's easy at times, but sometimes, it takes someone to inspire, to help me. I wonder if I can find that someone.

Wondering Preferences

Crushing On Her

2011-10-01T02:30:00.000+08:00

Everyone know this famous phrase 'once bitten, twice shy'. And it is mainly used for many things, one of it is love. Love is a very big topic to cover, but its something everyone must face. And of course, almost everyone, needs love, those who doesn't are people who will eat your souls, most probably.

Now, let go to something more specific. Let talk about crushing on someone. I for one, am a person that can fall for someone very easily, mainly because I take more notice on their good points, what makes girls beautiful to take note, to look at, to smile at, and less notice on their bad ones. Being it on the surface like pretty, cute, hot ,to their character like nice, smart, elegant, caring, I don't see much of a flaw. And when even I see a flaw, I always believe that it can be corrected. However, do take note that the form of crushing only happens when you barely got to know the person. Whether or not you develop strong feelings or just that 'I just want to be friends with this awesome person' happens later on, only when you get to know them better. So basically, crushing is the basic form before actual love is cultivated, and it is usually one-sided, until some time later, or maybe never.

So, what with the phrase 'once bitten, twice shy'? Well, if so happens that you do develop strong feelings, you would start doing stupid things at times without thinking, because that feelings will cause a blur when evaluating. At times risking it works, but in my case, I fail quite a lot, to an extent that the phrase would not apply to me, but still does. Sure I'm immune to the pain of rejection, where I usually get over it fast and pretend nothing wrong or awkward has happened, but guess what? I'm still afraid of it. Being through things made me think through my actions better, much more logical, but to a point where there is an abyss in the way. Sure, it may have gone smoothly so far, but I lack that risk to jump over. And seeing that my standing broad jump isn't that good in both aspects, I always fail to make it over, make it in time, or just don't jump.

For a person like me, I hate risk, simply put it, cause its not foolproof. Factors always affect the entire thing, and when it does, you usually screw yourself. Of cause, everyone ask you to go for it and all, but stupidly, it not their life, it yours, and you are screwing with it. That's why I'm keeping it a secret, something I need to deal with myself, something that no one knows or take seriously of me.

One more thing, I hate keeping secrets, but I can, it just pains me that I can't tell to someone close to at times. Why? Simple, I like gossip, who doesn't?

I hold the burden in, with much control. I want help, but I believe in myself, and sometimes, it sucks. Why you must tell a secret to someone? It's something you need to talk about, so you can share the load, seek friends for advice, or just to develop a common topic to talk about or make friends. Trust is something which might be lost, when undervalued, if you spread a secret. So now the problem is, should I?

I lost myself halfway typing, so if parts of it seems rubbish, then it is. According to the list, it has stayed stagnant from the last time, so I don't bother typing it out again, until a significant change. More or less you know from this post, I'm crushing on someone, which I feel impossible to get, even though I say impossible is an excuse not to try. Why? Simple, she is nice, sociable, cute, pretty, sweet, fun-loving, and this list can go on and on and on, and to think, which guy would not have an eye on her? Or even some guy is already with her for all I know. I may lack confidence, but my ego and self-esteem has never left me one bit.

Confidence, i need to find it.

On a side note, awesome day today. Porridge was awesome and the after dinner activities and antics were great.

Say Hi

1 To 1

2011-09-29T10:51:00.001+08:00

They are weird, maybe even weirder than my batch, but that just makes them more awesome. Handing over Society to them, I feel that it would be fine.

When you tell me I'm individualistic, show signs of selfishness, only about me, my, mine, you guys think about it yourself as well. You know their standard, yet you guys don't want to put it at the end, choosing smack-centre of the time-slot. After being shot at, you think they will still have the mood to continue practicing after? Call it pampering, call it spoon feeding, I call it being fair. I don't expect you guys to insult them, break them down, because most of you guys do not have the heart to do so. I'll just let you guys comment, I won't have anything to say during that time.

What one man can do is limited.

Progress:

Watch Letter Bee and Letter Bee Reverse -->50%

Survive the holidays --> don’t know if I’llmake it

Torrent music --> not started

Get a girlfriend --> never come close to it

Research light-speed at Ikariam-->Research stagnant

Build an army in Ikariam --> got defeated andstarted to reduce

Get new headphones and earphones --> 0%

Play more games --> Don't know where to start

Hangout with awesome people --> been doingthat, which I think it’s killing me

Read up on manga --> on it

Shopping --> Stopped

Learn to play the piano --> 3 week ofno practice

Have fun --> Yup

Upload photos from photography class --> Notdone

OAC video --> ¼ of it

I'm dying now, with a sore throat and lack of sleep. Fuck

Sleepless Strength

Effort and Sacrifice

2011-09-17T23:42:00.001+08:00

Progress:

Watch Letter Bee and Letter Bee Reverse --> 50%

Survive the holidays --> somewhere there

Torrent music --> not started

Get a girlfriend --> never come close to it

Research light-speed at Ikariam--> Researching slowly

Build an army in Ikariam --> better progression than the above

Get new headphones and earphones --> 0%

Play more games --> Don't know where to start

Hangout with awesome people --> everyday

Read up on manga --> doing it

Shopping --> Here and there

Learn to play the piano --> 2 week of camp made me stop practicing

Have fun --> umm, will come back to that

(UPDATE)

Upload photos from photography class --> Not done

OAC video --> not started

Well, majority of it is not progressing well, and my grades just dropped... Major bummer. It seems like my future which I aimed for looks bleak. Very demoralized as you can see, very unsure of what to do, more like I don't want to do anything. Even I know I can't do that, but feelings can never be stopped, it will reoccur, it how you deal with them. I decided to ignore them, and just work harder. That's what I can do, and from a friend I know, she once said 'words are cheap'. Hope mine isn't.

Effort and Sacrifice, Its Tiring

It's a OAC, at Block 50

2011-09-15T01:02:00.001+08:00

So, you will never guess where I am now, typing this blog. If you guess it right, I'm currently blogging from the 6th level of block 50 at Ngee Ann Polytechnic, room 06-01. Turns out that this classroom has its floors carpeted, interesting.

Anyway, the time here was supposed to be spent doing things for the camp during night walk and for chit-chat, but one by one my friends were picked off by an unknown force, which I assume is laziness. Currently in the room with Louis and SW, busying finding stuff to do. And I decided to find some time to blog.

Well, last post was about OAC. So its kinda obvious what I'm going to talk about: NINJAs!!!! Just kidding, but Ninjas are awesome too.

Even though the OAC wasn't for me to enjoy, I enjoyed it. Even if I didn't bond with the GLs much, I enjoyed watching their progress growing together as a family. Even though I wasn't a GL, I felt like one because of my juniors. I can't thank them enough to remind me of the inspiration they provided me. Actually, I did not thank them verbally, but I'm grateful for what they have shown, portray and proven, that even though through the toughest times they must pull through, they do it together as a team. Hopefully a video is a good enough thanks for them. Great, awesome people I have to say. Love yo' faces people!

No we move on to super happy fun time news: I'm tired.

Can a twitter account be linked to a blogger account? If so, I may resort to twitter.

Beauty is perception: I see everyone beautiful

Update the check list some other time.

Well wish me luck for the night D:

Fireflies Files

A Camp And Stuffz

2011-09-09T00:26:00.001+08:00

Watch Letter Bee and Letter Bee Reverse

Survive The Holidays

Torrent Music

Get A Girlfriend

Research At Light-speed In Ikariam

Build An Army In Ikariam

Get New Headphones and Earphones

Watch More Anime(Will Update On This)

Play My Games

Hang Out With Awesome People

Read Up On Manga

Shopping!

Learn the piano, somewhat.

Have fun

And if there is anything else to add on my holiday list, I would continue to. I did say I was going to type a list, so here it is, a simple one, which is better than nothing. Now I got my list, I'm heading off to camp. Yes! Camp, till Sunday that is. I just decided to blog today cause I found free time. Yay!

No, seriously, I really don't have much time to spare for blogging.

Time to feed dah Hamster.

Cut It

Trees

2011-08-24T23:50:00.000+08:00

A seed, it may not seem much, but once you plant it, something so minuscule becomes mammoth. In the end, one day or another, it will die. Before it departs for the world that we know, it leaves mere seeds dropping from a hovering canopy, to the forest floor. These seeds will be like it, either letting nature do its job, or a person to cultivate it, or might be even food for the wildlife around,and even food goes back to the ground eventually. It will grow like the one it was, hovering all grandeur and mighty.
From age, comes wisdom.
We all started out as a little seed. We grew, branching out whatever we learn, from the glaring light that shined from the sun guiding us the way up, the water which gives us courage to stand firm, and the air that we breathe, knowing that we are still living as we are today.
When we grow, we develop ideas, interest, knowledge, feelings; those are the seeds of the trees. They grow in you as well, and can influence the growth of seeds, for the better or the worst.
It affects and/or cultivates by/with/our people around us, or it may grow along side you, and or it may just be a consideration. Its a selective for farmers to choice the best seeds, and the rest just grows or get eaten and returned too.
Yet, no tree is the same, even though it comes from that one tree, it is different. It is not where it comes from that is important, it is not how and where it start that makes it different, neither where it end, it is the process of growth which makes each tree special and unique.
All trees have a lifespan, whether small, big, different, similar, and so do you, as well as your ideas. One day, it will wither and die, either remembered or forgotten.

Trees: its representation is more that what shown here. How you picture a tree, is up to you.

Well, that just came fluently. I was just thinking about trees, and here I am, with a post about it, or something to that extent.
Exams are about to end soon, with one paper to go on Friday, plus one on Monday, because of dip-plus. Hah, I made a cold joke, lame. Anyway, since the holidays are coming soon, and another semester of my exploits in Polytechnic is about to come to a close, and a new holiday is here. Before you know it, its school all over again. And I been thinking, 'have I achieved what I wanted to do in this semester?' Grades on the other hand, have failed to my expectations, from what I foresee.
So putting that aside, I'm already awesome at Texas poker now, because I'm known for being a comeback king every Thursday. I have more friends now, which is awesome. I enjoyed photography lessons in school. I attend frequent sharings and is more involved at SBM now.
Hmm, that's about all I guess. Things I see, other than grades, which I did not achieve are better social skills, who does want that? I want it.
Fitness, I'm getting a belly now.
Closer friends, friends are friends, but I want to be a better friend.
A girlfriend, that is always in my list every semester.
Better LSCT training. As an instructor, I actually suck, but truth is the rest suck more. No offence though. Yes, they are learning no doubt, I don't expect a drastic change in results though, but I just can't picture how it will end when FOC comes, or maybe its just that I don't want to picture it. I have not fully given up in the spirit of society, but I just don't see it there anymore. One voice can't do anything, especially me, some how or rather. I join main committee so that work together with my fellow mates, and return back to society. I was wrong, society changed people in ways which I did not want. All I want now is my fellow GLs back.

Anyway, swaying off from topic, there are somethings I didn't expect: Like drinking too much
Spending too much
Unexpectedly getting to know some people better
Crushing on someone

And many others which I can't think off right now. Well, my check list for the holidays should be done by Monday latest, I'll get back to you on that.

Re-Reflections

2011-08-21T04:09:00.000+08:00

I feel that today, I won't type about something lame, something that is stupid, something that I feel that is not worth saying, but still type it for the sake of this blog. This maybe long, but reflections about my life is sometimes required. Maybe it is stupid, maybe it is not required, and so don't read, it will be long, I warn you.

What made me feel this way? The emotions of others, the comments passed around about me, my friends and people I have not met, the reactions of friends, the way I do work, the way I lead, the thoughts in my brain, the things around me basically. The things I take note everyday, just accumulate within me, and it really didn't affect me, until it reach the point of threshold. I don't know if that point is even fixed, maybe it varies? It could be that time of everyone's life, where we think, what is the meaning of life? Our life?

I had many moments like this, thinking if this was the correct way, has my attitude made anyone unhappy, is this the way I should lead my life? And many others nevertheless. It has been acting as my review, as my reminder on my goals, aspirations, dreams, attitude, outlook and many other things, which I can't remember of right now. A person told me, that from the outer appearance of mine, he can clearing tell me that I'm still trying to find myself, who I actually am? I say I have multiple personas no doubt, with different people around, I react differently, so and so I don't know which one of me is real.

I believe in astrology and horoscopes, majority of it, especially those that explain ones personality, but not ones relationships. And 90% of that, is seemingly true. I'm actually an Aries-Pieces cusp, a combination of both, and depending on the date, usually the characteristics of one will be more dominant than the other. However, I was born on the day directly in between. Seeing that both of them conflict each other a lot, in my case, my ideals within me conflict very much, and maybe that is the reason why I have to review myself, frequently. If I was aware enough, I can change these attributes, but sub-consciously, when you are off your guard, you revert back to the characteristics of your horoscopes, from what I noticed. And with me being such a cusp, I lead many personas. Yet there must be something, somewhere, I can find who I really am, maybe it is something good? Maybe its something not? I'll find out, one day.

Reminders, something I dread, usually the type of reminders your parents, friends and any other person keep harping on, I know it is good, because not everyone can remember everything on their first try, but I have always dislike harping, especially those who makes use of people's bad experiences and moments in their life, or in my life. We know how bad that incident was, we all saw it, we all can remember what we did wrong, something so big which me, myself can remember for life, and you bring it up just to think that I am not capable of doing other things, just to shoot me down, because you, yourself think that you are so great? What about the good things I did? Why don't you bring that up to remind me??? I always think it that way at the start, and if I don't think further on through those covers, I will just get frustrated.

When I think through those covers, I can find the reason why you do that. I mention earlier, we can't remember everything, we have to reminded frequently before it can be permanently registered, or just something worth remembering. Yet, like I say, if there was something worth remembering, something that I can learn from, I will remember, and you don't have to repeat it. Of course, I won't know if you are just using it as a form of mockery, which I dislike. Although I have learn that you are able to use negative comments to make yourself a better person, I couldn't use that in things which has already had an impact on me. It just makes me bitter to see people raising up flaws instead of glory. Yet, even if it pisses me off for people to do that, I got to thank them for doing so, by nailing it deeper in my head, so I will never forget. By helping me be be more outspoken and not giving up, by arguing back even though I'm fighting a losing debate. By controlling my metal and over come my limits, where my heart knows that its my fault, but my brain will never succumb to admit my wrongdoing, usually, unless it is obvious of course.

I love to debate, shown above, and I have that never-lose spirit, but sometimes being unable to accept defeat isn't a bad thing. If people are as strong headed as you, one side has to stop the fire, and by giving in at times, resolves the problems. However, I'm an ideologist, and I usually support my own idea, unless, of course, you are able to prove me wrong in an intellectual debate, on why your idea is better. If people don't support my idea, I may just show them a fucked up attitude, or just hide it to myself, at the least, depends on basis. Now, when I have an idea, I feel that it must be implemented if arguments about it is invalid. Maybe I need to know, why am I doing this? Is this beneficial, or self-centered? Is there a point fighting for it? At times, I know friends who do this, and of course, I don't want to be like them, especially when you place your emotions into work-related projects. My idea may not always be the right way; that is something I ought to learn. Somehow, I came to notice this today, when I wanted to show that it wasn't wrong of what I was doing, until I was shot down, basically it was only self-beneficial to me by doing so. I still give excuses, but I just can't can't give them. I know I did my wrong, but I still fight for it being something which isn't a big matter. Maybe I'm just screw? I still got things to learn I guess.

It was supposed to be known that left-handed are generally smarter and excel better at sports than right handed people. And it is not just my left-hand, I am overall left-dominant, where even my leg, eyes and ears, are left-dominant. Yet that doesn't mean anything if I don't put in effort to study. It only takes 5% genius, and 95% effort, to do something awesome. Efforts weakness is laziness, which is currently producing nothing. Need to work on my effort to do something.

Cyberspace. Actually, cyber-gaming. I'm weak against games, and that what my will tells me. And what does this actually benefit me, other than hand-eye coordination and mindless fun? Maybe exploring a great community? Rarely. We play, we eat, we sleep. Well that what I think. And don't you feel that it is a little meaningless? Gaming is a waste of time and money, from what I feel. I could be off exercising, training, building up my knowledge, and I use this time to play games. Although after awhile, you get sick of these games and give up on them, one day, you may just want to pick them up and play again. And really, it consumes your time like hell. That's one thing I'm putting effort in, and not in anything else. And really, putting effort into gaming won't bring you far. Wake up Glen, do something meaningful and worthwhile in your life. Yet how much I plan a schedule, it wouldn't work out pretty much in the end, after a few days of change, you may just want to change back.

Love? I shall not touch on that. Let's just say, nothing much, but even still, we all do have it, and each of us has our personal definition, but I think love can be generalize just to something simple.

Effort, I have told myself something important every single day: Effort beckons results, where the more the effort, the better the result is of that specific aim. Throughout this ranting, I have been explaining myself, so I can do something about it with the help of effort. I have done it, writing this lengthy post, at such a late time. I put in so much effort just for myself, so I can find true meaning in life. However, when you place effort on something, you only can really focus one thing to be about to get it 99.9% perfect. If not, you can see the cracks and flaws here and then. Maybe, it really boils down to effort. The more effort you put into something, the better results you get.

And from there I work up.

That's all I remember which required typing. No doubt I have wrote a lot, but this is just a small portion. Currently, I'm just to tired to think and requires rest. My reflection shall end here, and I hope that I can turn into some better.

If what you read was corny and horrible, then that is your problem. I think I forgot what I typed in this state of mental fatigue.

4am Sleep

Are Dreams Found In The English Dictionary?

2011-08-19T20:48:00.001+08:00

Sleeping late at night recently, or some call it very early morning, has caused me to dream almost everyday, from Monday onward. And no, they are not wet dreams.

Of course, not everyone has develop the skill of remembering everything from a dream. I can remember bits and pieces only. From:

a tsunami, to a hotel building, out a small house, attending a council gathering, and a zombie apocalypse, where I went to a TF2 map, I saw a heavy and a scout, missing a space shuttle, powering the next space shuttle, acting like a hero, kissing a girl, running, lots of it, defending at a bunker, and I think that is all I can remember. At times, I'm aware that I'm in a dream, because I so called, magically transported from a place to another, and I just carry along with the dream. At times, when I wake up, I wish I was still back there, especially when ends at the good part or leaves me hanging on a cliff.

I still remember the time, that I type on the blog, about a dream with a certain someone, obviously a girl, like having a great time, not sex, but a good time. And then I woke up from the sound of blabbering Indians construction workers outside my house. I tried to go back to sleep and encounter that dream again, only to find myself in a zombie apocalypse, and I was running for the hell of my life. Funnily, saying prayers out loud in my dreams makes the zombies ignore you, as I ran past my mum and grandma praying. And when I woke up, the feeling just sucked.

Anyway, enough of dreams, and I'm here to talk about stuff, starting with the English dictionary. It interest me to see that 400 new words have been added in to the official words of Oxford Dictionary. Some of these words include Retweet, Sexting, Woot and Noob. So when English teachers mark us down for these imaginary words, tell them to look it up in the dictionary, and I still can't help notice that my computer and Google Chrome made red wiggly line under those words what noobs. There it is again!

Nyan cat on violin is awesome, as it is on piano, I need to learn!!!

So here to end off the post by saying I have my examinations tomorrow, after which I'll study at SBM.

Life is hard.

Chasing While Being Chased

2011-08-08T22:57:00.001+08:00

I assume yet again.

It's like a game of snake and ladders. Roll a dice, take a chance, move forward or slide backwards. If there is players, its just more tense, because there can be only one winner, no second place. But what if there are people who are playing for you? And you are playing the same game for someone? Than that is a problem.
I love to be friends, best friends, true friends.But I just pray that it is not to the extent to what I think it is.

Cruel Fate

A Message, Reminders And A Line About A Dream

2011-08-07T14:12:00.002+08:00

I don't know, are you referring to me? If you are,
I can tell you, I don't understand, but I want to understand, I want to help, if you no need help, then I respect that decision. If that does happen, no matter what you do, you're still a good friend to me, I don't care if it is or isn't ugly, everyone's beautiful, because I always can see the nice things. Force? Never, will I do that, you don't have to if you don't want too. My friends make me smile. What or who makes you smile?
If you are not, then its a message to you, my support is with you :)

It's has been an interesting week.

For me, when I say hi and bye to someone, I do recall the times I had with them, that awesomeness which was created. Even if they don't reply back, it was a pleasure to say hi to you. You made me smile by saying hi, hope I can make you smile when we meet again.

Another thing, how do you help others when you can't help yourself. If you can't help yourself, then ask help from others. It's a simple cycle. Help if you can, and if they ask, help them back. First of all though, help yourself, or request for help. We all need support, we all need help, we are always depended, its not shameful to. No matter how much you say you can handle it, you will need it. And don't worry, there are always hands there for you to grab, whether you want it or not.

The importance of a thing or situation depends on how you relay it across.

The smallest things in life can cause a great impact in the way we lead it.

We all know it, yet we don't action on it.

If I had one wish, I would wish everyone to be happy.

I think that is about all. I remembered I dreamt of surviving a tsunami, which I did, like a boss. And my hamster is lazing on its wheel now.

Contagious Concepts

Fun And Expectations

2011-07-31T21:35:00.000+08:00

What is fun? In the dictionary, it means Enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure from the things you do. We all have our own fun, a fun which is defined by us, our own beliefs, something which makes us smile, makes us happy, cleared from worries. That feeling. Is there something that everyone can do together and have fun? As in something common in everyone? If we humans are considered similar in a way, should there be something like that we can consider fun to everyone? I wonder.

Yesterday, learned about the term expectations, something that usually you want for your own benefit. And to think, I have been living in my own expectations, only to bring myself down; I'm so used to it, that the down time only affects me for a short while. It may not seem that it was an expectation, but it was. I thought it would happen, not now, but later on, and it seems that now, it will not. So, why expect the unexpected, something that isn't there yet, so just suck up and let go. Aspire instead of expecting, although it is fine to have them.

You have friends.

Both of you fall for someone.

You know but he doesn't.

What do you do?

Is it war?

Or just be the nice guy?

A puss that give in?

I don't know really.

There are many things I don't know.

From Afar

the world's ending tomorrow. what do you think you'd want to wear when death comes for you? (:

2011-07-27T02:27:00.001+08:00

Something to scare death away

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

Do you agree that all is fair in love and war?

2011-07-27T02:26:00.001+08:00

I agree, although the people you go head to head for love and war, may not always play fair

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

I Call This Fear

2011-07-27T02:23:00.000+08:00

This feeling, when someone gets hurt, it pains me to see, even hear. Yet its temporary.

This feeling, when the elderly get hurt, you can't stand and bare the pain of it going on. It's still temporary, but it hit you harder.

What about a family member, old, in her eighties, and you found out she got hurt badly?

That feeling, which I call 'fear' was induced within when I heard the bad news.

Coming home from fencing, I thought it would be a fine day, like any other day, late, playing with my hamster, and stuff. I was told that my grandma was sent to the hospital. My heart sank when I heard this from my maid. She told me that her hand was caught between the door when it slowly closed. I asked if it was bleeding, when she told me it was, I shaken, but I hoped it wasn't that serious, and just relax and continue doing my stuff.

When my mum came back to tell me the story, I couldn't believe that my grandma had suffered for around 2 hours with a piece of her flesh coming our from her little finger, and she refused to go the the hospital. She still had the strength to eat, even when her hand continue bleeding. She just did not want my maid to tell my uncle or my other aunts and my mum, she said 'I don't want to worry them, just bare with it'.

When I heard that, I thought 'ah-ma, how can you go through these suffering? At the cost of possibly your own life?'

Luckily, my maid was smart to inform them, but it was a bit to late, the doctor say that the flesh can't be fix back, but it will heal. My grandma will just have to settle with a shorter little finger. And the thought of it gave me mix feelings. Whether it was disgust, pain, disbelief, it was very unpleasant. Even I could feel the pain in my mum's words, and she could feel the pain too.

My grandma has went through harder times, so I believe she is strong enough to endure this pain, for 2 hours, but she could have lost a lot of blood, and that ain't good for someone in her eighties. If I did not go for fencing, or I did not do my project, and went home, this would not have happen, or at least the damage would not be so bad. Why wasn't I there? I would sacrifice everything for friends, and even more for family members, because I love them. She has always been there for me, supporting me from behind secretly, always concerned about me. I can't do anything for her yet, but only get good grades like she always wanted me too, and bring her to my graduation day. Maybe sub-consciously, I wanted to show her my good results, so I stayed back to do my project, to make everyone happy, but I feel that this is just an excuse.

I see her every morning, and sometimes when I come home around 7-8pm, while she is watching the Cantonese Soap Oprah on Channel 8. And all I say is hi and bye to her. It is only now, that I feel, that is not enough.

This fear, of my grandma being hurt, of her being sent to the hospital, of her bleeding, of her with the risk of blood lost(I'm not going to go there), only makes me think that I don't cherish her existence that much as she cherishes mine.

I fear that it won't be the same without her, even if I don't see her often.

I fear that I won't be able to show her my graduation day, before anything happens to her.

I fear that I did not show enough love to her the way she loved me.

I fear that there won't be another chance.

I fear the death of my family members.

I thought I was fine with death, as it is part of life, of the cycle of impermanence, but of a family member who has been living under my roof for most of my life, I can't bare to let go. My grandma is more or less prepared, but I'm not, not yet. It is through incidents like this which makes you think otherwise, how anything can happen at anytime, so cherish them, cherish the people, cherish your family.

I love you grandma, I pray and hope everything will be fine.

Fearing Odds

What is one thing that you wanted so badly but could never ever get hold of it?

2011-07-24T22:37:00.003+08:00

Knowledge. I don't know everything about the universe yet

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

Do you believe in treating people right so that they'll treat you right in return?

2011-07-24T22:37:00.001+08:00

I don't expect anything in return if I treat them well, even if they treat me like dirt

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

Is there someone you love more than yourself?

2011-07-24T22:35:00.003+08:00

Ya, everyone else

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

Which is more important to you?Family or Friends?and why?

2011-07-24T22:35:00.001+08:00

Family comes after friends, they are slightly more important. Friends may come and go, family too, but for family, its to death till us part.

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

What would you do to concentrate in your studies?

2011-07-24T22:31:00.001+08:00

Void everything out and drown myself in music

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

What do you do if your friend betrayed you?

2011-07-24T22:30:00.001+08:00

Stay as friends. I never hold grudges, it's my fault for entrusting him/her with that :) If only the other side is responsive.

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

2011-07-24T22:28:00.003+08:00

A power ranger

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

What one thing are you exceptionally good at?

2011-07-24T22:28:00.001+08:00

Thinking

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

What are your views on marriage?

2011-07-24T22:27:00.001+08:00

girlfriend hunt: Game over. Now for a new game: managing a family

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

Would you rather vacation at the beach or in the mountains?

2011-07-24T22:26:00.001+08:00

At the beach, mountains would be awesome and all, but only if i go in a big group.

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

People, An Interesting Bunch

2011-07-17T02:17:00.001+08:00

It could be too late by now. Maybe poisoned? Maybe cured? I don't know. It's not difficult to see whatever happen, happened. I don't really know the reason; I can ask, but indirectly. I seen this situation before, countless of times, I deal with it in may different ways, but it really depends on the individual how you deal with it. I would like being approached instead of approach, but not everyone is approachable, not everyone is open, and if you approach to these individuals, they sway away, or just lie, and hide in the little safe spot of theirs.

At the beach, I learn more about how interesting humans are, and something about body language. This made me think: the tone, action, movement; different from before. I always give myself some leeway, maybe its just today, maybe its just coincidence, maybe my assumption is just stupid and wrong, but I only believe it is true when I see or feel it the second time, which is, learning a bit about body language. I pick things up fast, so I can understand things better, and it just increase the possibility of fact instead of fiction. I will stay optimistic; I know nothing, or something, you hide it, its fine. What you want to say, to show, to express, I'll still trust in you. It may be a lie, and my assumption is correct, but I'm not going to prove it right, because it is just assumptions created by myself. I'm going to give the trust that which all my friends gave to me, no matter who you are, because what is a good friendship/relationship without trust and friends?

I might be a fool, I might be naive, but I'm aware of that, and I believe that in trusting others, they will reciprocate and trust you back. It might hurt if I know if that is not the case, but you are my friend, and I will take that hit no matter what, and I will continue smiling knowing I still have friends, because I will help you, I will stand up for you, I will protect you, I will trust you, because that's what true friends do.

If that's the case, I will not falter, I will not doubt, I will not assume neither right or wrong. I because believe in you: I will not stop, I will not rest, I will not leave till things clear up.

Only I can break myself, no one else can. No one else can break me except for me.

I learned a thing or two today, but one thing I know: Psychology rocks. People, they really are an interesting bunch.

Moving Arrowheads

What kind of game interest you ?

2011-07-12T19:14:00.003+08:00

Soccer, NINJA, and Bang!

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

If you've a chance to create your own world, what will you create and why ?

2011-07-12T19:14:00.001+08:00

A world that I can continue to edit even after I create it

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

Sometimes, It Requires Effort

2011-07-09T00:29:00.001+08:00

I dreamt a dream. A dream where I stayed in these condominiums. there were 5 blocks: these blocks oversee the area where they circled around. The buildings were connect in the centre by walkways and bridges to the multiple platforms in the centre, every 4 levels had one. Buildings too were connected side to side, with escalators. Each platform had different things: Eateries, Gyms, Water Sports, Stadium, Parks, Playgrounds, Theme Parks, Lan Shops, Hideouts, Zoos, Hangouts, Laboratories almost anything you can think off. Surrounding the condominiums is a transparent dome, where it scales as high as the space beyond, acting as protection to the buildings, and a cosmic weather machine, where we can control the seasons, the stars, the moon, the rain, the snow, the sun. And directly outside the the dome, is the beach, surrounding 360 degrees of its circular base.

Within these 5 blocks, there live me, and each and everyone of my friends and family. We hang-out, do things together, enjoy our life peacefully. Although we are shaken by certain matters, we still make our way back to happiness. And as the more friends I know, the taller the building grows. It feels like a Utopia, in a sense.

But it was all just a dream. Reality is never really nice, we escape to somewhere good, some fantasy we construct perfectly, but all is not perfect as the skyscraper falls, because of the flawed base we built on called 'The truth'. We may do it to make yourself contented, but you must be prepared to face life once you come back.

What happened to us? Can't it be like last time? We changed, everyone has.

Life is never perfect the way you want or imagine it to be. The only thing we can do is to change ourselves for the better, and support those that have change, whether for better or for worst.

Only fools succumb to hate, the strong learn to let go.

‎'Enemies' are one of your good friends: they help you make new friends with that common interest; unknowingly, they take one for the team; unexpectedly, they help your reach new heights, and actually do many other things for you, if you do take notice. I never believed in enemies, rivals is more like it.

What can I say? I have many things on my mine, one of which is play. The other is work, which I usually push aside and delay it as much as possible till the last minute. The next is friends, the concerned of their well-being and wanting to make new friends. Family is another, the time I spent with them everyday. And everything else important, which I can't think of right now.

School started, and in another 1-2 months, school is going to end till the next semester. Time flies, literally. I'm eighteen already, and look at the amount of post I have for an eighteen year old on my blog. Busy with life, with work, with friends, with family and the things I stated above. But everything is a new beginning for me. Just that as things ends, new things starts to appear, and new thing are coming out way too fast, things are ending to fast.

Be it fast, be it tough, be it painful, be it hurtful, we just have to carry on with the life with have, because if we have the will, that one life will never reach a game over, and eventually complete the game.

Sometimes, It Just Requires Effort

Missing Findings

If someone is going to buy you a present, what is something that you really wish to have as a gift from someone?

2011-07-08T23:14:00.001+08:00

Nothing much, a simple hug is enough :)

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

Life, Get Over It

2011-06-16T00:22:00.001+08:00

I love to observe, so would you bother?

I love to help, so would you let me?

I love to give, so would you allow it?

I love to advice, so do you need it?

I love to encourage, so do you require it?

I love to appreciate, so do want it?

And I love somethings like this to be returned, so would you do it?

Dedicated to the unsung heroes of the world. May you one day receive instead of give.

Music, a remedy, where you can escape and relax for the madness, and float into your fantasy. Where it gives you self-realization of you and the world you are against. It gives you hope to something you thought lost. And it gives you time to think. Yet, its a drug, where you can dwell in your fantasies for oblivion. Understanding the things which you are unable to grasp, breaking your mental self. Gives you false hope of what you couldn't realize. And you over think, something which is that simple turn complex.

Music, its a cure, and a curse.

How much mental, emotional and physical strain can one person handle? Have I experience it before? Have I seen someone experience it before? Human's have intriguing ways of handling oneself, and working with one another. Classes and cliques of people holds different limits, and works better in ways so unusual even I want to ask 'why'. The thinking of people, the brain that holds everything, and we only use 20% of it. At times, I want to experience this strain, how I succumb to it, or how I overcome it. What will it take for me to stop that pain. It sounds sadistic yes, but the only way to know it is through yourself.

But sometimes, seeing people going through the same course you did helps you understand that as well. And that what I want to know. Its an intriguing process, but in my heart, I can't stand people getting hurt, and that's something my morals would prevent me to understand.

What does it take to make your life great? Do you think your life is good enough? If you don't, then just live that 'awesome' life of yours, or work towards something better. If you do, make it better. Why stop at good when you have that will to make it better?
A friend once said, you have somethings that you are bad in, and somethings you excel at, but no one said that these bad things can become something good. If you think this is a 'great' life, so be it. If you want it to be happy and better, do something about it. It is easier being happy than depressed, just sit down alone, close your eyes and clear your mind.

Well its late, I have a camp tomorrow(actually later). A summery of my life so far:
Do what is given to you and prove them wrong, even how fucked up it is.
Its getting fucked up as the time goes by.
Proving myself is not easy.
There is nothing to prove, so just do it.
Belief in each other is minimum.
My eye-candy eye-candied me on the bus.
Common test.
Studying during common test.
Maplestory(somehow I got into it again).
A small summery made of life in society for us(so far).
Common test ends.
AEM Help-out.
Proposal of captain ball.
Training has just started, and it was... Interesting.
Things just doesn't go in the way I want it to be.
So lets see what going to happen.

Risky Shores.

favourite cereal?

2011-06-02T20:06:00.001+08:00

I Don't eat cereal, I think

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

Would you rather have the ability to fly, or the ability to breathe underwater?

2011-06-02T20:04:00.001+08:00

Fly

Hey Person, Ya You, Ask Something, Ask Anything :D

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

2011-06-01T21:13:00.001+08:00

A Superhero, And I Still Want To Be One Now :D

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

2011-05-24T22:06:00.000+08:00

I enjoy life, enjoy learning, enjoy the company that I have, enjoy the fun, enjoy the laughter, enjoy the appreciation which I get.
Judgement, assumption, passing off remarks, why do we commit these acts of stupidity before understanding why, what, how and who? Why don't we pass judgement after? Why do old habits die hard? Why don't we change? Why won't we change?
I crave for the answers that I sought for, yet the replies take a lifetime, or maybe in a second.

The complexity of life can be simmered down to something as simple as paper.

Well, the common test are coming up, I got a feeling there are people here and there who misjudge me, I see difficult times ahead, simple problems which turns into a big fuss, challenges which lies ahead, and a life which I have to lead. Just today, I went to gym.
Elections for main committee just went up, so let see what happens.
Gut feeling says it not going to be pretty.

The essence of life is still far from my knowledge.

Saplings which requires help

Open Yourself

Personas That I Have

2011-05-22T01:02:00.000+08:00

Multiple personas that I have developed with my different groups of friends. Some know me as the quiet type, others knows me as the kind hearted person, a few know that I'm the crazy one, and many know that I'm very forgiving, but which is my actual identity? I myself don't really know. I have been living between multiple personas, which varies from my SBM peeps, class friends, FOC freshies, secondary mates, Society people, Fencing buddies, cousins, and many other family and friends, that I don't really remember who I actually am, my own personality. Or is this the person I am? To live multiple lives among different people.

See if I can sort these feelings out.

Busy Bees Buzzing

2011-05-20T17:34:00.000+08:00

I finally found the time to blog again! Yay!

Well, life has been, difficult lately. Been busy with projects, friends, homework, CCAs. It's kinda getting a little hectic. No time to play any computer games, the cruelty. The best part is, common test is just two week away. Great.

Well in other news, Transfer Processes: Heat And Mass, or TPHM for short, has cause me much trouble in my studying, cause that is my weakest module of all, and I dislike the way my teacher teaches. So I got to suck up and work on my own.

Anyway, many things has happen, many thoughts ran through my mind, but none actually bother to say there for a few more weeks, so I got nothing more to say here.Just decided to post something for April, because my next post might be due in June.

Some inspiring and no-so inspiring stuff on my Facebook wall:

When you sleep in a lecture and wake up, you tell yourself to listen, then you fall asleep again and again, till your friend whacks you in the head and say 'pay attention! don't sleep!' And will keep doing that till you stay awake.
Reminders: You frequently need them from being a hypocrite, and it usually comes from friends and family.

Put your boxing gloves on and don't take it off, it may stink, but it helps fight through your problems.
Persevere: Enduring through hardships makes you stronger

Yes, you can be emotionally attached to something, bad or good, but remember this: all things/everything are never permanent. It's born, it grows, its tragedy, it dies. Even your own feelings work that way. You can be emotionally attached to something, but always be prepared to face reality, for you will never know when it disappear.
Impermanence: cause nothing is forever

We can't change everyone, but we can start from ourselves. If others don't realize we are trying, we let them harp all they can, because as long you know it is the right thing, change will come soon.

How do yo feel when someone helps you in a problem? Happy and grateful I believe?
When you are helping someone, feel the same way, happy and grateful, because you show compassion and loving kindness.
No matter how frustrated you are when people feel you are incapable or has no need to help, not showing any sense of gratitude and happiness whatsoever, remember this: The fruits of your labour will arrive, eventually.

Singapore has become a giant sauna. On the bright side, people can stop complaining on losing weight

Sundays makes me feel below average

Well I guess thats about all. I'm going offline now, don't miss me

'I See The Way You Go And Say You're Right Again, Say You're Right Again, Heed My Lecture'

Undecided Faith

Nyan cat the new rick-roll?

2011-04-29T01:26:00.001+08:00

Nyan cat should be the new rick-roll, then you can tell your friends you been Nyan-ed.

Well, its been quite some time since I posted something, so why not now? Lately I found out that I can barely keep awake in class. I try my very best, literally my best, to stay awake in class. It is all so boring. My head will tilt to the left, right, back or forth depending on how I sit.
Well, the first week of school is coming to a close, with Friday left. Really? Thank god its Friday. I got a test on Tuesday, and that spoils most of my mood.
But never fret, Nyan cat is always there to brighten up your day. Seriously, it is addictive but stupid.

I just went on Facebook, and saw my secondary school classmates being uploaded and tagged on a photo. Then it came to me: how long has it been since I last met them? What feels like months seems like decades. I miss them, and I miss every other friend I know, even those I see everyday. I sometimes wish we can live in the same block, and then go to the playground to play every evening after doing my homework, which I never do during the evening. And then just have an awesome time with the people I know and love.

I really would not know what to do if I never knew the friends I have now.

Nyan Nyan~

What You Understand Is Not What You Really Know

2011-04-24T02:28:00.001+08:00

A dream occurred to me last night, about me running, running away from evil that I fear, fear of death. Even at the safety of my friends, I just ran. We all ran, but all I remembered is only me left surviving. If I had power, I would have fought, if I had the strength, I would have fought, but in that dream, I was nothing, I just ran. Ran and abandoned my friends. Running away from the horde of people within the chaos of the city. I thought they were after my group of friends only, until I saw the city at the centre of destruction. Buildings burning, corpses lying everywhere, total havoc.
As I was running through what seems like a school hall, I saw a spaceship and people being captured. I saw an iconic super villain cartoon character, Dr. Doom. He tried to zap me with his lightning, and somehow it did not hurt, and I continue running. At that point I knew it was a dream, but I wasn't fully aware as to control my 'fantasy'. As I exited the hall, I was cornered on both sides, and my only way out was to jump on to the roof of a shelter overcasting a paved route, or what was left of it. So I jumped, and I hurt myself in someway, rendering me unable to move.
Weirdly to say, Darth Maul from StarWars approached me, and told me 'it is the end', zapping me with his electrical powers. I found out earlier that I was resistance to electricity, so I pretend to to be hurt and played dead. Some how, rubble and corpses just stack on onto me, and everything became dark. I waited, and waited and waited for what it seemed like an eternity, and I decided to push everything aside.
And what I saw around me was an utopia. I couldn't believe my eyes. The air looked clean, there were flying cars, buildings were as shiny as a mirror which stood tall in the skies. It was the same place, just better.
Did what I fear do this? Was it just a dream within a dream?
And then I woke up.

This dream made me wonder, are humans made to be selfish? Made to protect their own lives only? I was told many times before not to be self centered, not to just think there is only me, and no other. I rectify myself of that long ago, but is it human nature to just run from something we think we can't defeat? That it will cost our lives trying? To sacrifice your friends just so you can live another day? My friend who told me that, is still self centered in his own way. Maybe it is human to be selfish, especially in that current situation, and it is difficult not to think it that way.
Sometimes what you fear might be something not as horrible as you imagine, but you never gave it a chance to do so, so you will never know, forever living in the same suspicion of what you comprehended from one's self-acclaimed assumptions.

Well that was from my dream. Another thing I want to bring about is me being serious. If you want to get a point straight into my thick skull, please show that you are serious in doing so, don't try to make jokes, I won't register that. You want to shot me in anyway possible, sure, but I take it that you are joking and not making a serious comment, because everyone shots me in general, and I take being shot at as a joke if the tone isn't right to begin with. If you love shooting me, especially Brandon, Kai Feng, Alvin and anyone else in general, don't expect me to take anything in, because I'm too used to being shot at. You want to shot me and get it in my head, show some seriousness, and don't laugh about it.

I Can Understand People's Personality, But Not Many Can Understand Mine.

Understanding Impracticality

Thank God Its Friday, Because It Was A Good Friday

2011-04-23T02:07:00.000+08:00

Wonder did god punish Rebbecca Black for that awful song 'Friday' that made to lyrical sense.
Just kidding, not being lyrically incline is bad enough.

We shouldn't spite about Friday.

Why is that my good friend?

Because its Good Friday!!!

Yay! It's Good Friday! Lets sing the I'm A Map Song!!!

*Everyone else stuns*

That's too much Dora The Explorer for me.

Anyway, the moral of the story today is Dora brainwashes kids to think maps and monkeys can speak English, and that today, or yesterday, was Good Friday. Well, woke up feeling all good and happy, maybe because of the review over my little incident, have a feeling she still is avoiding me in all ways possible. Ah, oh well. Found out that my is taking a hell load of time to load up, so maybe its time for some software maintenance. Yet let not fret, I have been invited to go out at 7PM to orchard to lekpah. Awesome, and I got to buy new stuff, and glasses! With my dad and sis! Went to drink after having an expensive dinner at Fish & Co. And painful it was, paying for it I mean.
Took a trip around city, and had fun. Drank some cocktails at Yi Lin's work place, where she made for us personally. I had a Woo Woo, and from what I discovered, lime and apple juice covers up a lot for the vodka taste, and how awesome is that :D
Left early to catch the last train and last bus.

My sentiments exactly, and if I'm not wrong, the relationship will be like the shot clip 'Strangers, Again', or maybe faster than that, because I believe you won't fully understand.

I love short clips.

Don't Know What You Are Thinking, But If I Wanted To Bother, I Might.

Next Friday

When It Comes Clear, I Found My Resolve

2011-04-22T02:27:00.000+08:00

It's not worth the wait. You might be all of that which I thought about, but I found out that something which you are missing.

You think she is all that, you think she is worth it, but after watching this 15 minute short clip 'The Crush', I realize, girls are 'stupid', and by that, it means they don't have the maturity and right thought to settle a problem in which that clears up misunderstandings, assumptions and the bullshit you have been through.
I have been through a lot of crap in 18 years of my life, until the time I realize, just today, why I myself fail. Many factors is based on me, but I just found out, most of the girls I failed at and once liked, did not have that maturity I have been looking for, and I just figured that out few minutes ago. Maybe now, that is what I look into someone if I'm intercepting for a kill. And throughout that amount of girls I once like so much, only one had the maturity to clear up the nonsense, and I found out, she was the only one who actually made me hit rock bottom after trying to go for her and fail. Yet, through that, I gained the most painful experience, but learnt plentiful from there. And out of all the rest, she is still a good friend to me :D

So I decided to finally let go, but, that still doesn't mean I don't want to be your friend, because from everyone you know in your life, you will learn something from them, how big or insignificant, it is still experience.
I just learnt that from you, and I want to give a great gratitude to you and believe we all can let bygones be bygones, start a new fresh as good friends. And to the other guy, who from what I heard lied to me, go for it my friend. You will and forever stay a good friend to me, you help me in many things in both past and present. I forgave and let go of any unhappiness and jealousy, because there is no point being sulky over something and regret it later. Feelings are impermanent, so rather realize it now then later.

And thanks loads to the people who drank with me today, really helped me to think that through, as well as that short clip.

Rescuing Sorrows

We Never Lost, We Had Always Won

2011-04-21T00:46:00.001+08:00

Well, same pattern? Not so sure. So I just not going to assume.

I have seen many things and what I saw within LSCT today, was the bonds we shared with everyone in FOC for that short amount of time. How close we were to each other, how we have tighten the strings intertwine with one another.

I said this in many places, but it officially has to be on my blog:
LSCT lost?
No, LSCT is unbeatable, in terms of cheers, in terms of friends, in terms of family. What we did not achieve, we became stronger, and that will help us in the future, both in LSCT and next year's D4F. Winning? It wouldn't be if no one is together to celebrate that victory. Losing? It wouldn't be if everyone celebrates our best efforts. And from what I saw, we never lost, we had always won from the start.
People, we will be back, and better than ever, as one family :D

And yes we are Awesome FYI.

More Than Winning

So What Should I Think?

2011-04-20T01:15:00.000+08:00

My previous post was about assumption, and assume that I got things logically planned out, but it isn't to what I think it was, or is it?
The thing is, always, whenever I feel down in that way, while blogging or after blogging, she will text me back the message I have long waited for, and she just did. Maybe thats her style, or maybe its done on purpose.I feel bad yet happy, and totally confuse, but, I feel more bad by doubting than having more trust in my friend. I shouldn't have done that. What type of friend doesn't trust their companions? I feel ashame, and am I worth being your friend by saying things about you that way? I just feel horrible.

I do have self-awareness, but it comes at the wrong time.

Yet, I feel that there is another quality inside you: you will not forget about the friends you love and you will always make an effort to make them happy, if it is in your means to do so.
For me to be happy is for me to know the truth, but that has to wait, especially now. The time will come for the truth to be told, but as for now, I stay optimistic, hoping.

I'm Sorry

Impulsion, Assumption and Optimism On The Half

2011-04-20T00:51:00.000+08:00

To some, blogging is a form of escaping reality, but to me, it bring me back to what is happening, and actually provides me time to logic out my feelings. Through understanding comes happiness.

Sometimes, you do things without thinking, its just suddenly, your 'heart', which can be termed as your sub-conscious wantings, just decide for you what to carry out before thinking that 'damn, that was a bad idea'. However, even through that time of impulse, before, during and/or after, give it some thought: Were you aware of what you did?

If you are now, what are you going to do to rectify it if it was a bad decision? And really, be aware of it as soon as possible, cause the longer you drag, people tend to assume.

And the next thing is about assumption. I have repeated this to myself and to other many, many times: Do not assume, it just make an ass out of you and me.

And it does, because at many of times, we assume things without giving it much thought about it, and why we don't give that much thought? Simple, because of once's selfishness. Would it be fair if I assume that Dick is going out with Henry without any proof or evidence to back you up? No, but you will think it that way because you think thats is not my problem. It will become your problem if you have no evidence and spread these things on impulse. Everyone does it, due do lack of self-awareness. To clear things up, ask directly from the source, or, do not assume at all if you have nothing to support yourself with.

And through all of these problems and politics, you calm down and think, maybe this will end soon, maybe solving this would not be a problem, and there kicks in the optimistic side of you. However much you want to be optimistic, prepare for the worst outcome as well, because of the endless possibilities that this world has to offer, whether bad or good, any bullshit can occur. Optimism can only last you that long, and at certain point, you might feel like giving up, as you see the current situation changing, and all that you felt happy for turns too tears. That is one option. Another option is to stay strong to that believe, hoping on what is possibly false hope, until it actually happens, or you hit rock bottom if it doesn't. The last option, stay optimistic, but be aware of the possibility it doesn't turn out the way you want it and forgo what was the past after learning from its mistakes.

Optimism, it gives you a slight sense of joy every now and then, but the outcome may kill you, in a both happy and sad manner.

And I just found out there is a cycle to all this. Impulse was due to Assumption. Through Assumption, comes Impulsiveness. Assumption leads to Optimism. If Optimistic you did not get what you want, that Impulse and Assumption returns.

All in all, the moral is to be self-aware of what you are doing, and why you are doing this. Is it the right thing or the wrong thing to do?

Well, I hoped she would have messaged back, and I got a feeling that what she said earlier on was an excuse to cover up what I already know. I want to get this clear once and for all, but not at such a shot period of time after getting to know her better, it would kill our friendship. If this is true, that you are doing this for the sake of making me feel happy, that is a foolish thing to do, and lying isn't going to help. But if it comes true from the heart then that good. I stay optimistic, hoping that is true. Yet I'm aware of the worst outcome possible. When I got to know you better, then I had a liking over you, and it wasn't at first sight: you have a nice personality, a nice smile, a caring and gentle girl, especially towards animals, whenever you get shot at you don't take it to heart and continue to joke along with others, and a nice companion to talk to about anything, if I and you can find the time to meet.

Yet, if the outcome was what I predicted to be that bad, that just spoil my image of you, but, I believe that all these qualities are inside you, but its just not portraying it to me.

However, I'm self-aware of my actions and limits now, but how about you, give it a thought.

Blogging isn't running away, but self-realization. through it I can understand my problems better, and from there know what to do, plus I make it open to the public so as to not hide anything, because one's secrets can kill an entire population mentally and emotionally, rather than killing a single person. If that one person understands, then I have met an individual who can think at or even better than my level of intellect.

I found out that usually in the first half of the year, that is where the most problems comes occur.

Understanding Y

How do you overcome awkward silence?

2011-04-18T16:42:00.001+08:00

Awkward silence is never an easy thing to overcome, especially if both party doesn't see eye to eye. An easy way is through friends. If you have a friend who is close to that individual, and whom you are on good terms with, your friend may provide some help to ease the tension, because 1-on-1 talks are never easy. That way, both parties will be able to feel at ease because there is someone else who they are close too to chat and relay a message.
The hard way, however, is just by simply understanding why this happen, just let go of whatever causes that awkward silence, and bring up your guts to talk to the other party. This is not easy because not many people have the understanding to forgive and let go of past events.
However, this is impermanent, as long as you make an effort to overcome it, it will disappear faster. Sometimes, it just takes time before that awkward silence goes away, especially when only one side is trying to overcome it.

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

Thinking, Playing and I Owned You MSN

2011-04-18T01:10:00.000+08:00

Well, sometimes, I feel, you are avoiding me for the wrong reasons. Maybe because of the recent incident, and kinda got this feeling that he won't keep his mouth shut. I just want to be clear that all I want is to maintain that friendship I had before. If you are awkward, tell me, and I'll give you some alone time, because I'm not a person who will hold a grudge and let petty matters affect that of what I cherish. What is against my morals, I will not do. If you really can't be friends tell me. I don't want to be a stupid asshole.

Well, just clearing my mind of what I said above, I just received a message, and now I think otherwise, yet I think its just coincident, I'm confused, but nevertheless happy.

Went to explore block 73, had a awesome time at dance4fund practice, learning the dance and playing with the boxing gloves in the meeting room. Went to eat dinner at ChopChop with KF, CY, Alvin and 2 other freshies: Georgina and Melinda. Chunli also came to ChopChop to eat, as well as Laz from Blanka. Had a drink with Laz and Alvin before going home.

Screw MSN and the internet. Gave me so much trouble and crap. I couldn't login to MSN because of my contact list giving me a hell lot of problems, yet the stupid internet kept telling me the wrong information. Assholes. In the end, the MSN help center help me solved it, so how now? Which account should I use? Ah fuck it. I just owned MSN and you know it. (Glen > MSN)

Supper At Anywhere Does Wonders

2011-04-16T10:12:00.000+08:00

(Danial was telling us a ghost story, and then we went for a toilet break)
(Calvin, Chelston and me was in the toilet with another random dude)
Calvin walks into cubical and says: Chelston?
Chelston: What thing?
Calvin: Wait for me in the toilet.
Me: WTH, why you need him in the toilet?
Chelston: Because I scared the light will turn off one by one.
Chelston and Me: LOLZ.

Supper with friends always makes me feel better :D

So I had two suppers, one mentioned earlier, the other today morning at Popeye's, with my freshies and Danial Joseph. Freshies there include Calvin, JingYi, Hayden and Chelston. It was awesome spending the night looking for power plugs, traveling the 3 terminals, making a fool out of ourselves, singing, dancing, telling stories and lame jokes. It made me happy! I love you guys man, all the laughter we shared. Although I took a one hour nap, I woke up the time Zen Hann arrived at the airport. We say our good byes with his buddies and some of the Jeanies who did not taunt the night (Nicholas, Yizhen, Yumni) and Daneal. Took the nice bus service, 27 back home.

I thought of many things on the bus, but not going to post it here. Logic is pwnz0r, especially when you are not irrational, not being rash in your thinking, not assuming things in your way, and when you are high on redbull.

Note to self: Consume more dosage of redbull, at the right time and place

And now I think foresight is a great thing, who knew?

Logical Foresight Wins

Taunting the Airport, So Gangsta!

2011-04-16T00:43:00.000+08:00

I found out how awesome my friends are, how they help me out in times of need. My emo-ness has been voided. Epic-ness.
Well, in that short amount of time I emo-ed at home, I packed my bag, and what did you know? Invitation to Scoops by Brandon, so I rushed down to Thomson Road for that. Enjoyed my time there with YuHan, WeiLer, KF, Alvin and Brandon. Monopoly Deal for the win, and 5 scoop Ice cream all the way :D

Time was short but enjoyable, I'm my normal self again thanks to logic and awesome pals. Now taunting the night with my freshies at Changi Airport terminal 3. Coolness to the max. I think it will be awesome here :D

Short-Termed, Both This Feeling And Yours

Pawnz0r

A Trap Which I Fell For, A Trap Where My Confidence Deters

2011-04-15T21:11:00.001+08:00

Through all the times, I have been thinking, through all the times I plan, but what I did was to no avail, cause there was nothing there anymore. Like my friend once said "You have foresight", and sometimes, I wish my foresight was wrong. Never in my life I wished it was wrong, until now. Logic anyways seems correct, and sometimes I wish it wasn't, but I can't help myself to think logical. No wonder he did not feel threaten, because there was no threat in the first place. Yet, were all this planned by them? Is this a joke to them? I will never know, and I'll never find out. I hate being given false hope, and I always blame others for doing that to me, but instead its my fault for giving me such hope. I don't know how his feelings developed, but the feelings I developed was true, and now it hurts so bad. My pride of being a man has been destroyed by him, while I did not destroy his. I even thought about how not to affect him, but instead affected myself. Why couldn't you tell me earlier before my feelings developed?
Fate is such a cruel thing, but that is life, I always think that being the good guy was fine, but maybe I'm just to good to bully.
Well, I don't think I'll be going for anyone else for the time being, seeing the title. Yet, I can't let petty things forgo a friendship on both sides.
It will be hard to try and be myself again, but thats my karma.
I tried and tried the many times I tried, so just try harder next time, if there is even one.
No matter what, I will thank them for what they have did, and leave what I should has left behind: Nothing happened.

Nevertheless, I'm strong, I'm experienced, I can let it go.

Heartwenching Lies
Heartwenching Denial

What's the biggest risk you've ever taken? Are you glad you took it or do you regret it?

2011-04-14T00:39:00.001+08:00

Just today, I gave up on something just for my friend, and I'm unsure about being glad or regretting it

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

We Gave It A Try, But Failing Is A Part Of Life

2011-04-13T01:42:00.000+08:00

I had Diploma plus Chemistry today, going through the things which we were uncertain about. Went to the gym after, and had an awesome performance rehearsal for our seniors. They loved it, I think. But now we go to serious business.

We were told about our main committee positions for our current batch, and after much consideration, I decided that I want to become Vice President of LSCT Society. Although some might not think I'll be fit for the job, but I'm willing to give back what LSCT Society has given to me: my commitment for their experience. I even planned out of using a schedule booklet to take track of my daily events and write out a rulebook to hand down to my future Vice President after my 2 years of presidency, if I get the job that is. Even if I feel ready for whatever that comes at me, I'm still afraid that I'll let them down. I have the will and heart to learn from my fellow peers and seniors, and if I have the heart, there is no stopping me from completing my task, even if it takes 2 years.

But, even if I don't get to be Vice President, I will still stay committed to do whatever I can contribute back to Society, even if it is a photographer, even if I don't get CCA points.

After the briefing, there was a session called Trashed Talk, where it is a tradition in LSCT to voice it out your unhappiness towards others. To me, in my opinion, the TT session was not all that successful. Encouraging words are nice, but it is because of that, you cannot learn from your mistakes. Due to encouragement, it pulls you even higher before you can fall an understand your mistake. There was laughing here and there, thinking that what we were saying is a joke. The seriousness isn't there, and the session was to no avail, it only help out the minority. And I feel that not everything everyone wanted to say came out.
Many are very emotional people, therefore being more reserve, but what is the point of having all that unhappiness and uncertainty building up inside? If we want to Trash Talk, we really must, or its will be redundant.

This is a side note, but I have notice that when we encounter a common enemy, we will all bond up together to face that person. An example is the Ryu guy who hits girls.

Contemplations Rising

What qualities do you look for when you're dating someone?

2011-04-13T01:13:00.001+08:00

Fun to be with and caring, but if you love someone, even their bad points can be their qualities, and if they love you back, they are willing to try and change their bad points :D

Whatever you can or cannot think of, stupid or intelligent, personal or relationships, just Ziam :D

Now There Is A Title: IKEA With A Little Love

2011-04-12T02:03:00.000+08:00

Well, my post have been title-less since god knows when, but since my blog layout has change, there will be titles given to each post.

Pictures actually attracts readers, but I don't have to do that, I don't think that there is any point in doing so.

Spent an awesome time with ChunLi today, LAN for 3 hours, and then dinner, with a few tricks up our sleeves after that. Thanks CY for inviting me to the outing, appreciated it

I found out that IKEA is an ideal spot for free photoshoots and great food.

Seem that blogging and spilling the beans to my friends really paid off, my mind is off her already, but another comes into the picture. Love, its a weird thing, and it always is. Crushes is also known as puppy love, where you love something for just the outer appearance. Eh, I'll get over it again, eventually. My mental state of mind has overcome obstacles only a few have endured and survive to tell the tale.
Too over-exaggerated? I agree.

Well, thats all I think, nothing much for today, but a blog makeover.

Misused Surroundings

2011-04-10T13:19:00.001+08:00

I woke up wondering about the things I have to do today, and there is a whole lot to do.

Even though I feel that FOC is over and I'm having my freedom now, I still feel stress out.

I'm not the type of person that can sit down quietly and do my homework, I have to play and have fun, enjoy the things I want to do, and avoiding the things I need to do.

Yet I only can avoid it for that long. I'm planning to do my work today, if I can settle myself down to do it.

For myself, I learnt that I can discipline myself if I do not break out of the routine of doing work. Once I do that, it stacks up for me. I think others feel the same too. That's why I need a break, even though I don't like to stay at home, I have to. For the sake of my qualifications. I have to force myself to get things done by today, or so someone ~~kill~~ help me.

Another thing on my mine is Crushes. Its infectious. I was crushing on this girl in FOC, however, to my utter disappointment, she was reeled in by someone else, and I'm guessing it has been damn long. Since its a crush, I should be able to let it go easily?

Wrong.

Somehow, the more I try, the more I can't stop thinking about her. I hope there is a bad side to her, which will make me think twice, and at the most be her good friend, or something like that. My friends, from what they told me, to just go for it.

'If the wedding ring isn't on, its not off-limits' a friend said.

'At least you should uphold your morals' another friend responded.

If I can win a losing battle, it will be one of my biggest achievement which will be told to my children and grand-children, and so fore. Looking at the odds, losing this will just be thrown into the bin of many failures. I thought through failures come success?

Maybe I have not come through enough failures to to know right from wrong, to lead me to what I yearn.

I know of one thing, I'm no expert when it comes to matters of the heart, especially once's self. It Always hurts when you fail at it, but you have no other choice but to stand up on your two feet and reinforce your defenses. It will still hurt every single time you try, but I'll stay strong.

Now what is my brain is saying?

Well, I can't spoil their relationship, it would be against my morals. All I can do is make friends and wait, like being a sitting duck. Either I'll live happily ever after, or just get shot down by the hunter, most probably the lateral.

Well, signing off here, going to take a bath and do what I need to do today.

Itchy Itchy

2011-04-08T19:22:00.002+08:00

Well, the week has been running fast, 2-3 weeks ago, I went for loft, and I had a belated birthday celebration there. A bottle of Bacardi down in one night was my birthday present. Missed training, did proposals, painted the banner, and last 5 days ago, FOC happened. It was tough, tears shed, pumping completed, different feelings for everyone, for the good or bad. Yet we must expect this, we must understand, we must support, and thats what makes a family: understanding, love, support for one another.

FOC has been fun. Seeing all those freshies happy, seeing a smile on their face, the enthusiasm in their cheer, Everything was worth it. And now, we SGLs, write our own story, continue what the AGLs now has been writing for us.

As a game master, my first game felt like a let down, I felt extremely bad for the freshies I was leading, but this did not pull me down, and it just strive me to do better for my next game, and it was perfect. Everyone was very into the game, and the cheers and smiles on their faces, satisfying.

There is however, someone that stole my eyes, but nevertheless, that someone has strings tied, for very long, so being a friend to me is fine. Well, life never let you get your way, but still, make whatever you have of your life the way you want it. If Asians girls were just easier to approach than Americans, men like us would not have such a problem. Well, time will tell, you only can cling on that tread of hope for that long.

I learnt so much during FOC, many things which I haven't, but thats not the end, I still have a lifetime to learn more, and I'm keen on doing it. Maybe try something new, like rap.

Least Unexpected

2011-03-21T02:00:00.000+08:00

It was 20th, and now its 21st. The end of Pisces and the start of Aries. I the person that is both: on the 20th March, I'm both fish and ram. This could be the result of my many possible characteristics and personalities, but hey, who am I to kid.

Well, yesterday at 0000Hrs, I officially turned 18. And I was surprised to see so many people actually having the heart to use their time posting a happy birthday wish on my wall, and there were many I didn't expect to do it as well. I still remembered that only the day before, I was starting up my Foursquare account after a evening prayer to the people in Japan and after eating Haagen Daz at the Esplanade with SBM. A massive tsunami of Birthday spam came in. I appreciated the spam people, and I wish I could comment back, but I need the energy to blog, before I go to bed.

Well for one, thanks to everyone who took the effort to wish me a happy birthday, it means a lot. Second, thanks for the memories to all those people I spent my time with, as I recalled them after noticing the people who commented, love you all guys, and gals. For those who wished me a happy birthday and who I don't really know, thanks guys for making a stranger's day happier, awesome people I have to say. Lastly, thanks to the SBM peeps today who I celebrated with today(or yesterday).

I was actually touched by the amount of people who wished a happy birthday to me, from my primary school up till the polytechnic I'm studying in now. I have seen so many people up till now, met many awesome friends, shared the joy together, and then we parted, drifted away from everyone, yet the memories lasted forever. It was a pleasure meeting all of you, I cherished those moments, and are the only thing that keeps our friendship going. I never thought I made a big impression in people's memories, but I was wrong.

I really wish I could tell each of you guys individual things in the Facebook comments, but I don't have the time or energy to finish it. The most I can do is acknowledge them with a 'like'. I love all you guys no matter what happens and thank you for all the things you have done for me till now. I would not have been what I am now without anyone of you people.

Well,a birthday isn't completed without a birthday cake, but also, without a wish, but I'll come to that after I talk about my first day of my 18 year.

I went for community service today to distribute food items to the elderly and financially challenged, a good deed to do on my first day of 18. Went together with the SBM peeps. Was teamed up with FuZhong. It was quite fast, and we came back one of the earliest, where we started eating light snacks, which could be considered as lunch a that time. Headed down to Superdog at 313 to chill. Kevin did something amazing, and after Kevin received his X-Box achievement 'Ego boost +2, 10G', which was after a few hours, we went for dinner, and then a nice game of LAN before chilling out again. Heading home tired and sleepy.

Well I can't give everyone a cake here, but I can tell you my Birthday wish, which is hoping for everyone to be well and happy.

Un-shattered Memories

2011-03-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

What do tears represent?
Fear? Of those you imagine.
Love? For someone you lost.
Enjoyment? From that unstoppable laughter.
Remorse? Realizing the horror you did.
Lies? Shedding for deception.
Pain? Undesirable physical feeling.
Attention? A lure for concern.
Touched? By the actions or words shown or spoken.
And the list flows on...
Tears, what else can you mean?

Yup I have been away for long, but exams were starting and, you guessed it, I was lazy. Been studying with friends these few weeks. Exams are about to end now, hopefully it was all for the best. Well, nothing more to say than good luck to myself. A new post will be on its way soon, hopefully.

Indecisive Lies

2011-02-15T23:20:00.000+08:00

I decided to pluck out all my courage(and time) to do what I should have done a long time ago: Blog.

Well, it has been the start of the new year for, 2 weeks already, and for ditwits who doesn't know, I mean the Chinese New Year, and it doesn't seem smooth sailing for most people, especially social life, but for me, it more towards my studies. These few days where school was optional, I played, too much, and what I should have done was study, for the semester exams. I foresee this is going to happen in the years to come, because coincidentally, Chinese New Year happens to land around the same time, and I ain't in no mood to study during Chinese New Year.
In awesome news, I have learned Mahjong and I'm awesome at gambling, period. I expect to lose not by a lot when I always gamble, but these few weeks, this rooster(Chinese Zodiac) has been win big, except for the first time I played majhong, then the next time I won back my loses.

Test and more test! Which has already been done and over with.

It's like an angel harping in my left ear 'you better study you A-Ho! Or you are going down!', while in my right ear, the devil seductively whispers 'No study. Study bad, play! Play!'(Somehow, no part of that sounds seductive)

Well, the post ends here I guess.

Sanity Shorten

2011-02-02T20:57:00.001+08:00

So whats new? Nothing much, blades and competitions, studies and test. Last Saturday was team events in Epee. My team lost, and they lost not because of me, heck, I did not even fence. Well, it was alright, still had a great time after. Ate my way through Sumo-House for lunch. We skipped out on Koi that day. Took 147 bus service to SBM, and went out for dinner and then supper. Moving backwards, nothing much to talk about, other than tons and tons of pumping during LSCT training. Woke up with aches which lasted a few days. Back to this week, it was quite a great half week so far. '12 points' and 'Gayboy' became Captain and Vice-Captain respectively, for Epee, congrats, and Louis is Vice-President/Publicity for Fencing. Had dinner after the AGM. Took a bus home. Wasn't paying attention on Tuesday, decide to start playing my PSP on Monday, and well, got distracted, and with exams coming, Damn. Well, no school today, and a lovely reunion dinner.

I still remember when I was a kid, always looking forward to Reunion dinners, how I ate till I literally drop, one time I actually vomited after, awesome stuff. Yet as time past, Reunion dinner seemed like any other dinner, just with a steamboat and family members around. I don't get that joy and feeling of it being a reunion dinner. Ate lesser than I once did. Yet is nice to see everyone sitting down and eating together at the table, that feeling is pleasant. Maybe thats the reason why I don't sit at the dinning table to eat, even if I did, it would be with my gadgets or newspaper. When nobody is sitting with you when you eat, it just feels lonely.

I Don't Want To Live Just Earn A Living, I Want To Live An Extraordinary and Amazing Life.
So What Extraordinary To You?

I Wonder How Reunion Dinners Are In Other Households.

My Awesome Future Lies With Me And My Not So Awesome Studies.

Unachieved Achievements

2011-01-24T14:35:00.000+08:00

It's times like this where I blog: During lessons of non-importance.
Well, not totally.

For war to end, one must lower their pride.
For the tension to cease, bring down that ego.
If no one gives in, then just fight till you realize you have to.
Flames doesn't extinguish with another flame, water does.

1 week gone, with many trainings, a fencing competition, and dinner with SBM after. Koi-ed on Saturday and Sunday. My early hongbao money from my God-ma was basically used to buy a fencing mask, which I'm going to get it 2 months later, $45 dollars worth of Taxi fare, a $3.30 dinner, $8 of Koi, and thats about it. $45 dollars why? decided to take a slingshot journey from Clementi to Hougang, and then from Hougang to Bugis. I did not want to bring my fencing equipment down to Bugis for dinner. I also experienced how being perfume-sandwiched felt like from aunties that looked like desperate hookers, in the bus, and it was horrible. The overused of blusher and different coloured eyeliner. Scary shit. Anyway, Sunday was mainly for studying, but its been more of a loaf-around-and-slack day. Went down to pass the fencing stuff to the girls, went to buy Koi, and decided to take bus service 147 from Clementi to Hougang. Yes, a almost full trip, excluding 2 bus stops. around 1 hour 45 minutes to 2 hours, if there isn't any traffic congestion. Watched a episode of How I Met Your Mother On The Bus, before my battery died out. Started downloading Korean songs on my phone to listen. 147 is a fun bus. Love to take a full trip on it again.

Time to pay attention.
Or wait for the next class.

Study Time

2011-01-14T22:17:00.000+08:00

Why do we grieve over death?
Death is a sad thing.
But would the ones you love want to see you in such a sad state?
Like many of your love ones.
They make you happy by swallowing the pain of their own.
Not to spoil the mood.
Not to make others worry.
Not to make you upset.
And when death strikes on them.
Their efforts was to a waste.
Being sad is inevitable.
Crying doesn't make you weak.
But don't cry tears of despair.
Cry tears of joy.
Keep a smile on your face.
Be glad of the times spent together.
The memories shared.
The love you gave.
The times you argued and forgave after.
The things that made them special to you.
And most importantly, be happy you met such an awesome person in your life.

I should start to bring sandwiches to school for lunch again.
I'm on a tight budget.

An area where I can modify the landscape and environment, increase or decrease the size of the area, control the time and weather: sounds like a good place to simulate real-life Warfare, all I need now is paint-ball guns, nerf guns or lazer-tag guns, and the area I mention above.

The Razor-Switchblade might be cool, but its 7-inch screen is a turn off.

Dear Glen, this is not Secondary school anymore, so stop being an asshole failing quizzes and tests. It might give you the drive to do better, but its screwing with your GPA as well.

Love,
Titiny Qwerz

OMG, aliens are attacking Earth! What other reasons is there to prove all the dying fishes and birds? Anyway, its time for: Recap of the week! It's been a tough week, and by tough I mean physically enduring the aching induced from physical training. Attended both fencing training and LSCT training, with 50 pumping everyday, thanks to an agreement I made with Kugan to do them with him for, well, for our future in NS. That's what I think, but it sounds wrong as well, so I say small little men must be turning the world gay, or maybe its dolphins, like those at Langkawi, clever little things, they might rule the world some day. In other news, I think I'm sure to fail my last Maths quiz, oh crap. Well, normal like any other day, just want to say I like Hokkien Mee, so I'm dedicating this post to my favorite hawker food.

K-Pop, J-Pop, more music.
I need a iTouch.

I just took a 2 hour bus ride.

Frozen Flame

2011-01-12T11:01:00.000+08:00

Its good to see everyone happy.
For those who I don't see happy,
Well, stuff happens, so just get over it.

The school library likes playing modern medieval music.
Sounds like a contradiction to me.

So the Chinese uses the Sciences and discovered that shaking your boobies frequently gets you bigger boobs.
So ladies, shake your boobies.

Actually, if to others, slightly below average looking girls are not really that bad looking.
Just put on some make-up, wear nicely dress clothings and you don't look all that bad.

Stop sending me game request on Facebook!
Please?

We Learn From Lectures, But We Don't Lecture Our Friends.
We Are Not Perfect, So Don't Lecture Us On Our Behavior.
Somethings Can Be Change, While Others You Have To Accept.
So What Is A Friend?
Someone Who Tells Things To You Straight In The Face Even If You Don't Want To Hear Them.
Someone Who Makes You Happy.
Someone Who Accepts You For Who You Are Even If Bad Habits Doesn't Change.
Someone Who You Don't Expect Much From But Will Always Try To Be There For You.
Someone Who Gives Advice Whether You Choice To Listen To It Or Not.
Someone I Would Give Help And Advice To When They Need It.
Someone I Don't Expect Much From.
Someone I Would Accept Them For Who They Are No Matter What They Do.
Someone I Would Make Them Feel Happy.
Someone I Would Tell Things Straight In Their Face Even If They Don't Want To Hear It.
Someone That I Would Forgive Always And Apologize To If I Did Something Wrong
Someone That I Love.
Someone That I Trust.
Someone That I Would Take A Bullet For.
Someone That I Spent Memories With.
So What Is A Friend?

So the pass week has been a little busy, with open house, soccer, Nigel's run for your life amazing race church event. Well it was all fun and tiring. I also had to get my computer fixed, another reason for not blogging. Lessons as usual before open house, and cancelled during the event. Some screwed up information which wasn't relay on properly. Overall, was a fruitful week. I got the urge to train-up this week, mainly due to the fact that I'm starting to do pumping everyday with Kugan. About my laptop? It's fixed already, went to IT help-desk to get my programs back, and mainly did a few stuff to speed up my computer. Well, IS lessons are going to start later. I'm think I'm going to get a shit first.

6 Weeks Till Exams, Bummer.

Breaking Stress

2011-01-03T10:50:00.000+08:00

Choosing One Out Of 3 Things Is Hard, And I'm Having That Dilemma Now.
Being Forgetful Sucks, Especially When It Comes To Remembering Events.
I Tell People To Book Me As Early As Possible So I Won't Go For Other Events.
But When I Forget Is Another Thing All Together.

(Approached 1st)
Benefits: Bonus,
Disappointment For Not Attending: Minimal,
Fun Factor: Average,
Girl Factor: Above Average-Extremely High,
Time Consumed: 3-4 Hours,
Positive Attendance: Possible Outcomes Include Stupidity, Craziness, Finding A Girlfriend, Boredom, Waste Of Time, Nothing Conducive, CCA Points.

(Approached 2nd)
Benefits: Inversely Proportional To Time,
Disappointment For Not Attending: Huge,
Fun Factor: Excellent,
Girl Factor: Random,
Time Consumed: More Than 24 Hours,
Positive Attendance: Possible Outcomes Include Awesome Craziness, Getting To Know More People, Maybe Getting To Know More Girls, Hell Loads Of Fun, Major Tiredness, Prize For Winning 1st-3rd.

(Approached 3rd)
Benefits: Great And A Possible Bonus,
Disappointment For Not Attending: Below Average,
Fun Factor: Varies From Above Average-Excellent,
Girl Factor: Minimal,
Time Consumed: 2-3 Hours,
Positive Attendance: Possible Outcomes Include Being Better Friends, Trains A Skill, Have Crazy Fun, Figure Out Positions, Good Exercise For The Legs And Heart

Well, I should find someone to help me decided on this, but anyway the next factor on my mind is Qing Gong Yan at Changi Chalet! Well a summery on it cause lecture is going to start soon. Basically, food, minimal sleep, Nerf, dress-up, countdown, sparklers, more food, BBQ, events, more Nerf, being scared of the toilet, and long hours of watching people play majhong. That about raps things up, time for lessons.

Time Is Key, So What Is Door?

New Year, New Aspirations.

An RPG World.

Head Fake.

2011-01-01T00:00:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY 2011 1ST EVER POST!!!
SEE YOU PEOPLE SOON!!!

2010-12-31T02:55:00.001+08:00

Rude, Spoilt, Horrible, Ignorant People, I Give You My Blessings.

I Got The Urge To Play Sims, So I Bought It. Awesome.

I Rid My Table And Cupboard Of The Messiness! Yay! Giving Myself 3-5 Months Before The Messiness Returns :/
Or Maybe Less :(

Friends Come, Friends Go, Friends Return, Friends Reunited, Friends Die, Friends Forever, Always In Our Hearts.

Have I Mentioned I Wanted To Play The Piano?
Have I Mentioned I Wanted To Take Up Photography?

I Just Heard My Father Pronounce 'Justin Bieber' As 'Justin Blu-Bleh'

Stay Strong And Endure. Your Way Might Be What You Think Best, But Give In To His/Her Way To Make It Better. That's Something Required In Love. Maybe One Day, They Will Find Out That Yours Was Better, Maybe They Won't, But Be Happy You Made That Person Happy And Smile.

Well, I can't thing of anything else to type, so lets start with the epic time I had at the BBQ/Christmas party gift exchange with LSCT! So awesome. Although it was me and Kaifeng doing the BBQ-ing, as expected. Aside from us cooking alone and starting the fire, we did have company once in awhile, and after cooking everything, we had an awesome and great time at the function room. should have catered food though. Got cookies as a Christmas present from JeiShi cause she forgot to buy the gift, but it was OK, as long as it came from her heart. I was actually going to get my Nerf gun back, but I swap my number with Royston so he could get it instead. Got another Christmas present from Alvin: an awesome Soccer ball plushie! :D Headed home later to have a good nigh rest.

[23 December] Gym-ed and swam with Gerald at my house, long time since I met him. Had some good catching up to do. Then after, met up with Ryan, Darren and Jeremy for a awesome dinner and much catching up. I say, I really missed my secondary schoolmates. The buddies I haven't met up with yet is JiaLiang, Corey, GuoSheng And Nigel.

[24 December] Dinner with my mum's side of the family for Christmas. Also been a long time since I saw them. Had a great time with my family, especially my cousins. Steamboat dinner, but vegetarian, of course. Since most of the food was flour, expect yourself feeling bloated fast. Christmas gift exchange was ongoing as we ate. 2 shirts, a wool-woven beanie, IKEA tray shelf, Taka vouchers accumulating up to $50, deodorant and $20 hongbao.

[25 December] Christmas at home.

[26 December] Shopping with the Tans, my parents.

[27 December] Went to Linus house with Darren. Long time since I met him too. He learn to play the keyboard, which I also can't wait to learn as well. Awesome. Went for dinner and had a nice chat. Bought Otah and bubble tea for supper and went home to prepare for camp.

[28-29 December] Trial camp, and my body wasn't feeling well since after CEP, but still went nevertheless. And no regrets. Relived the games we experienced during FOC, not excluding Ice-breakers. Forfeits included. Learn a few new cheers, and a modified versions of what I have heard from other camps, along with a few game too, like grandma and grandpa. Funny shit. Food was the usual, rice was dry, and it is usually the meat and the drinks which would be finished. Dirty games made us take a 1 hour bath, wash my hair 3 times to get the gunk out, took Tingyan 6 times. A night walk which shocked the hell out of me, a treasure hunt where we were unable to find the elusive red bra, and a Mabel Thong who ate chilli by accident for lunch and finished 5-6 pieces of bread for breakfast. Received our postings for FOC: I'm in Games, which isn't bad, but see if I can op to Welfare. Well, not everyone was happy about their postings, but we try to make the best of it, while some are eager to op to other positions. Went to MacDonald's for dinner and talked even more about the postings and FOC. Went home with my wallet taken away by Royston and Edwin. But got it back at AMK MRT bus-stop from Edwin. Went home to get a good nights rest. Overall, beyond legendary.

[30 December] A day before Qing Gong Yan celebrations and 2 days before the new year. Went shopping again with my dad and had a great time playing nerf with my SBM peeps, even though I slipped and fell. Went home to clear half of my room. What a great achievement! Oh! Forgot to mention, I bought Sims 3 and its expansion. Awesome. And it came with a cool water bottle, double Awesome.

[31 December] Typing this, and going for Qing Gong Yan with SBM at Changi Chalet later till the 1st of January. Most probably installing Sims 3 too. :D

So how was my school holidays?
My answer: It was worthwhile, meaningful, awesome, loved every minute of it, and not a minute wasted in this 2 weeks. Totally awesome.
Well what is there more to say?
My Christmas Resolution And A Recap Of Well, A Short Recap Of 2010.

2010 has been a great year. First year in Polytechnic, went back to SBM as a frequent member, continue having fun with my secondary school buddies and meeting new friends along the way. Seeing a wholesome of pretty girls at school, became the class rep, joined Fencing and LSCT Society, meeting great and awesome friends. Doing crazy stuff with them, fence with them and bonded with them. There were times of trouble and misfortune, times of tension and dispute, but we were able to overcome these obstacles, and even if we didn't, we will eventually. Friends come, friends go, friends reunite, friends disappear, friends forever, in our hearts.
Not everything was smooth sailing in 2010. Grades, studies, homework, misunderstandings, disputes, events, stress, more stress. Even for the world, Global warming, Miners trapped in all sorts of places, Slashing incidents here and there, BP oil spills, PSA touching you everywhere, Catholic priest doing bad stuff again, many many fails, many bad games and Justin Bieber. But from Destruction comes Creation, from the Chaos comes the Light. The discovery of a poisonous element that be part of the building block of life, closer we are to curing AIDS, further advances in technology, the IPhone4 and ITouch with a Camera, more fails, more Youtube videos, COD:BlackOps and other awesome games, more hot ladies, and well, many, many more.
As the year is coming to a close, and 2011 is lying and awaiting for our welcome, we are all growing, ageing but becoming wiser. We are prepared to face the full force of 2011 and whatever awaits, even the truth of 2012, so pack our bags and prepare all your weapons and equipment, 2011 is going to be tough.

But I am tougher.

New Years Resolution? Here's a few:
1) May All Be Well And Happy.
2) Pimping Up My Entire Room.
3) Improvement Of Grades.
4) Get My Full Set Of Fencing Equipment.
5) Learn The Piano/Keyboard.
6) Get A DSLR Of My Own And Learn Photography.
7) Go Out More With All My Awesome Friends And Family.
8) Become A Better Person.
9) Get A Girlfriend.
10) World Peace.
Just These Few Will Do :D

So What's Left?

A BELATED MARRY CHRISTMAS AND AN EARLY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAY YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND MY NEXT YEAR BLOG POST!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye 2010, It Was Fun. Hello 2011. Make It Fun.
Best Regards,
Glen 'TitinyQwerz' Tan

2010-12-22T11:02:00.000+08:00

Incoming Post
*Beep*
*Beep*
*Beep*
Transmission Fail.

Well that didn't work. So the 2 week term break has started, and I started it off with Camp Ehi-Passiko. A 4-day camp, but for organisers like me, it was more like a 5-day camp, where we started it off with day-zero. Well, that was the only time I slept in the bunk, and on the last night. Well, with all fun and games, and many many water bombs. We had an awesome time, not to mention the night walk on the last night, scary shit, but all-in-all, what I wanted to earn out of it was to tighten the knots of our friendship, and tie new ones as well, and I did, satisfied much :D Skits, Nerfs, Food, Water Bombs, More Food, And More Water Bombs, Massive Robot War, Sharing Sessions, Meditation, Night Mission, Water Bombs, Food, And Water Bombs. Overall, it was just awesome :D

Well, had lunch after the camp, and headed to Dhoby Ghout for pool. Went home to take a bath and went out with Fu Zhong, Wen Shi, Forester, Wen Chong and Rayner for a movie. Tron: Legacy, had stunning visual effects that blew your mind off, but storyline and character build up was average, or even lower than that. Overall, I give it a 6/10, due to the lack of action, and bad story telling, but awesome visual effects and graphics. Well, I went off to play LAN with Earnest and bunch. TF2 was awesome, but our team always loses out in points :/ Well went home after.
Played a game in the MRT with Ernest, Jian Yong and Kevin. The game was: guess which pretty girl drop at which station. I lost my bet for all 4 pretty girls, so gotta buy 4-6 tei pengs for them.

Well, meet Brandon, Kai Feng and Thet yesterday to check on the BBQ stuff, and to buy some presents. Ate like a king yesterday at Chop Chop, slack like crazy at Brandon's house, and took the long way home, which was sending Thet home with Kai Feng first, and then MRT-ed back home.

Well got to go out for the BBQ soon :D

Mockery Is The Result Of Pride, Jealously, As Well As A Form Of Interaction.

Time Ticking

2010-12-13T08:02:00.002+08:00

Actually, The Hardest Game Has The Easiest Method To Complete It. Saying Its Hard Is Actually Simple.

Pessimists Are Realists With Logic. Optimists Are Protagonists With Beliefs.

It's the common test week, so I'm here in school early to study. But its an hour early before the Library opens, so decided to blog.

So spent my weekend chopping wood at SBM, being grossed out at maggots on cat dung(still itchy even thinking about it, eww...), packed the storeroom, and found out that my acting role in camp was the super secret weapon, heh, who knew. Well had a nice dinner with them after, and went home. Did I study on Saturday? Yup.
Well, my Sunday was spent well. Woke up, wash up, turn on the TV, study, play, watch TV, and did a common test paper. overall, 79.5% for that test, not bad, if they would just help me round it up, but you know, I mark my own test very strictly, so if I left out something which I might feel important, I would take away the mark.

Nobody said it was a crime, neither was it wrong. Yet, I feel such a pervert for looking at pretty, hot, cute girls and ladies, as well as their, put it bluntly, boobies, or for the minors, their top half. Yet after thinking so, what is my definition of Ji-Kok-Peh? Well, its a old man, looking at very young girls, where the age gap is around more than 50+ years, then I consider that as a Ji-Kok-Peh, pervert, or the conventional term, paedophile/Pedo-bear. And if that's the case, then child porn is expected in that's person's phone. If this does not apply to you, then go and admire the beauty around you.
Well, girls should be glad that guys look at them, and their chest muscles. It is to let them know that they are either beautiful, hot, pretty, cute or whether they have something on their face. At least we tell you, indirectly, that you have something on your face, or in your teeth, instead or just laughing at you. So girls, rejoice that guys admire your beauty, and guys, rejoice that we were bless with two big, watermelons.
If you aren't bless, then its karma, accept it.
Yet you can't, blame a guy's love for girls and beauty. It's in all the guy's DNA, the X chromosome is the cause, yet having child porn in your phone just mean your screwed, or your DNA is spoiled. Like Phil said 'don't scrutinise a guy's love for Asian girls', or something similar to that. Child porn is just sick and wrong.
I'm defending for guys all around the world, so if a mob of pretty, cute girls come after me, don't stop them, anything else, please help.
Boobies, there I said it.

well its 7:58 AM, going to the library now.

12 Days To Christmas, Lets Start Singing.

Have We Been Too Hard On Ourself? Take Some Time To Look Around, And Relax. Life Will Actually Feel Better.

Study Testing

2010-12-10T22:34:00.001+08:00

Hello!
I somewhat remember having a fencing competition, losing in teams semi-finals, losing 3rd place match for teams, and losing my black jacket on the same day. For individuals? Out in the round of 32. But it was all in good fun, and Hwa Chong is a screwed up place, no offence... To the girls in HCJC. All team event matches was with Hwa Chong, how stupid was that. Oh, and a bird was walking on the piste, and then to the next, and the next, because Sheng Wei was too scared to pick it up and chase it half-way across the hall. So, overall, it was awesome.

Other than that, test and quizzes for the week. Been going home early to study, but that totally sounds like a lie, even right now. CCAs are cancelled, what a bummer. Its like light years since I hanged out with the LSCT peeps and fencing friends. Feel so sad about it. With the common test around the corner, I only talk to my classmates, and head home after.

Not that my classmates sucks, they are awesome, just that I haven't seen that awesomeness yet. Its like a fortune teller prophesying that you will be living on an island with hot Asian women, especially Japanese, and yet can't grasp that bit of heaven, until it comes knocking at your doorstep.
And I'm still waiting for a bunch of Asian girls to come knocking at my doorstep.

Well, introverts are good at hide-and-seek, while extroverts are good at girls, and I'm kinda in-between: I'm not good at hide-and-seek, and I'm not good at women.

I miss my CCAs buddies, want the class to bond, want to meet my secondary school friends, get closer to SBM peeps, hangout with my cousins, want to travel the world with all of them, be good at fencing, be better at photography, and be great at the Keyboard/Piano, get the girl, my PhD, and achieve my lifetime goal of being a great, well re-known Scientist, or just a great Scientist.
Sounds like the Sims:
First name: (Titiny) Last Name: (Qwerz)
Traits: Popular, Smart, High Achiever, Lazy.
Lifetime Achivement: Be a well re-known scientist (+35,250 Lifetime points)
I should play the Sims again.

When Life Give You Lemons, Wait Till Christmas Presents.

When I Die, Who Will Come To My Funeral? And What Will They Say? I Wonder.

Common test is next week, and I'm still blogging, that is so 'uncool'.

Living Life At Medium.

Love Unforgotten

2010-11-29T22:12:00.002+08:00

Adding In A Small Post To The Previous Post.

Want To Travel Overseas For A Holiday With These Group Of People:

LSCT GLs, which must include, mainly:
Alvin, Royston, KaiFeng, Brandon, Issac, TingYan, Edwin, Nicholas, JeiShi, Clara, Elena, Joyce, Thet, Michelle, Yu Han.

Place we should visit: South Korea (But Not At This Time)

Secondary School Buddies, which must include, mainly:
Ryan, Darren, GS, Jeremy, Corey, Nigel, JL, WZ, Gerald, Alex.

Place we should visit: Japan, And Maybe Detour To Korea (If Corey, Nigel And Gerald Is Able To Pay)

My Cousins, which must include, mainly:
Darren, Sam, Cleon, Keith, Ming Ming.

Place we should visit: Switzerland (If Our Parents Allowed Us)

Fencing Peeps, which must include, mainly:
All Epeeist.

Place we should visit: France Or Germany Or London (Epic-ness)

1A06 Friends, which must include, mainly:
Kugan, Alex, Melvin.

Place we should visit: America Or Australia or England (Cause We Will Fail At Translation)

Well, I said mainly, so the rest are invited too :D
But First, I Must Be Able To Buy A Private Jet That Can Fit Around 23 Passengers.
And Needs Licensed Pilots.
That's Where You Come In Ryan And Alex :D

But We Also Could Combine Everyone Together In A 60 Seater Business Class Plane.
First Class Not That Many Seats.
And If That's The Case, I'll Be Their Travel Tour Guide Around The World.
From Singapore To Australia, America, Switzerland, France, Germany, London, South Korea, Japan And Back.
But I Need A Bus Driver.
Both Left And Right Hand Drive.

Flying High

2010-11-29T21:15:00.002+08:00

Rewind to the the Thursday, where I had many test, but turned out to be pretty good, to my standards... Actually wanted better though. Was it a Friday I went to Alvin's house? Should be, I remember camping with Royston at the LSCT's ODA booth before we went to his house, due to the fact that Kaifeng and company had an urgent make-up class, so me and him got caught up doing it. Awesome time spent. Slacked, had pizza, and watched 3/4 of Transformers there. Had a camp on the 20 and 21 of November. Monday was a boring day, don't remember what I actually did on that day... I think I went home early. Tuesday, something of significance was playing FIFA 11 for the 3 hour break with Alex and Melvin. And fencing PT after. Wednesday, volleyball-ed and Jump-started, followed by LSCT training. My name was used for a group name, so awesome. Went to bath and had MacDonald's. Thursday, Computer, Physics and Maths, simply put it, Geek-day of my entire week. Rushed to do my Engineering Maths tutorial, handing it up to him in his pigeon hold after lessons. And closing to the weekends, Friday, where we slack and play. Went for gym orientation and met with Kugan, Alex and Melvin after their band performance. Talked and relaxed, then headed for home. Saturday and Sunday, slacking and playing. Saturday was great spending time at SBM, and we were front page news on Straits Times. Well, good thing about today was being able to meet up with GS.

Jealously... Lazy To Think.
Hatred... Did Before.
Some Poem... Lazy.
I Been covering Through Many Things.
Repeatedly.
TSA... Boring, And Doesn't Concern Singaporeans.
Korea and North Korea... As Long As We Are Not Enslaved.
Friends... Done That, But More To It.
Slashing Incidents... Need To Be Stopped.
Retards... Need To Be Stopped Too.
This... Needs To Stop.

Searching For Google Gets You Google.com.
Yay! But I Don't Get The Logic Of It Being Fun.

Listening To 987FM every time on my way to school and back.
How awesome is that.

Lazy To Edit The Capitals Above.

Common test is two weeks away.
Lazy To Edit The Above Too.

Lets Play GE.

Laziness Overwriting

2010-11-18T01:37:00.000+08:00

What You Define As Weird Might Not Be The Same As What I Define As Weird.
Majority As I Call It, Or I Might As Well Say The Society, Makes These Unspoken Rules That Says 'We Are Not Suppose To Do *Insert Action Here* Cause Its Weird/Rude/Impolite/Disrespectful'.
But Note The Word 'Unspoken', And The Word 'Suppose'.
We Were Taught To Be 'Polite' And Not 'Disrespectful'.
We Were Told To Be 'Normal' And Not 'Weird'
But What Is Polite In Some Cultures Maybe Disrespectful In Others, And Vice Versa.
What Others Believe Is Weird Might Be Normal To The Rest, And Vice Versa.
Take For Instance, A Scene Of A Group Of Teenagers Talking Loudly On An MRT.
Other Passengers Feel Its Rule And A Nuisance For Them To Talk Loudly Cause It Is In A Public Area, And Annoying The Other Passengers.
The Group, Feel That It's Fine Because In The Tunnel Where The MRT Is Travelling Through, It's Noisy, And When In Other Public Places, Speaking Loudly Did Not Affect People That Time, Or Was Not Complained Or Told Off By These People, Therefore Thinking Its OK To Do It.
But Even By Saying This, Does Implementing Pain, Mental Or Physical, On Others Something That Is Of The Norm?
Those Who Kill, Those Who Rape, Those Who Injure, Is It A Reason Other Than Being Hurt Inside Themselves Or The Result From A Bad Experience?
Here Comes A Question Of Knowing Right And Wrong.
But What Is Right To You, Might Be Wrong To Others, Vice Versa.
And That's What The Culture Believes And Accept That These Things Are Wrong.
But To The Bad Guys, Other Than Being A Psychopath Which Makes You Think In That Manner, Maybe That's What They Believe Is Right, But Right In What Way?
Justice? Fun? Pleasure?
But What I Say Here Narrows Down To Each Individuals Believes.
What You Think Is Right, Wrong, Rude, Weird, Respectful, Polite Comes From What You Believe.
And Yet It Can Be Greatly Affected By Society And Culture.
I Just Created An Infinite Loop In This Topic.
Read Sentence 2 To Know Why.

Well, a week went by, actually 10 days, but you get the idea. A test, no, 3 tests in a few hours, such a pain. S&S was awesome yesterday, I had to say, and we rocked the house down! Though the cleaning up sucked. A fencing training where none of our Epee seniors where around. Awesome, I know right? The usual lessons happened, with S&S practices in between. AV crew for the win! And went out with my good friends WZ, Gerald, Nicole, Joyce and a new friend, Kelvin. Had a spectacular time with these awesome people, I really missed them. So this Hari Raya Haji was dedicated to my bunch of NCC pals. Love them all. And I should have spend the time studying, crap.

I Had Many Things To Say, But The Thoughts Just Faded Away.

Hoping Your Pain Would Go Away.

The World Is Scary, I'll Just Go With That Until I Remember What I Wanted To Type.

Future Uncetained

2010-11-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

Well, it's been 1, no, 2 weeks since I posted a post.
All has been well. If you notice, the start of each word is not capitalised, yet.
Well, Now It Is.
However, Capitalizing Will Be Done Later, Now To mellow down.
During these 2 weeks, much has happened. But if I have to rewind now, I can remember parts of it only. Friends bitching about people here and there, and then putting on an act when they are around, or totally ignoring them. Many meet up with the people from LSCT Society, usually around the orange seats near E-Mart. LSCT training. Remember having dinner at VivoCity with Qiai, Dom, Alvin, Weiler, Kaifeng, Yumni, Brandon and Daneal at Banquet, but instead Alvin and me took a detour to Superdog instead, then we were suppose to have a HTHT session at the open area on the 3rd floor, which instead turned out to be a GLGT session.
And about GLGT session, although I receive 'scratches' from one to the other, its a good thing that I can withstand the 'attacks' and 'blows' from you guys, with the shield that grands me power, I call it *takes a deep breath*:
'Accepting Negative Feedback Because I'm Open And Not Falling Into A State Of Depression, Which Could Have Resulted Myself In Become The Things That Sprout From The Mouths Of Frank, And Allows Me To Prove Them Wrong And Change, Yet The Side Effect Is Laziness, If You Know What I Mean', or in short, ANFBIOANFISD WCHRMBTTSFTMF AAMPTWAC YSEIS IYKWIM.
Hmm... Maybe I'll just call it 'shield'.
Maybe if they targeted anyone else to use as a way to socialise, that guy may have suffered, badly.
Being aware out loud for the win.
Anyway, that was on a single day, still remembered having S&S practice, fencing training, no tutorials, birthday celebrations, some pool, and Friday, where, I think, I went home early on the first week. Well, had two awesome Halloween parties, on a Saturday, and the other on a Sunday. Saturday was with the SBM crew, and I wore as a Cowboy. Sunday was awesome party with, well, drinking. I drank one of the most I think, but I was high, I do say.
And last week, well, nothing much, boring lessons, practicals, fencing, and a outing on Friday. Went to Dhoby Ghout to play. But wasn't planned well, so we just roam the arcade, heading off to LAN with Alvin, Isaac, Brandon, Royston. Went to catch a movie with my fencing buddies, it was Magamind. And then went to collect my Ez-Link card because I forgot to take it from the person mending the LAN shop. Had to go all the way to Marina Square to meet Brandon to collect it. I also played LAN with Nigel, Jeremy and JL on Monday.
Well Saturday was awesome, LAN, boardgames and a dance contest to watch, but at a cost.
Anyway, that was most of the stuff I remember... OH! I saw a middle-aged guy peeing at the bus stop close to midnight, and a girl staring an array of condoms at 7-Eleven on another night! Never expected a girl to look a condoms that much, or a a guy to pee at a pole of the bus stop. What the world has come too these days.

I Think I Have Mentioned Before.
My Persona Varies From People To People.
So Try Not To Guess What Type Of Person I Am.
Or Guess It From My Blog.
If You Can't Decode It Don't Assume.
Being Frank And Having Simple-Mindedness Has Its Pros And Cons.
But It's Just A Con Here.
I Can Prove Wrong In Many Aspects.
But Like Few, I Don't Bother.

And Keep Things In A Circle.
What Happened To, Only In This Circle Of People?
Weak-Willed, Break A Promise, Cover It Up.
In Some Cases, Please Do Not Say It In Front Of Others.
Its Not Funny When People Start Implying Lies Into The Truth.

No Limitations

2010-10-24T23:31:00.000+08:00

Blogs Are Mirrors Which Reflects The Imperfection Of Humans.
Other Than Updates On The Latest News And Shopping.

Some Flaws Can Be Changed, While Some Have To Be Accepted.
It Has To Be Two-Sided.

We Live To Learn And Understand.
We Observe And Listen.
We Know And Hide It.
But For How Long?

I Have Multiple Personas Around Different People.
What Is My Real Self Then?
Even I Have No Clue.

You Are Like A Flower.
You Won't Blossom Until It's Time.
And You Follow A Straight Path Of Growth.
And You Fight To Be Better That The Others,
Plants.

Well, a week has past, and been going out very frequently during these days. School is starting tomorrow. My Monday wasn't much, got to spend time with my good old friend Gerald. Went swimming. Tuesday had Fencing training and S&S practice after. Wednesday was LSCT training and pool after. Thursday was bowling day, KOI day and mass fun day at Farrer Park! Friday was another training and more pool! Hanged out with SBM and gang on the Saturday! And visit grandma and cousins today!
School is starting tomorrow, and I'm still sick of it.

Curiosity Killed The Cat, But Cats Has Nine Lives, That's Why It Killed The Cat.

Don't Fake A Smile.
Dependency Is Required Everyday.
Don't Worry About Us Worrying.
Worry About Yourself Worrying.
We Will Help You.
That's Why We Are There.

Imperfection Recreated.

2010-10-18T11:17:00.000+08:00

Life Moves To Fast.
Many Things Need To Be Done.
Time Waits For No Man.
Stop And Think.
Waste Time Thinking.
Stop For That Minute.
Relax From The Stress.
Being Robots With No Limit.
Being Humans Needing Rest.
Robots Require Repair.
Humans Need It Even More.
Stop A Day Or Two.
Remember Though.
Time Waits For No Man.

The Friends And Family.
Enjoy That Time.
Feel The Love.
Love Their Presence.
Protect From Harm.
Acknowledge Them.
Listen To A Voice.
Laughter Fills The Air.
Respect And Accept.
Wish All Happy.
Pray Each Healthy.
Rid Away The Wrong.
And Hold On.
Tight.

Religion Should Not Be Persuaded.
Never Approach Someone Just To Introduce It.
It'll Just Sway Others Away From It.
Effort Wasted.
A Target Of Gossip.
A Misunderstanding Among The Masses.
Don't Need To Spread The Word.
If You Believe.
They Will Come To You.

English Songs Varies In Awesomeness.
Chinese Songs Portray Strong Feelings.
Japanese Songs Tell Tales Of Life.
Korean Songs Shows Stories Of Love.
Indian Songs Are Destroyed By Buffalax.
And I Barely Listen To Malay Songs.

Last Monday, it was another S&S rehearsal day. Alvin did not come for it. And we discovered that some of the main and supporting actors could not make it for the AGL performance. Ate dinner with them, and headed home to pack my bag for the Fencing camp the next morning.
Arrived at school at 8.30am on a Tuesday morning at the atrium. Had morning PT, lunch, then stayed at the loft till coach's training. Well, we played Frisbee before the training. My team won due to my awesome support(Kidding, its call teamwork). After buying a drink, went back for a rest, and at 6.30pm, it was training time. Went back for dinner, some chit-chat, truth and dare, and sleep.
Woke up by KaiKin with the pillow-whacking-me-while-I'm-still-or-half-asleep technique, or can be called a one-sided pillow fight. Seems to work on most people. Well, it was raining, so the morning run was cancelled. Went back for a nap before Wednesday LSCT training. I would have skipped it, if it wasn't for my group games that day. So well all took PT, survived a long, difficult, painful yet numbing circuit run, packet our lunch, collected our logistics and started with our games. It was crazy and fun. After pumping, debriefing, and our group's debrief, I ran off for my training for Fencing. Trained more and then fell asleep, after talking.
Was awaken by Ben with that pillow technique. Took a short nap, and then had breakfast. Pack up some of the stuff in the fencing room, went back for lunch while watching some videos. Played Frisbee after, which my team won, YAY! Had free fencing and dinner at Market, met up with Saberers at a bowling ally, bought some food, hanged out with them, and sleep.
Slept well through the night, packed up and went to S&S rehearsal. It was full dress that day, and the AGL showcase later. It was crazy but fun. Went to MacDonald's after, and went home.
Saturday was GS birthday, so went to Sentosa with the 6 musketeers(it was actually five because Corey wasn't there). Ben and Marcus also came. Had some crazy fun there. Washed up and LAN with GS, JL, Ben and Marcus, while the rest went home. Awesome shit to end the day.
Sunday was slack day, camping at home.
Today? Going to gym later with Gerald.

Living The Way I Didn't Dream Of And Wanted.
But Living It The Way I Love.

Relaxing Stress

2010-10-11T00:11:00.002+08:00

I Already Mentioned That I'm Weird.
And Also, No One Actually Was Forced Into Doing It.
So No Harm Done.

Let run through the week shall we?
Loft-ed for 4 days, till Wednesday.
Shall not go into details cause there was to many things that happened, but to summarise:
Drinking, PSPs, Games, Practice, Hear-to-Heart Talks, Toplessness for the guys, Dota sharing session, Flaring up, Politics, Eating steamboat, Pool, and many more things.
Moving on to Thursday, I only went to fencing I guess, and ate at MacDonald's.
Friday, went for Group games meeting, went out to buy logistics, and KOI. YES! KOI. Headed down to Dohby Ghout to meet GS and Nigel. We ate, play LAN and talked.
Saturday, presented my Movie 'Tuesdays with Morrie' to them for the sharing session. Had dinner and played BANG! Awesome game. Went home after that.
Today? Went for LAN with Jeremy and Nigel. Headed to school for our school anniversary banquette. Ryan could not get in because he ain't got no ticket, so he went off with Nigel and Jeremy for dinner. Met GS and Jo'di, and other classmates and friends of mine. Well, I want to cut this short, so I'm not going to list them. I almost left the place because I had to sit away from GS and Jo'di with some random people. But then I remain at the table, being the extra one there. Well, I couldn't say they tried. Took some pictures and went home with GS after.

See How Boring My Blog Is When I Only Type About What Happen.
Boring...
Weirdness Is My Thing.
Live Would Be Boring Without Me, To Me That Is.

Accepting Feedback, But Some Things Have No Choice For You To Accept And Live With It.
It Cannot Be One Sided All The Time.
We Accept Some Of Your Habits, You Accept Some Of Mine.

Unchangeable Change

2010-10-02T20:42:00.000+08:00

Where Did I Left My Life Last At?
Lets Search.

The Idea Of Something Can Manifest.
But It May Result As Nothing.

After Failure, We Seek Redemption.
But Will We Find It?

Thoughts Are Never Fixed.
We Think, We Follow, We Uphold, We Forget.
Time Moves On.
And Contradiction Occurs.
And So There Are Reminders.

Many Things Are Infinite.
What About People?
They Are Remembered.

We Tried, We Helped.
Listening Just Ain't Working Out For Some.
So But We Have No Choice To Let You Fall.
But Let Me Ask.
Will You Be Strong Enough To Stand After That?
Or Fall Even Further?
If You Fall, Not Only You Regret.
We Regret, For Not Being Of Help To You.
As A Fellow Person.
As A Fellow Friend.
Trust.

Everyone Will Dwell In Their Past.
Whether Good Or Bad.
Don't Let It Spoil The Future.
They Are Only Reminders.

People Might Be Ass-Holes.
Faggots, Or Just Spoilt.
But Why Judge?
You Are Not Better By Doing So.
Even If They Are, They Are Humans Like All Of Us.
And Everyone Has Issues.
Can You Sense The Backlash?

Just A Friend?
Or A Spy?
Clueless Or Smart?
Looks May Be Deceiving.
Yet, Can Also Say It All.

It was a Monday, and Kaifeng, Royston, Alvin and Elena decided to come down for a visit. Slacking, swimming and basically eating is what you can do at my house. I wished I had a LAN/arcade room. Went out to eat and arcade, but Elena went home before that. And Awesome day I have to say.
And then came Tuesday, where there was S&S practice and fencing training after. Ate at market after.
And next came Wednesday, for LSCT Society. The training was well, as usual, with circuit and all. Next came lunch followed by the group games from Group 1, with Clara, Jewel, Mabel and Weiler as Game Masters. I really loved their third game. Spanking awesome. Had dinner after bathing, discuss about our group games and played pool as well. Royston pawned me with a golden break, and I self-Owned, yours truly, in less than 3 minutes. I need a pool table at home. Did some of the group games proposal but fell asleep.
Thursday was another S&S practice, and had fencing training after. When I held the blade, my hand started shacking. That's the drawback of circuit training the day before. MacDonald's afterwards. Went home to try completing The S&S proposal, but fell asleep again.
Friday, another S&S practice before our SGL showcase hours later. Collected keys and stuff. Lunch, and went to the big stage to rehearse at LT26. Kinda crazy with all the PA and stuff. Well, did it, twice, and gave some feedback to us. Did it better again, but still not an epic performance. Well went home to rush the proposal after having dinner at MacDonald's, but, I fell asleep again!
And guess what? I woke up today to find my that my SGL in-charge was pissed. Half awake, I rush do complete the rest of the proposal and schedule. Then send it in. Sorry Kimberly, I did not mean to not send it in on time. Then just wasted my day at home. Tomorrow is LOFT day.

Sympathy Or Negativity?
Tell Them It's Your First Day On Your Job.
They Sympathize You For Not Being Able To Do A Good Job.
Or Let Them Complain About You?
I Don't Want Sympathy Or Negativity.
I Want Feedback So I Can Work On My Mistakes.
But If I Had To Choice Between The Two.
I Would Rather Be Yelled At Than Be Sympathized And Not Learn Anything.
But They Only Yell Cause They Don't Know Your Side Of The Story.
If Both Parties Knew Why This Happens And What Is Going On.
Then We Can Understand And There Will Not Be Any Flaring Up.
Simple Yet Humans Made It Complex.

Waiting For It.

Tall Tales

2010-09-26T17:55:00.000+08:00

Saying Things You Don't Know.
Please Don't.
Ask Or Confront.
Don't Say It Behind Someone.
Especially Me.
I Suggest Confronting Me.
Don't Need To Be A Coward.
I Will Only Take It As Feedback.

You Can Call It A Spy.
Not The One From Team Fortress 2.
It Is Around.
Seems Like A Double Agent.
Or Triple.
Don't Be Fooled.

I Laugh At Misunderstands Others Have On Others.
And It Is Usually Due To Simple-Mindedness.

I Know I'm Easily Influenced.
So I Always Look Things On Both Side Of The Fence.
Is This True? Or Were We Wrong?
People Think To Much At Times.
Which Is Sometimes Right.
While Others Think Beyond That.
Well I Do.
There Is Never Just One Or Two Possibilities.
There's Are Endless Possibilities.
I Never Stop Just To Look At 1.
It's Never Like Glucose.
My Thoughts Are More Like Glycogen.
But In The End, It's Usually The First Or Second, Or Maybe Even The Third Possibility That Occur.
But It's Also Possible Of The Other Possibilities To Occur.

You Can't Love Someone Forever.
You Only Can Love Someone Till The Day That You Die.

I Should Have Posted This On Thursday.
But I Was Lazy To Type From Here.
Plus I Did Not Want To Jump To Conclusions.
Anyway, Just To Say.
Please Don't Drag Anyone Down.
And Help Yourself.
Good Luck.

So lets us rewind back to Wednesday, where us LSCT GLs went to buy stuff for our OAC. Got a glow in the dark bottle, a raincoat, insect repellent, zip-locks and a few other important stuff. Went to Qweentown Shopping Centre to find stuff for Alvin. He and Isaac bought a pair of shorts each. Went to Isaac to eat and chit-chat. Went home where the next day, I packed. Friday to Sunday, I had OAC, but I might talk about that later. I'm so tired now after a game of pool and lunch.

Tired
So Tired

2010-09-21T15:34:00.000+08:00

An Owl's True Potential Is Only Shown In The Night.
But If It Doesn't Watch And Learn How To Hunt For It From His Father.
It Will Die Of Starvation When It's His Turn.

Seriously, After Giving A Though To It, It's Kinda Stupid.

It's Amazing To See People Facing Reality In The Eye, It Fasinates Me To Find People Hiding From The Face Of Reality.

The Invisible Line Between People.
We Don't See It.
So We Misgauge It.

What Is Scary?
The Mind.
His Mind, Her Mind, Our Minds, Their Minds, My Mind.
Each Individual, Like We All Know, Has A Mind Of Its Own.
And What A Single Mind Can Do Is Very Dangerous.
It Can Kill You From Within.
Or Can Drastically Affect Others Within Them As Well.
But That's Only A Single Mind.
Multiple Minds Of The Same Idea Is Beyond The Term 'Danger'.
If The Collection Of Minds Think Differently, Chaos Will Likely To Occur.
However, The Mind Can Be Both A Friend And A Foe.
It's Just How You Condition It.

Grasping Hold Of Something Dear.
Letting Go, Leaving A Trail Of Tears.
And Moving On For A Reason.

I'm A Question Mark.
Unwind Me To See The Exclamation Mark.
Don't Think Otherwise.

Life Was Never Easy.
Life Presents To You Many Surprises.
Many, Many Bad Things.
But That's What Makes The Good Things So Awesome.
Even The Smallest Of Positive News.
Would Make You Feel Great.
Life Might Be Painful And Saddening When You See The Big Picture.
But When You Go Into The Smallest Details Of That Picture Which Are Perfect.
Life Is Just Great.

So rewinding back to Monday, which was yesterday, had rehearsals and preparations for S&S, whereas after, had group games meeting in school. Had dinner at school and went somewhere near Clementi MRT station. They wanted to buy some stuff for our Overseas Adventure Camp(OAC). So did some window shopping, slacking and talking cock, before heading home. Well, today, there is S&S practice, and currently rehearsing for the skit, partially. Having Fencing later, Hoho.

Somehow, Everyone Seems Similar When You Notice It.
Or Were They Always Similar?

Similar Difference.

2010-09-19T17:51:00.000+08:00

I Missed Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday For Blogging, See If I Can Catch Up Today.

Well, last Saturday, I only remembered having SBM sharing session about Karma, and awesomely, I'm loving these sharing sessions, it really does teaches me to be an upright person, well trying my best to at least. Could remember I at Roti Prata after the sharing, and it was awesome too. If I'm not wrong, after dinner, we just slacked around. I was offered by the rest to go PlazaSing, but me and Fu Zhong were afraid that we would encounter the previous problem of not doing anything there. So I went home after.
Lets talked about Sunday... Nothing much.
So Monday was chalet day for our class, a pathetic number of 6 people show up in the end, one of them which was me. Alex, Melvin, Kugan and Ninette. Vanessa came late at night. Alex, Melvin and me met at White Sands and had our lunch at Burger King. Headed to the chalet and it was so screwed. Someone 18 and above can only help book in for us. Tried to do a bluff, but the attempt failed. So we went looking around for someone who was, found a guy after an hour. Checked in and clean up our room. Kugan and Ninette came later on. Went out for a walk then came back to the chalet to slack. Vanessa arrived after awhile, and then went off to another chalet no long after. Walked around and slacked at Downtown East. Ordered Pizza and brought it back for dinner. Vanessa came back to the chalet, while we watched the 'Hangover' on Melvin's laptop, after drinking a small cup of vodka. Vanessa went to sleep halfway through. Then went drank quite a lot. It was awesome, Melvin vomited. Went to sleep later on.
Tuesday, we woke up and went for cycling and blading. Vanessa did not know how to ride a bike and skate, so I had to get a two-seater. Ride to the playground to, well, play. Rode back and slacked in the chalet. Went to sleep and woke up to prepare for the BBQ. Well, almost all the girls and guys from our class came. The chef was Kugan and Melvin today. Dr Tan was there as well. Ninette invited some guys from our lecture theatre to come. It was quite awesome. Watched the match between ManU and Rangers, it was a Nil-Nil. Went home to prepare for LSCT training in the morning.
So Wednesday, I reached home at 5:30AM. Went to print out some stuff, took a bath, and went for training. Circuit training was crazy after what I have been through. Played games of luck, and my group owns. Had a briefing for my OAC trip. Went home straight after for dinner and to sleep.
Woke up on Thursday and rushed to school for S&S training, some politics going around. Shall not go into it. Had fencing after. A 1:1 WIn-Lose Ratio(3:3) that day. Had Dinner with Ben, Louis and KaiKin at market.
Friday, S&S training again. Much lesser people came for it. Celebrated YuHan's birthday, and went out for dinner at Beauty World. Played pool and talked cock.
Saturday, well yesterday, went to SBM sharing session. Learnt more about the 5 precepts. had an awesome dinner after, and played with sparklers, firecrakers, smoke bombs and lanterns after. Although I feel at times I don't click with the group, I just love their presence and enthusiasm, makes me feel happy every Saturday.
Today? Nothing much.

Well, I Wanted To Type My Thoughts.
But The Post Is Quite Long Already.
What A Excuse.

It Doesn't Seem Like A Holiday.
It Seems Like Preparing For An Exam On 1st October.
Even During The Holidays.
I Feel Stress.

Right's Not

2010-09-10T21:48:00.002+08:00

What Can I Say? Manga And Exams Have Been Restraining Me From Blogging.

Fairy Tail, Read It.

I Thought Of So Many Things, But I'm Not Sharing, Because I Forgot, And I'm Lazy.

Well, away due to exams, last left off was Alvin, JieShi, Clara and Elena came to my house to study. Me and Alvin went swimming while the girls hanged out in my room and around the condo. Made instant noodles. Biomolecular Science Examination the next day, I played the day after that, went to studay the day next. Last Saturday went to SBM and had dinner with family. Then Fangshen the next day. Studied on Monday, then Mathematics, Thermodynamics And IPC to end it. I had painful stomach problems after Mathematics. And it lasted after IPC, stright after that. I vomited at home a few times, in the sink of course. After IPC, went out with GS and JL for Dinner and to play LAN. We love Team Fortress 2 now. So talked cock and went home after that. And here comes today. Ate and sleep, and went out to get my PSP fixed while torrenting games at home, and Lunch/Dinner with dearest sis.

Ending Off Here.
Short One

2010-09-01T01:04:00.000+08:00

We Contradict Ourselves Everyday.
Lack Of Self-Control Is A Reason.

How Did One Come Up With The Word Beauty?
How Was It Defined?
Why Does Our Mind Think That One IS Beautiful?
The Complexity Of Beauty Doesn't Stop Here.

We Use Common Sense To Help Us In Our Daily Lives.
It Makes Us What We Call 'Normal'.
But When We Are Face With A Difficulty.
Do We Follow Common Sense?
Or Do Think Out Of The Ordinary?

I'll cut this short.
Been rotting at home other than Saturday, and Teacher's Day. Went to a talk about spectres, casper and ghostbusters related stuff, if you know what I mean. So learn a bit more about them and well, got slightly less afraid. Anyway, ate lunch with them after packing up the area. Then went home.
Well, yesterday, since the day has already past, went back to HOUGANG SECONDAY SCHOOL(I know it's capitalized, that's a warning to prepare readers who are planning to go this school for the worst).
Met with Ryan, Alex and Darren at Hougang Point's MacDonald's for breakfast. Went back to school and walk around, met some teachers and old pals. Then as it approach the afternoon, more and more arrived and we went for the concert which was... Well, it was a good try, plus it was for the Teachers. Corey and JL arrived right after the performance ended, nice timing. So waited, and waited, and talked cock, and waited, and took a picture of part of the class, and finally Mrs Lai was out of the meeting so we could catch hold of her for that few minutes to chat. After doing some catching up, went back to Hougang Point for lunch at KFC. Ryan and Darren met up with the 5 of us, where Jeremy wasn't there, to talk more crap. Decided to go LAN, after 30 minutes of deciding, while Darren and Ryan went home. Too a bus to the MRT station. Corey had to go home cause he could not contact his parents to inform him on his misadventures with us. So we LAN-ed, Battlefield 2 and L4D2. Where we had dinner after at PizzaHut, where Jeremy finally arrived. So we ate, chat, chatted more, and we finally departed. Won't go into details but I have to say: Time Flies When You Are Having Fun Wasting Time With Them, It Was Awesome.
What about the other days?
Short and sweet: DOTA and Study.

Till Two Years
Or 10/10/10 :D

2010-08-27T22:04:00.002+08:00

Bored On A Friday Night.
How Epic Can That Be?
Gaming On A Friday Night.
So Nerdz.

Currently, I've been only doing two things at home... OK, 5 things: sleep, eat, study, game and rot. It sucks when you are not in school. You don't do a lot at home. Maybe going to watch Youtube later, and maybe continue studying. How exciting is that(sense the sarcasm)! Teacher's Day is around the corner, something to look forward too, and 2 days after is my Semester's Biomol Test. 40% of my marks, great(Sarcasm again). However, around at 20% plus would get me my A, so I'm kinda confident, the rest of my exams are luckily a week later, because I need to get close to full marks for those. Like kill me for not studying for the tests and quizzes before.

Playing With Sand

2010-08-25T21:48:00.001+08:00

Believe Me.
I'm Playing For Leisure.
I Don't Want To Be Serious.

So making this short, today went out to study with Brandon and Chuan Yan.

Bored, Playing Dota With The Guys.

2010-08-24T17:08:00.001+08:00

Lies.
Something I Never Liked.
Something I Don't Like People To Do.
But I Experience It Everyday.
And I Myself Will Lie Too.
So I Don't Like Myself As Well Possibly.
We Live In A World Full Of It.
We Need To Lie To Achieve Things In Life.
But There Is No Point Lying If It Hurts You.
There Is No Point Lying If It's Pointless.
Some Stuff Are Not Meant For Lying.
White Lies Are Good In A Sense.
But It Is Still Lying.
Bending The Truth Is Partial Lying.
But Still Considered Lying.
But When Someone Or That Person Finds Out The Truth.
Gossip And Rumours Will Spread.
And Nasty Things Will Be Mention.
Disappoint And Unhappiness Is Seen.
You May Expect The Truth Being Bent Along The Way.
Till It Reaches The Receiver Of The Lie.
It Will Hurt That Person Worst Than Telling The Truth At The Start.
That's Why They Say When You Lie, You Need 10 Lies To Cover Up That Lie.
And You Will Need 100 Lies To Cover Up That 10.
And The List Continues.
How Long Can You Lie?
How Long Will It Last?
Will You Ever Get Tired Of It?
We Live In A World Of Lies.
To Cover The Secrets And The Truth.
I Try Not Lying To A Friend.
I Would Say 'I Can't Reveal That Secret' If It Wasn't Obvious.
But I Would Lie For The Sake Of A Friend If I Had To Protect Something Dear To Him/Her.
Even If It Is To Another Friend.
We Live In A World Of Lies.
Think About It.
We Have To Accept It.
But Will It Ever End?

Cry Me A River.

Book Smarts VS Street Smarts.
Street Smarts Wins Hands Down In Life.
But It Seems You Don't Have Any.
So It's Impossible To Hide It.

Manners, Please Have Some And Learn Some.

I Go Crazy At Times.
Heck I Love Being Crazy.
But When I'm Quiet And Conserved.
I Observe, Listen And Watch.
I Pay Attention To My Surroundings Clearly.
I Pay Attention To The People Around Me.
I Pay Attention To The Gestures And The Actions.
I Listen To The Sound, Music, Voice, Tone And Pitch Around Me.
And I Think And Interpret.
And At Times, It's Scary When I'm Right.
And It Has Been Scary Since The Beginning.

Study Progress: 13%
Improvement, But Can Do Better.
Take Note.
Seems That Most Of My Friends Either Have Girlfriends Now, Before Or Someone That Likes Them, While I Don't.
Noted As Well.

Singing And Dancing.
A Form Of Self-Expression.
Whether You Are Happy, Sad, Angry, Confused, Irritated, Jealous And Many More.
The Two Above Will Help Overcome This Feelings.
And It's A Way Of Life.

Seems That Naming Stuff Isn't Important.
It's A Waste Of Time.
But It's Fun.

I Should Start Charging My PSP.

*Rewinding back to Saturday and removing caps at the start of most of the words*
Well, went to SBM for the Handing-Over Taking-Over Ceremony. Had refreshments after that. Went to City area to waste time, then headed home.
Sunday, stayed over at Weiler's house for some fun, studied on the way there. Went to play basketball with Kaifeng, Weiler, Chuanyan, Dominique and Qiai. Went to his house after. Had a bath, dinner, cleaning the plates and utensils, and simply slacking around. Clara and Alvin came after. Talked to Alvin in the kitchen, at the same time help him eat some of the rice he could not finish. Drank tequila and redbull. Played cards, mahjong and music throughout the night, although Qiai and Dominique had to go home early. Lost a lot of money in blackjack. Sang with ChuanYan all night long.
So its saturday morning and we decided to take a snooze. Sleep till around 10am and Kaifeng, Chuanyan and Clara left. So I spend almost 1 and a half hours trying to wake the other two up and went to take a bath. Went out after to meet the rest at PlazaSing. Went shopping, window shopping played more cards and went for the movie. StepUp3D was spanking awesome. 8/10 rating for me. The acting was a bit crappy, and the romance very cliché, but Since dancing was the main thing, it gets that high. Went to the arcade, then dinner, then Lan, then pool. $40 was spent wisely I guess. So headed home around 11PM.
Today, studying, and rotting at home too.

Do I Fit In?
Or Am I Just Observing?
I Always Wonder.

Thinking Over The Edge.
Awesome, Time To Make A Bridge To The Other Edge.

Making The Impossible Possible.
Not At A Cost Of Friendship Though.

Shit Biomol Test Is Next Week.
No Problem, But I Have Not Study Yet.

Story Musically

2010-08-21T00:50:00.000+08:00

Dude, Sorry That I Did Not Say The Truth.
I Don't Want Anything To Occur.
I Only Admire From A Far.
Therefore I Said 'No'.

At Times I'm Still Not Convince.
But At Times I Think To Much.

My Thoughts Which Question My Understanding.
Also A Bitter-Sweet Feel.

Things Which I Want To Do/Get Yet Afraid To Achieve.
Afraid To Get Hurt.
But We Still Get Hurt Deliberately.
When You Don't Do It.
Or The Process Of Doing It.
And At Many Times, The End Of It.

Time Warp! Thursday, where I went out for a game of pool and dinner at PizzaHut with ChuanYan, Clara and KaiFeng for pool, while dinner with ChuanYan, Clara and JeiShi. Went home after. Friday, did some rehearsals for the script, and pool after S&S practice.

I've Been Playing Lots Of Pool.
And Been Short Of Lots Of Cash.

Everyone Wants To Be in A Relationship.
That Why Everyone Has Somebody They Like.
Even I Want To Be In A Relationship.
I Want To Know How The Feeling Is Like.
But Will It Be 'Till Death Do Us Part?'
And Could It Leave A Scar?
My Christian Friend Told Me.
That There Will Be One True Soul-mate.
You Just Got To Find That Person.
I Want To Believe That.
But Why Do Some People Die Single?
I Wonder.

Thinking Questions

2010-08-18T22:20:00.000+08:00

Frequent Blogging Reduces Lengthy Post.
Take Note.
Studying Progress: 2%
Noted.

Maplestory Doesn't Need To Be A 2D MMORPG.
Some People Made It Into Art.
An MMV by 'omgPockii' Youtube Channel. Click here to see the MMV 'Face Down'.

Relationships...
I Was Discussing About That With My Friends A Day Ago.
...
Lets Skip This.
Some Other Time Maybe.

So guess what? I gym-ed today with Gerald. Then Subway, and went to buy swimming gear. Browse around and went home.

This Is Really, Really Short.

A Long Shot

2010-08-18T02:18:00.000+08:00

Life Is Always Balance.
On One Side There Is Your Bright Side Of Life.
On The Other Is What You Think Is Horrible Side Of It.
I Like My Friends.
But I Can't Bare To Choose Between Them.
Plan A, The Simple 'Just Choose' Way.
Plan B, Sit On The Bench, Which Is A Difficult Thing To Do, And May Not Work Out.
Plan C, The Suicidal Choice Where You Don't Be Their Friends, Resulting Them To Not Like You And Be Friends Instead.
C Doesn't Always Work, Its Like Having A Common Enemy That Helps Them To Be Good Friends.
Plan D, Sit Down Together As A Group And Make New Friends And Settle Differences.
Well, If Plan D Could Just Always Happen.

It's LATE.
Monday, read some stuff and rot.
Tuesday, S&S practice, and I got to say we are doing well. Pool after :)
Yay! My first smiley on my post.
From what I remembered.

My Inspiration Came And Gone.
My Train Of Thoughts Arrived And Left.
So Keeping This Short.

You Can't Chat And Blog At The Same Time.
Doesn't Work That Way When You Are To Involve In The Chatting.

Face Down And Just So You Know Are Awesome Songs.

2010-08-15T23:02:00.000+08:00

Ohh!!! Garena Crashed!
I'm Just Reading Off A MSN Display Name.

Hold On, I'm Going To Do Some Stuff First.
Been Away For Five Minutes.
Don't Think You Can Feel My Five Minutes.
I Should 'Dot' For Five Minutes To Show I Have Done Stuff.
Dot, Dot, Dot, Dot, Dot.
Or Maybe Not.

EATZ TEE SUIDHUSHZ MWEZTBALLZ!!!!@#$%^&*()_+

OK, Totally Random.

Been Watching 'Tobuscus' Videos.
Hilarious.
Click The 'Tobuscus' Above To His Channel.
Or That 'Tobuscus', Or This One.

Going to make this short, or somewhat shorter than my previous post. Here's the weekends events!
Saturday! Rot.
Sunday! Went out with Marcus and Ben for lunch!!! And slacked at YangYew's House.
And that's my weekends!!!
Oh man, that is so... Fun.

So lately I have not started on my revision yet.
OMG!!!!!
I'm not capitalizing at the start of each word!
Amazing.
Back to the think about revision.
I keep thinking that I have a lot of time and I can do it later.
Which currently now I have unless I waste it away.
And that is the major concern.
My tomorrow never comes, and I have to keep telling myself that that tomorrow won't come.
And it has to be today, NOW.
It like saying your ulterior motive on doing that, for example :
I'm going to use reverse psychology to like my post by saying 'I wonder if anyone would like this status?' as my status. Friday at 11:31pm · Comment · Like
Maybe that might work.
Or your just an idiot.
But in my case, its just being an idiot.
And I don't want to be one of it.
Even though I part dodo already.
So I better do it ASAP.
Starting from tomorrow!
Not now because it's late and it harms my health.

Hmm, Cooling Tea.
Capitalized On.

Girls Are Hard To Understand.
Their Flow Of Thoughts Are Everywhere.
Or What It Seems.
Girls Are Smarter Than They Look.
But A Few Can Be Done With That Comparison.
If Not Where Did The Term 'Bimbo-tic Look' Come About.
Sometimes They Do Have A Motive Behind What They Do.
Or Maybe They Don't.
But Guys, Well, Depending On The Type Of Guy, They Sometimes Think There Is A Motive.
Or Some Rather Just 'Heck-Care' About It.
And Usually We Think There Is A Motive, We Just Don't Know What It Is.
So We Try Figuring Out What That Is.
In The End, We Are Wrong, There Was Nothing At All, Or We Guess The Wrong Motive.
And Writing This Is Through Experience.
I Think.
Or Was It In A Dream?
Maybe I Should Write A Handbook On How Girls Think.
Or Someone Should.
But It Is IMPOSSIBLE.
Notice The Caps.
Because Of The Ever Changing Generation.
It Is Not Fixed, And That Flow Of Thoughts Changes.
One Generation Could Like Justin Bieber, The Next Gen Could Hate Him.
Please Let It Be True, Please Let That Be True.
WAIT!
It Already Is Judging By The Fact That Someone Threw A Water Bottle At Him.
Kudos To You.
So Ya, Its Impossible.
Unless...
What Type Of Guy Am I?
Once Was The One That Believes There Is A Motive.
And Still A Guy That Believes There Is A Motive.
But On The Outside, It Seems Like I Don't Know About It Because It Might Affect The Course Of Life As We Knew It, Cause Chaos And Confusion Among The People And Then...
Moving Back To The Course.
So I'll Be Thinking About It, By Keeping Quiet About It.
That Sentence Feels Slightly Ironic Now.
No, Very Ironic.
And Proving Myself Right When I Am Right, Boosting My Self-Esteem.
I Know Sounds Very Douchebag-ish.
Or 'OK, I Was Wrong, That Was Right, So What?'
Another Douchebag-ish Thought.

Its Hidden Everywhere.
You Can Find It If You Decrypt It.
Shhhh....

My Blog Is Too Noisy To Me.
Lets Stop Here.

Impossible Codes

2010-08-14T01:38:00.002+08:00

Seems That I Have Passed 400. Post.

I Shall Not And Would Not Fall For A Girl.
It Kills A Man If It Don't Work Out.
I Shall Just Admire Them From Afar And Let Them Get Snagged By Other Fishy's In The Big Open Ocean.
Eh. I Got Over The Phase Of Scaring Myself.
Unless There Is A Ninety-Nine To A Hundred Percent Guarantee That I Can Get It, With A Warranty Card And Excluding GST And Interest Fee.

Going Thorough Almost The Starting Half Of My Polytechnic Life, Year 1, Has Thought Me Valuable Things And Lessons.
No, Not My Actual Lessons In School.
No, Not Porn Or Anything Related To That In Anyway, Because No One Can't Teach Me That.
And No, Not How To Vomited In My Sleep, That Doesn't Need Learning, It Requires Drinking.
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1) Never Base On Luck To Help You Find The Right Working Partners, You Most Likely Get Yourself In Deep Shit If You Do.
2) Eating A Whole Orange On A Stick, That Sentence Says It All.
3) Get Two Instead Of Three, You May Feel The Stress When You Have Three.
4) After A Camp, Never Expect Contacts To Contact.
5) Having Many Friends Is A Good Thing, But There Comes A Time When You Are In The Middle And The Stress Of Choosing Sucks.
6a) In Polytechnic, Hot Girls Are Sometimes Sluts, Pretty And Nice Girls Are Well, Nice, But Any Girl Under This Category Is How You Say, Occupied.
6a#) By Any Chance You Fall For One Of The Above, Listen To 'She Got A Boyfriend Now'
6b) If Somehow Any Of This Girls Become Vacant, You Most Usually Have 1 Week To Occupy It.
7) Never Let Your Emotions Make You An Idiot, Because You May Provoke Someone By Punching Them Or Just Being An Idiot To Stare.
7*) In A Case Where You Have To Stare, Smile, That Should Do The Trick.
8) In A Polytechnic, Finding A True Friend Is More Difficult Than Finding A Girlfriend.
8!) You Can Talk About Things To Your Girlfriend Like A True Friend, But At The Risk They Don't Break Up With You.
9) Practice And Hard-Work Really, Really Pays Off And Works, Tested.
9@) Last Minute Doesn't Work Any More.
10) Hi-Bye Friends Are Usually Seen Everyday, From What I Know.
...
...
...
30979s?) Girls With Boyfriends Are Usually Expected To Lose Their Virginity In Year 2.
[30979s? Is A Question Mark Because I Have Morals]
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Please.
I Don't Want To Fall For You.
Because I Don't Believe I'm For You.
Heck, I Don't Believe I'm Fit For Any Girl.

Respect The Ladies.
I Learn That In Polytechnic Too, But It Was Not Listed Above.
Because That Is The Zero Rule, Or Zero Law Just To Make It Sound Cooler.
It's Zero Because It Is More Of An Ideal Than A Lesson.
Don't Stare Or Ogle At Them Because It Rude.
Respect Their Body And Looks, Even How Heavy Their Make-Up Is Or How Little They Wear.
Take Notice Of Them, Acknowledge Their Presence, Admire Their Beauty, And That's All.
Respect Their Personality, Don't Mock It Unless Jokingly When The Person Is Present Around You.
All Women Have To Be Respected, Not Insulted.
Because I Believe They Have The Upper Hand Among Guys In Many Ways.
Just Don't Remain Shy, Be Open With The Correct Mindset.

It's Going To Rain.

So it has been a busy week. Monday was my stay at home to relax and play National Day. Tuesday was a stress day for the S&S practice, which ended off in an awesome PT at Fencing Practice. Wednesday, had a rough and tough training during LSCT which ended off in a movie after. 'Street Dance' was the name, and a 3 out of 5 stars for the movie. Would have been 2.5 without the dance moves. Windowed shopped after that. Thursday ached but gym-ed with my good'old buddy Gerald, had a great Pepper Lunch after, and received my European Blade during Fencing training. Friday brought be shoulder aches with S&S practice, which I have finished the script, with out the in-depth details, leading to singing, Pool after and MacDonald's for dinner.

Impressing Someone Is Not About Words, But About Actions.
I On The Other Hand Have No Plans Of Doing That.

Girlfriend's Pictures On Facebook.
Became Ex-Girlfriend, Pictures Mysteriously Vanish.
Ooo, Supernatural.

There Are Many Things That Makes Life Stressful, But Once You Get Those Things Done, You Feel A Sense Of Relief And Achievement.

If What We Do And Say Had A 'Like' Button, I Would Like It.

Favouring Facts

2010-08-09T13:53:00.000+08:00

Inspiration Comes Short.
Take Note Of It Whenever You Got The Chance.

A Paradox Stuck Within A Paradox.

Sometimes, I'm Confused.
Friends Are A Big Confusion.
I Wonder How Would It Be If I Had Another Me As A Friend.

I Wonder If I Can Type In My Sleep.

OK, so it has been the normal routine from Monday to Thursday, lessons as usual, Tuesdays with two test and fencing. Wednesday with a happy ending to my IS module, and getting A's for my presentation and test, with LSCT after. Thursday, life became a bore. Got up on the wrong side of the bed, and had a very tired feel. went to school with the same feeling. Totally sucked at fencing today. Then thoughts rushed in my mind on my way home. Then came Friday, where I went back to school with Nigel to visit the teachers, met GS and Jeremy for lunch and a movie. LAN for awhile before the movie. The Sorcerer's Apprentice was very cliché, but not a bad cliché. A magic fantasy film cannot be shown in a single movie. Met Ryan and Darren after dinner, it was more like a surprise meet up, did not expect them to be there too. So walked around and talk cock, went to MacDonald's and talk more cock. Well, it was fun till we had to go home. Thought of stuff on my way home.
Saturday went to SBM, listened to sharing, cooked and slacked.
Sunday, I played GE.

I'm Already Feeling The Holiday Blues.
The Holiday Tiredness.
The Holiday Stress.